Finally out of my abusive relationship, looking to start again!

Well it was very hard to do and as many on here have read I was dealign with some pretty heavy stuff regarding my now ex wife.

Try as I may I could not change what was there, as a man we want to fix everything, sometimes we have to realize there are just some things we cant fix.

That being said, here I am. Taken some time away and started focusing on me, and who I am , and realizing again that I am a great person, and I am a giving and hard working kind of guy, and not this monster my ex had almost convinced me I was.

I know what I want now, and what I will not settle for...

I know that I need someone more like me, someone who likes more of the same things that I do, who is fun and funny, and intelligent, and loves sites like ATS, and loves to get out and see the world and try new things and experience LIFE!

Anyway, thank you ATS for your help and encouragement.....

.......and if anyone out there is single..................

My friend..take more time...work on yourself a little longer...fall in love with the inside...not the outside...it gets better...I didnt meet my lifes love till 43 after one divorce and countless failures. Keep the chin up brother.
reply to: ManBehindTheMask

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

Good luck with your new found lease on life. We sometimes stay on a path that we find is toxic and full of obstacles because we want to believe the scenery will eventually change. This is a new path and you have memories to guide you. I hope you avoid making the same mistakes and maintain your outlook you have now, remember you are not what someone else says you are, that is their perception. You are who you are and be true to yourself.

originally posted by: BlueJacket
My friend..take more time...work on yourself a little longer...fall in love with the inside...not the outside...it gets better...I didnt meet my lifes love till 43 after one divorce and countless failures. Keep the chin up brother.
reply to: ManBehindTheMask

....Oh I have, Ive been alone for over 8 months now.....

You make some assumptions about me it seems........

I have been working on myself which is why I know im ready

originally posted by: searcherfortruth
a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

Good luck with your new found lease on life. We sometimes stay on a path that we find is toxic and full of obstacles because we want to believe the scenery will eventually change. This is a new path and you have memories to guide you. I hope you avoid making the same mistakes and maintain your outlook you have now, remember you are not what someone else says you are, that is their perception. You are who you are and be true to yourself.

Thank you for that, indeed it is game changing...

Its very hard sometimes to let go of something Toxic when you get caught in a cycle.....

Funny thing is I realized why her obsession with fitness (which is not bad at all except when it truly does become an obsession)

Literally no matter what was going on in our relationship or with anything else it ALWAYS came second to her Piyo class or the Gym or whatever.....I was actually hit by a car and didnt get a phone call ....I got a txt, with a "sorry I was about to go into my piyo class , and didnt have time"

Her obsession was because she was trying to use the outside, to hide what was broken inside...

Now I love being in good shape, hit the gym 4 times a week, eat right etc....but I would never get to a point where my own family came second to my need to make it to a fitness class....

Anyway enough of that rant....I learned a lot and sometimes its hard to realize that you just dont mean as much to someone as they mean to you....

But its ok, At least I know now just how deep my love can go.......and when the one comes around that will devout all they are as much as I do? Man look out!

Good for you my friend, Best of luck and I hope that you find what you seek.

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

Good to hear Man, we may not see eye to eye all the time but wouldn't wish an abusive relationship on anyone.

Best of luck in the new found search.

originally posted by: lonegurkha
Good for you my friend, Best of luck and I hope that you find what you seek.

Thanks my friend.....what I seek?

Im finding a lot of that in myself.......

But I do know there are women out there that arent so broken that they are intent on breaking other people lol

That would be good to find one day....but until then!

originally posted by: Sremmos80
a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

Good to hear Man, we may not see eye to eye all the time but wouldn't wish an abusive relationship on anyone.

Best of luck in the new found search.

Thank you mam, no we dont , but that doesnt mean we think any less of each other, and thats one thing I respect most about you!

Thank you!

No sir. .not making assumptions...just using my own experience. Just empathizing and offering what I can. When you have waited al you can...imo...wait a little longer.
best wishes mate

reply to: ManBehindTheMask

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

My heart goes out to you; I feel you made a very healthy decision for yourself.

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

I was fortunate enough to find one. A really special one. Unfortunately she passed on. They are quite rare. I seriously doubt I will find another. I sure hope that you do.

I will be satisfied knowing that at least once in my life I knew what a wonderful thing true love is. My wish for you is to find that very thing. You will be amazed at how much it will mean to you.

Full rebound alert ladies!!!

originally posted by: Iamnotadoctor
Full rebound alert ladies!!!

That was in poor taste don't you think?

Having been in a situation that was abusive myself, OP I commend you , it is hard especially for men to get out or relationships like that

It's harder first for some to even admit it's happening

Good on you, and don't listen to the nay Sayers and people like this guy

You know when you're ready

Keep your head high and walk tall

Speaking from experience here: just do you for a while man. Don't worry about starting again for a while. Find your center.

Congrats on the newfound freedom, though. I know very well the massive cloud that lifts once you have that paperwork in your hand with all the signatures and stamps on it.

If you need to blow off some steam, feel free to drop me a u2u. I know how cathartic it can be!

originally posted by: ManBehindTheMask

originally posted by: BlueJacket
My friend..take more time...work on yourself a little longer...fall in love with the inside...not the outside...it gets better...I didnt meet my lifes love till 43 after one divorce and countless failures. Keep the chin up brother.
reply to: ManBehindTheMask

....Oh I have, Ive been alone for over 8 months now.....

You make some assumptions about me it seems........

I have been working on myself which is why I know im ready

Working on yourself ?
Use a sock or something sicko

Only kidding enjoy your life cos it will be over soon

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

Abusive relationships are the hardest to walk away from for just about anyone, I think. We are creatures who do not like to feel as if we cannot fix things that are wrong and sadly, too many awesome people out there waste their time and energy trying...to no end but their own detriment. I'm happy for you that you were able to break away from such a situation. I have had some experience with that myself, unfortunately, and I know how hard it is to walk away. Just guard your heart carefully...you may feel ready, but you're vulnerable and will be for a while yet. Baby steps.

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

I'm glad that you're out of it. I hope that everything works out.

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

Sorry to hear things didn't turn out well. You seemed really happy for a while there. Hang in there

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

But I do know there are women out there that arent so broken that they are intent on breaking other people lol

I think everyone is "broken" you just have to find someone who's broken parts fit yous, than you are both more whole!