Through time, I find that often, I judge myself very harshly, and assume others do to, but it often turns out that they don't. I tend to assume
"everyone hates me" and am surprised to find out later it isn't true.
But that is in real life, I've noticed that on the internet, I have had people assume terrible terrible things about me.
I have confidence in my intent and inner "goodness", but no confidence at all in my ability to communicate that effectively.
I care a lot about others, whether close to me or not, and am very empathic. This sometimes causes me to feel pulled in many different directions, and
end up neglecting some while so focused on another. I got boundry problems.
I'm also prone to momentary breakdowns, where I can be unecessarily emotional, if I get tired. A little time alone and I recover quickly though.
I can be overly concerned with details and subtilities, too serious, and too rational at times when I think that is necessary, which sometimes
irritates people. I am rather introverted, preferring to observe and process deeply what is going on around me, to learn.
I have a love/hate relationship with language. I need to take part in reading, writing, and talking, and like to learn new languages, but at times get
frustrated with the difficulties of sincere communication and need to retreat to interaction with babies, or animals, so that just body language can
I am not jealous or possessive, but can feel hurt easily if I really respect someone, and crawl into my shell. I take responsibility very seriously,
even when there doesn't seen to be a need for it.
Mostly, I am super curious, love to explore new places, people, or ideas. I am always sort of excited by fear of unknown, and overcoming it.
I also have a huge irrational fear of losing those I love. I basically perceive that love can just come to an end at any moment, and loved ones
leave.....so I am always mentally preparing for the moment that will happen and trying to appreciate the moment to the maximum, before it ends. When I
look at the relationship I have with my husband of 25 years now (the longest time anyone has every been with me, including parents) it seems unfair
and irrational, but each day, I still wonder, "Is it today that he will tell me he is leaving?"
edit on 7-6-2015 by Bluesma because: (no reason