posted on May, 31 2015 @ 09:15 AM
I have been dating a lot lately, mainly offline but some Tinder and facebook stuff.
From said dating I have noticed a common and universal and mistake from nearly every single lady I have gone out or chatted with. One that I
think really leads back to one of the evolutionary differences between men and women.
Men and women have two totally different evolutionary strategies for finding mates. Ones that are not interchangeable. Meaning a stategy
that would work on one is more likely to have the opposite effect on the other. I'm not debating the validity of either strategy just commenting on
Females are based on something called "preselection". That's where and why, women are inherently attracted to other women's mates.
Espeacially if they consider the other woman to be more appealing then they are. Now, this is just inherent initial reaction. That's why when a
woman/girl meets a potential date/mate, their first reaction is to show him to her friends to see if they find him acceptable as well. That's why
most women will not leave there mate consistently alone with other women. Even if that woman is her trusted friend or sister. That's why women tend
to feel like other women are out to get them or "take their man".
Males are based on territorialism. When we meet a female we are attracted to we don't care what our friends think. Hell, we will even avoid
introducing them to our male friends, atleast untile we feel we have "locked her in". If some one is attractive to us and our male friends think she
is ugly. We consider that a win!
Of course both of these things are our inate initial reactions. It's our subconscious first reaction, not our rationally planned out long term
plan. :p and please don't think I'm saying that our entire relationships/marriages are solely based on this.
Ok, so now that I've set the scene, to.....
Every single woman I have dated lately has been single yet has strongly focused on other men and or their previous relationships. From their facebook
profile to the first date. They (so far) always keep pictures of old boy friends in couple pictures on there profiles. As well as continually mention
all the guys who are presently "auditioning" for their attention.
They seem to be attempting to say "hey look at all these other guys who want me, so that means you should too!" Well sorry ladies that's just
not the way men are wired. At least for me that it a MAJOR turn off.
I don't want to hear about all the crutch sniffers at work won't leave you alone. I don't wanna hear about how your ex or (especially) that
your baby daddy is constantly begging you to take him back. (Nothing against women with children hell I have an 11 year old daughter myself).
My personal (BS not scientific :p) theory is that it all goes back to preselection. Since women are inherently attracted to the mates of other
attractive women, they assume a strategy that would probubally work on them. Meaning that if she saw you being pursued by a bunch of attractive women,
that would make you more attractive to her. So she assumes her being pursued by a bunch of guys will make her more appealing to you.
But men just aren't wired that way.....
Attempting to make a man jealous to get or keep his attention is almost ALWAYS going to have a negative effect on your potential or lasting
relationship. With guys we not only want to be the only one you want (I think that's universal). We also want to be the only one who wants you! Sure,
it's totally unrealistic to to want others to not be attracted to your mate ( that's the territorialness in us), but it isn't exactly the most
logical thing to inherently be attracted to what other women have either :p.
So to sum it up ladies. Jealousy doesn't work on men, at least not the way you want it too...