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I really want to hesitate labelling narcissists, because it seems to have become such a fad - anyone you are mad at is now a narcissist. How can you be sure that your anger that they aren't respecting or treating you as you want them to, isn't a product of your own narcissism?
She even did her thesis on Narcissism. It really doesn't fix anything once you become so consciously aware of your hang ups and internal struggles. Not behaviorally. You just become able to recognize it when it happens. But it still happens.
He is actually surprised if anyone would have any doubt about his superiority- even though he stinks to high heaven, carries bed bugs, has been wearing the same filthy bad fitting suit he got from a thrift shop ten years ago, sleeps on benches, gobbles up oxy, and steals from anyone that comes near him.
Mom just refused to touch any of us after her "changing point". I mean, could not physically touch us, not with affection, not put a hand on our shoulder. She didn't call or keep in touch. I actually am not sure which is better- negative contact, or no contact at all?
I have no hope for studying psychology or psychoanalysis, except as an interesting hobby. My son seems to have higher hopes, he went back to school and is studying psychology now. But I am jaded. I think that seeing the problems we have with ourself and learning to love ourselves anyway, with those problems, allows us to accept those problems in others and not be bitter or resentful. We are all imperfect beings, we all have our hang ups, and deep and complicated reasons for them.
originally posted by: Astrocyte
Change the input and you can change the stock. "Stock" here means our state of mind at any moment; you can also think of it as our "ego" (in the psychoanalytic sense). Output is what we feel and how we act.
That's horrible. But do you feel compassion for him?
It sounds like your brother had a hectic and disturbing upbringing.
That's rough. If it means anything to you, you're willingness to engage in conversation about this is a positive step in the right direction.
There's great wisdom in eastern thinking in the idea of the impermanence of feelings and perceptions. We are good, I believe, at root. But we can only honor our goodness by acknowledging the deleterious impact of our badness on others and on ourselves. You need to forgive yourself, your mother, and the long chain of abuse/violence that makes true-self transformation so difficult for us.
Well I wish you luck with that, and that you prove me wrong.
Talk talk and more talk, without any holding back is pretty much the rule of the household of psychologists and psychoanalysts. Nothing is taboo. (which sort of made me not well adapted to some social circumstance because I am no good at being discrete on private subjects either my own or others'.
Does it change much in my patterns of thought and behavior? Not really.
It changes my internal, subjective view of myself and others- the actual events continue to play out.
originally posted by: Astrocyte
This isn't possible. When we aren't "succeeding" in what we want, were probably not attending to the matter in the right way. For example, what you're saying i
originally posted by: Bluesma
Well, this is an old thread.... but I appreciate someone bringing it up again, so I could read the dialogue I had had at the time.
Synchronicity is awesome. I've gotten to another one of my burnout phases, where trying to please too many people, do too much, has left me empty and exhausted.
It did me good to reread some of my own advice and recognize old patterns.