Scientific Dating Advice for Women

I have been dating a lot lately, mainly offline but some Tinder and facebook stuff.


From said dating I have noticed a common and universal and mistake from nearly every single lady I have gone out or chatted with. One that I think really leads back to one of the evolutionary differences between men and women.


Men and women have two totally different evolutionary strategies for finding mates. Ones that are not interchangeable. Meaning a stategy that would work on one is more likely to have the opposite effect on the other. I'm not debating the validity of either strategy just commenting on the results.


Females are based on something called "preselection". That's where and why, women are inherently attracted to other women's mates. Espeacially if they consider the other woman to be more appealing then they are. Now, this is just inherent initial reaction. That's why when a woman/girl meets a potential date/mate, their first reaction is to show him to her friends to see if they find him acceptable as well. That's why most women will not leave there mate consistently alone with other women. Even if that woman is her trusted friend or sister. That's why women tend to feel like other women are out to get them or "take their man".

Males are based on territorialism. When we meet a female we are attracted to we don't care what our friends think. Hell, we will even avoid introducing them to our male friends, atleast untile we feel we have "locked her in". If some one is attractive to us and our male friends think she is ugly. We consider that a win!



Of course both of these things are our inate initial reactions. It's our subconscious first reaction, not our rationally planned out long term plan. :p and please don't think I'm saying that our entire relationships/marriages are solely based on this.

Ok, so now that I've set the scene, to.....


THE MISTAKE:

Every single woman I have dated lately has been single yet has strongly focused on other men and or their previous relationships. From their facebook profile to the first date. They (so far) always keep pictures of old boy friends in couple pictures on there profiles. As well as continually mention all the guys who are presently "auditioning" for their attention.

They seem to be attempting to say "hey look at all these other guys who want me, so that means you should too!" Well sorry ladies that's just not the way men are wired. At least for me that it a MAJOR turn off.

I don't want to hear about all the crutch sniffers at work won't leave you alone. I don't wanna hear about how your ex or (especially) that your baby daddy is constantly begging you to take him back. (Nothing against women with children hell I have an 11 year old daughter myself).

My personal (BS not scientific :p) theory is that it all goes back to preselection. Since women are inherently attracted to the mates of other attractive women, they assume a strategy that would probubally work on them. Meaning that if she saw you being pursued by a bunch of attractive women, that would make you more attractive to her. So she assumes her being pursued by a bunch of guys will make her more appealing to you.

But men just aren't wired that way.....

Attempting to make a man jealous to get or keep his attention is almost ALWAYS going to have a negative effect on your potential or lasting relationship. With guys we not only want to be the only one you want (I think that's universal). We also want to be the only one who wants you! Sure, it's totally unrealistic to to want others to not be attracted to your mate ( that's the territorialness in us), but it isn't exactly the most logical thing to inherently be attracted to what other women have either :p.


So to sum it up ladies. Jealousy doesn't work on men, at least not the way you want it too...

so where is the advice?
is it dont be jealous?

people are jealous. guys and gals. some more than others. nothing is going to change that

I think it is a natural human trait. I do completely agree with you that trying to make them jealous really usually doesn't work. Especially with a self confident man. I really noticed being self confident no matter how bad you look, can bring you a date.

My best friend in highschool was a woman. She modeled and got any guy she wanted. She used to tell me what she looked for and what to say or do etc. It was funny at the time but it worked. Stuff changes as you get older but I still notice being self confident goes a long way.

a reply to: Entreri06

I agree with pretty much everything you said.

And the OP is basically not saying "don't be jealous."

He's saying Don't try to appear like a better mate for us by how many other hot dudes you can be with or are..
It will have the opposite effect.

We don't care about that..
It's about YOU.

You're already hot. try to prove it, and I see insecurity.. I see danger.

a reply to: Entreri06

dating both genders

my advice for woman
play hard to get and loose the assumptions
yes guys are that simple

for man
be the alpha male amongsy other males
then tell her u want her babies

but that would only apply for a f/m when the other person is not really that into u

originally posted by: Mugly
so where is the advice?
is it dont be jealous?

people are jealous. guys and gals. some more than others. nothing is going to change that

I'm saying that just because jealousy might work on you, doesn't mean it would get the same reaction from some one else.


In fact I think most men would agree that an attemp to make you jealous would make you want to leave the relationship, not work harder at it...

I just drink Beer and fart alot..... Chics dig it!!
WooF

a reply to: Entreri06

When I did online dating it was working in terms of finding dates. At times Id have 3 dates a week...and being the gentleman I was id pay for everything the first date...as you can imagine by the end of the month I was spending close to 600 dollars a month on "first" dates plus whatever else on second dates etc.

