A Question for Bi-curious Men

originally posted by: ExternalForces
a reply to: grainofsand

I don't know you, why would I believe everything you say? I'm not calling you a Lier but until I know you personally, assuming from where we are it may happen; I'll continue to believe as I wish. Doesn't mean I wish to ignore you, your responses are intriguing and want to know more.

That's cool, I've said my bit so I'll probably leave you to it now, I find misunderstanding between us and our perception of chronology in the thread, and there are no more comments I currently feel drawn toward adding here.

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: nonspecific

Hahaha you twat, I came out of the closet with my UKIP protest vote intentions in public!
Bull# arguments about people being bi or not, I'll be that dog with a bone if they have # all to back it up aside from opinion.
...only gay or straight? Lol, #ing dinosaur

Mate I can handle your support of UKIP, I can deal with that but if it turned out you were one of those homosexuals then I would have to draw a line in the sand.

Really? are people still doing this in 2004? hell in eight years niribu will destroy us all anyway?

rUK rules and homaphobia rocks.

a reply to: ExternalForces

Just noticed your reply to me.
Sexual, emotional are both different, but I have female friends who I have a deep emotional love for but don't wanna have sex with.
Perhaps you assume your own experiences and perception is the only one?
I don't know, or particularly care lol, have a good one, I'm away.

a reply to: nonspecific

An attraction has no gender dispute. Although if you were a respectable human admit that each relationship between males and females, males and males... Etc. begins with an emotional connection, from the moment interaction begins. This then leads to a physical or sexual connection.

a reply to: grainofsand

You are being blissfully ignorant and ignoring the questions asked in the original posts. To be honest, if you didn't care you wouldn't have responded in the first place.

a reply to: ExternalForces

Absolute rubbish. It's different for everyone.
I've met girls before now and from the first look in each others eyes we both knew we wanted each other sexually, and quickly made that happen.
Don't assume the world is your world fella.

a reply to: ExternalForces

Nope, I responded solely because the 'other' member stated that there was only gay or straight.
He/she was of course talking a load of bull# but hey.

a reply to: nonspecific

Homophobia is down right proof a man is uncomfortable with his sexuality.

a reply to: grainofsand

You were still reading the thread, which shows interest... I honestly don't know what you're trying to get at but it's not working!

a reply to: ExternalForces

Please do quote the posts of mine which you are struggling to understand. I am always happy to help others and rephrase my comments in a simpler style.
Oh, and I am interested as far as you continue to amuse me.
No more, no less.

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: ExternalForces

Nope, I responded solely because the 'other' member stated that there was only gay or straight.
He/she was of course talking a load of bull# but hey.

How am I talking bs? By definition a person engaging in sex with the same gender is gay.

Be honest your just looking to argue to see if I say something negative about gays, right?

a reply to: grainofsand

I'm not here for your amusement. Goodbye sir.

a reply to: grainofsand

A struggle? Please, no struggle. I'm pretty confident in everything that I've told you and sticking with that response! Although, you still pertain to be very interesting. Straight or not.

a reply to: thesaneone

Oh dear, you clearly only see the world as your world lol, I'm out as well.
I've quoted you enough times so you can't backtrack now.
I am satisfied enough to leave you guys to your bisexual scrutiny thread now.

a reply to: grainofsand

Wow. You're lost bro.

a reply to: grainofsand

I'm not backtracking anything.

Nice to see that your true intentions were to troll the op.

a reply to: grainofsand

You honestly think I don't know what's happening in the world? I've done research. Want a paper about it? Or don't want things revealed? I'm not here to argue or fight. I find it disrespectful you would think I'm scrutinizing bisexuals when I clearly have an attraction to the same sex. By all means, be with who you want. I don't know you. At least, not yet.

Two takeaways from this riveting discussion:

1. Mr. grainofsand is either having a bad day or is genuinely a bit of a jerk.

2. This female never wants to read "a mouth is a mouth" ever again.

Good day, sirs.

I actually went the opposite way - that is I was always gay, and then something happened with a woman which made me question whether I was bisexual.
In fact, it's still somewhat open-ended.

Without going into too much detail, I connected with very old friends (who all knew I was gay) and this one lady told me she always had a crush on me.
One night I was out with a straight married buddy, and we made a turn at a late night bar, and there she was.
It didn't take long before she was on my lap, and we really hit it off.
It was so weird kissing and fondling in the open like that, and nobody even looked twice, or batted an eyelash.
Although gays have constitutional rights in SA, society is still very conservative, and two men kissing in public like I kissed her would certainly have gotten us kicked out.
Something similar happened again, although we've never taken it to the final base in private.
Was it more of a performance or just for kicks?
Neither of us have pursued it further, but it could happen again.
I've also always wondered whether a mutual fetish can transcend sexual orientation.
Suffice to say I don't fantasize about women, and I'm not sure either of us see a future here, but I can "love" a woman, so in that sense I consider my bisexual.

However, if I thought being into a woman made me more socially acceptable, I was sorely mistaken.
"Biphobia", and people no longer being sure of what you are is very real.
I haven't seen my married female friends, and I think their husbands are now concerned, and even a buddy can't hang with me alone because the wife thinks I like him, because she somehow became aware of bisexual potential in men.

"Biphobia" is also very real in how literature and film is discussed.
I mean "Brokeback Mountain" is bisexual love story, yet it's hardly described as such.
Maybe if the protagonists were African American or Latin American they would have been called on the "down-low" (a form of bisexuality that is often seen as cheating and connected to HIV, but because they are white in the movie they are seen as sympathetic "gays" who cannot escape the closet).
Similarly in South Africa a lot of sociological and anthropological research claims that black and colored males form couples where only the feminine male partner is considered "gay", and the masculine partner is identified as "straight" (whatever his orientation might be; society regards him as "straight").
Thus these roles, and who is labeled as what, can also be cultural.
Not everyone follows the strict confines of the egalitarian Western gay movement.

I can say that although I still have some gay friends, I've been removed from gay club-land for a long time, and it's geographically far away too.
However one does bump into bisexual men occasionally.
Because people are wary of HIV, the issue of penetration isn't important, and they just like to fool around.
I never liked the whole penetration issue much either.
However, one cannot have a relationship with such guys, and when they have a girlfriend they don't want to know me much, and I don't mind discretion.
They do not want to be read as "gay".

Well, that's my male experience, which is less in the open than bisexuality for women.

a reply to: TruthLover557

Thanks for the lol