need help! crazy housemate moved in :(

hi i`m emily

ive lived in this house for 3 years
i wouldnt say its a clean freak place but its not a mess and we keep it fairly tired

a new girl moved in today and within an hour she went to the kitchen started binning half our cutlery and plastic tubs WITHOUT EVEN ASKING US saying they are filthy

even my matches that were on the table she binned
she said `i cant live in a filthy house`
im sorry the kitchen was fine, it wasnt spotless but hardly filthy

i feel really awkward about this
its not like shes been here several days or weeks and seen nobody has bothered to clean up = then i would understand she is upset about the cleanliness

but to within an hour of moving in start bossing people around and throwing stuff out is absolutly uncalled for

the stuff she threw out is hardly stuff like old curries and old pizza boxes, its stuff like knives/forkes plastic tubes

how do i firmly say to her that yes i understand you want cleanliness but this is just uncalled for!

honestly, she moved in 9am this morning, by 10.15 half the stuff that was in the kitchen she had put in a plastic bag and thrown out!

i know i need to speak to her now rather than let it boil in me but how?

you need to tell her that if she doesn't want to live by your rules than she can move somewhere else, and try to negotiate

a reply to: confusedandaware

Geeeezzzz, don't you kids know anything?


Just suffer a couple weeks. She's trying to show you how important she is and how she will change your life. Believe me it won't be long until she assigns you those chores and then proceeds to focus on changing your life! Rotf



Edit;
If you love her I have two more pieces of advice for a happy relationship.

Learn these words they're very important, you don't even have to mean them you just have to say them.


"YES DEAR"

One of the most important lessons I can tell you on how to treat the woman you love. Is think of the following question before you open your mouth.

" Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?"

if you don't confront her now she might move on to your cupboard or your pantry

Tell her she shouldn't touch or throw out anything that she didn't buy.

a reply to: confusedandaware

You found a glitch in the posting system!

And ya I would say she has to first replace all that she threw away, and then needs to seriously rethink if she wants to live there.

No easy way, just do it.

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
if you don't confront her now she might move on to your cupboard or your pantry

how about something like look i`m not being funny or trying to be offensive but if you find it offensive thats not my problem but you are only being here a day andmaking us feel uncomfortable with an over the top clean out,
we appreciate the house wasnt perfect but the agressive way you have gone about it is not fair on us

i mean she isnt english she speaks english but wouldnt understand that
how can i firmly say it to her like that without sounding rude!

i do want to be firm, and i need to make it clear today that i am not going to stand for people being bossed around

originally posted by: IAMTAT
Tell her she shouldn't touch or throw out anything that she didn't buy.

she claims she threw out my matches and my plastic tubs because in her words THE KITCHEN IS FILTHY

but it really wasnt a dirty kitchen, trust me i ve seen dirty kitchens

am i right in saying that as being a tennant who has been here for 3 years and never had complaints from landlord about cleanliness here that i am in my right to be firm, and if she doesnt like it thats not my problem?

she should not be making us feel uncomfortable after one day

just tell her how you specifically want the place to be cleaned otherwise don't touch anything but I don't know if yall cook your own food then you have to clean the kitchen everytime not to mention sharing the laundry and washing bed sheets cleaning bathrooms

Just let her clean the place up like she wants and continue to let her clean it. You'll get a super clean house out of it.

But tell her if that's how she feels then it's her problem to fix and not yours. Don't let her boss you around or make you do it to please her. Tell her that everything was fine for you but if she needs to have it more clean then she can go ahead and clean it but leave you out of it.

She'll either end up cleaning up the place until she's satisfied and you'll have a super clean place or she'll get tired of doing it and she can move out. Either way you win.

How do two people have such poor writing composition? Is it just "kids today"?

a reply to: Atsbhct

Don't think there are kids.

What you mean by that?? Who said I talked funnie.

You not make sense.

a reply to: confusedandaware

Do you have any choice if she lives there or not? If so, and if she keeps it up, you might tell her it's not working out.

a reply to: mOjOm

i didnt mean you but honestly with the technology today grammar punctuation and capitalization should practically happen for you no one should have to try to pick apart a jumble of run on sentences with no semblance of language etiquette know what I mean Vern

a reply to: Atsbhct

I was just playing around.

That was hard to read BTW. So, ya, I guess I do know what you mean.

originally posted by: Atsbhct
How do two people have such poor writing composition? Is it just "kids today"?

" Yes dear"

Rotf

originally posted by: confusedandaware

originally posted by: IAMTAT
Tell her she shouldn't touch or throw out anything that she didn't buy.

she claims she threw out my matches and my plastic tubs because in her words THE KITCHEN IS FILTHY

but it really wasnt a dirty kitchen, trust me i ve seen dirty kitchens

am i right in saying that as being a tennant who has been here for 3 years and never had complaints from landlord about cleanliness here that i am in my right to be firm, and if she doesnt like it thats not my problem?

she should not be making us feel uncomfortable after one day

More information about the living arrangement would be helpful however a few things are clear:

No roommate has the right to dispose of another person's property.
The act of disposal without discussion and mutual acceptance is wrong and needs to be addressed.
The unilaterally disposed of material possessions need to be compensated for if not returned.

In short, if you are a in a position to request your newfound sociopath to leave, you should start now. No need to feel bad as the situation will only grow to make you more conflicted and uncomfortable.

IMHO

a reply to: Greathouse

You are obviously married or are in a long term relationship aren't you??

My father in law always tells me that the secret to being happily married is understanding the answer to this question: "Do you want to be Right, or do you want to be Happy??"

originally posted by: Atsbhct
How do two people have such poor writing composition? Is it just "kids today"?

What does this have to do with the question at hand? Did your comment in any-way contribute to the thread? How do you know the emotional situation of the OP? How do you know what the first language if the OP is? How do you know anything and why do you post potential vitriol as a comment?

…pedantic much?

originally posted by: mOjOm
a reply to: Greathouse

You are obviously married or are in a long term relationship aren't you??

My father in law always tells me that the secret to being happily married is understanding the answer to this question: "Do you want to be Right, or do you want to be Happy??"

Yes I am!!!!


And at one point what your father-in-law says will ring true.