I've always had a secure relationship with myself and never got into the jealousy stuff....I am rarely jealous if ever and that has oddly had the opposite affect at times. I've had ex's ask me why I don't care their ex messaged her. Because I don't care.

And I don't go for women who are "hard to get" ....Im usually really up front how I feel about someone and if I think they aren't interested I just move on.

I think you gotta find someone like you...if you are the jealous type then find a girl who is extremely open. When I date jealous women I keep all my accounts up on the computer so they can see who im talking to and what im saying...i leave my phone out so they can check texts. Sure fire well to tell if something is up is if they take their phone to the bathroom with them....every time they go to the bathroom.

Im just rambling...be single...its better that way.

a reply to: Entreri06


What op said has a ring of truth in my previous experience . One in particular that stands above the rest but when I think about it now ,also shared with others . I at first thought that she was crazy about me but later had to come to the conclusion that she was just plain crazy . Seemed the harder she applied the tactic the more I moved away from it . Later when she had a new guy she seemed to be trying to make me as a threat to their relationship . I even thought it right to spend some time with him and explain that although we "had" a relationship ,I concluded she was just not my type . I think I said something that although couples try to be on the same page that we were not even in the same book .

Too bad as I was attracted to her and we actually got along well at times . That may have also played a roll in dating sense then as well .One extreme case and you have a tendency to be a bit gun shy and any of the same traits popping up again with someone else kicks in the flight mode .No way I would ever want to go through that again .I would almost bet that people have died as a result of the desperation you can find yourself in . Thanks op as I will use this info to better understand the subtitles .

a reply to: Entreri06

purposely aiming to make someone jealous means the person is trying to regain control over the partner they feel they don't have a control over otherwise

I have some dating advice for women: Be a woman.

a reply to: Entreri06

Social proof, that's the ticket. I see you've done a lot of analyzing but you're not the only one. In fact, there's entire male communities dedicated to cracking the female code. It really is an enigma. So what's social proof? It's when a guy walks into an establishment and everyone knows him. Men and women. The theory behind this is used in a practical standpoint when like you said "a more attractive woman" is attracted to you and it tends to give you credibility thus triggering some kind of competitive state in a woman's mind to desire you.

Yeah, years ago when my live in girlfriend sent flowers to herself to make me jealous, it didn't work. Ya i got mad but it also wrecked our relationship. Doesn't work ladies, forget about it. Men, yuppers. Jealous women or even competitive women will absolutely go into a frenzy if they see a more attractive woman hit on their man or...suitor. In fact, competitive attractive women will compete over a man they don't even like him. Go figure? Why? because it comes down to this simple rule. Men love for sex and women have sex for love. Here's proof:

When a man cheats, the first things she asks is "do you love her" and when a woman cheats, he asks, "did you f#$% him"?

a reply to: Ashirah

lol

-/not u specificaly "//

what do u want from me as a woman

a reply to: FlySolo

woman don't compete for man amongst them selves .
i would say that is a male trait

if we compete it is because the man has a choice to have both of us

I shoud edit this this but
don't know how

I WANT TO ONLY CHAT ON MY BEHALF YET PLURAL IS REQUIRED
but I am not speaking on behalf of any other beautiful woman here

so ladies ignore me

a reply to: MimiSia

A la newt- I was mostly just kidding .. mostly.

a reply to: MimiSia

Depending on the age. My synopsis is based on the 20 year olds. 30 something is less concerned, 40 something is a whole different ball game. However, there are still some 40 y/o women I've met who are classic females falling into this category. The attention seekers.

a reply to: FlySolo

What is that, histrionics right?

a reply to: FlySolo

I am 28

my last was 45

age is irrelevant

//once again everybody I only want to chat on my behalf// hope that's cool with others


ok I read what u said
but don't understand the point u are trying to make
can you please clarify it for me?

a reply to: Ashirah

now u are like a chic
the guessing game is on I wasn't expecting a man being a mystery code

oh boy o boy

so let's decode your point and pretend u are talking to a ur mate

a reply to: FlySolo

I never could understand girlfriends hiding me from their friends..

And then she didn't..

Jesus lol. It's not like I'm hot even. Confidence though. Kills.

Actually the night I met my ex at a party 4 girls hit on me that night.. And I was WITH the one girl.. Her second best friend walked up to me in the kitchen and said and I quote:

"Do you think it's weird if I also like girls?" nope
"would you have sex with me?" yea, I would, but I'm not... (Ex saw that) I'm just blunt anyway..

"Then this other girl can you open dis?" k..
"do you think we have a soul?" What in the world? (too long but she tried to kiss me after a fake hug. )



Ever since that If I was at a bar or a party or something and all the sudden where's my gf.. She needs to be right here.. They're coming..