This Woman

originally posted by: randyvs
a reply to: CirqueDeTruth

She sounds bitter and lonely. I hope she works her stuff out. Is she pretty set in her ways?

No Cirque there's nothing pretty about her. And she picks her personality
daily. She can cook and sometimes can be the sweetest person. the
next day make you regret every nice thing yousaid about her. By
revealing her intent behind her sweetness. One soon finds out that is
her only MO. Herself.

You can't very easily tell your wife who her friends can or can't be can you? Not without a wicked tongue lashing coming and possible whipping coming your way - I suspect.

No I could get away with it with out the whipping if I chose.
I just respect my wife enough not to choose that. I've even said
such things but with no enforcement behind it.

As we all know in our heart of hearts, people have been through some bizarre stuff and pain in their life, and that contributes to their emotional state and behavior. The way she treats people, is very likely the way one of her parents treated her. You know, to get some perspective and empathy. That's if she is set in her way. If her behavior is from the pain of divorce, mistrust, paranoia, or some other emotional trauma - well she should be in therapy.

Indeed, this is what will most likely keep us putting ourselves
in the belly of the calf so to speak. I have never been someone
who can totally crush another person. I'm just not built like that.

Thanks Cirque

You are obviously a very good kind hearted caring man.

You need one of your buddies that is a little more "john Wayne" to come over and interact with her I think.

It is my experience a "good old fashioned whooping" be it physical or verbal tends to right many wrongs in this world.

Good on you for knowing better than to try and tell your better half who she can and can't be around, that always ends badly.

She is probably, judging from what you have written, like yourself.

Just too kind hearted to do or say what needs done and saying to this lady.

The world needs all kinds, kind hearts and butt whoppers.

There is no single "true" path.

We all have our own methods that seek our own ends.

You seem like a pretty wise fellow.

I would have made an ass of myself long sense, while you are still grinning and baring it.

Good on you, says a lot about your personality.

Good luck Randy, I hope this situation is resolved to the betterment of all envolved.

a reply to: lizziejayne

I have often thought of recording her. And value your insight
to taking it one step further. But if done with her knowledge
I don't doubt she would repress her most nasty parts. But she
could never repress them all.

This might work and be of great bennies. If it didn't backfire.
to be considered

a reply to: randyvs

Unfortunately, I think there's always a risk when you hold a mirror up to someone's face.

That said, an honest conversation - however tactful & considerate - can always be denied, rationalized or cause offense, if someone doesn't like (or recognise) what they hear.

At least with a recording, the evidence is undeniable.

Plus, you won't have to have a very difficult discussion. Nor will you have to shoulder any "blame", as your intention was simply to record a family film & her inclusion is a recognition of her status of close family friend.

Personally, I believe you'll be doing this lady a favour. Clearly others have bowed out of her life without explaining their reasons. This gives her an opportunity to face at least some of her undesirable behaviours and work on them for her own betterment

a reply to: johnwick

And thank you wick. It's your kind of humor that keeps me from
crushing people like this. In the way I am very capable of doing.
I just see that as to easy I guess.

Good health to you and yours.

a reply to: lizziejayne

Personally, I believe you'll be doing this lady a favour. Clearly others have bowed out of her life without explaining their reasons. This gives her an opportunity to face at least some of her undesirable behaviours and work on them for her own betterment

I'll bedamned and as the saying goes, " Well when you put it that way".

This is a really solid attempt at truly being her friend. My wife will read this.
Thank you Lizzie!

a reply to: randyvs

Happy to help my friend - I hope whatever path you choose goes well

You & your wife seem like decent people - this lady is fortunate to have friends who consider their actions in response to her, rather than disappearing into the ether & leaving her continue her steamroller mission in ignorant bliss.

If you do go the film route, let me know how it goes!

My first ever double post! Woohoo

a reply to: lizziejayne

If you do go the film route, let me know how it goes!

My wife is all for going forward with this and you can consider
yourself completely involved now. LOL as sinister as that may sound,
it only indicates you will be informed as per the results. You can bet
on it.

originally posted by: lizziejayne
My first ever double post! Woohoo

Right here!

On A.....T......S!

Well, if the situation needs to be a bit entertaining (which I wouldn't advise), why not get or innovate some costumes, and when she pitches again tell her you and your wife have converted to a strict version of Islam.

No more board-games, and no more booze.

No strange adult females in the house, unless she wants to become your second wife.
(OK, that's a bit risky.)

Add that you have new friends now, and cannot hang with infidels.

Then slam the door with an Arabic-sounding curse.

a reply to: randyvs

My wife is all for going forward with this and you can consider
yourself completely involved now.

Oh heck! *deletes account*

Nah, seriously, I hope it works for you man. I really think it will - it's all on a good note (good family friend & inclusion in a family video) and any lessons will be hers to observe & learn.

I'm rooting for you

originally posted by: halfoldman
Well, if the situation needs to be a bit entertaining (which I wouldn't advise), why not get or innovate some costumes, and when she pitches again tell her you and your wife have converted to a strict version of Islam.

No more board-games, and no more booze.

No strange adult females in the house, unless she wants to become your second wife.
(OK, that's a bit risky.)

Add that you have new friends now, and cannot hang with infidels.

Then slam the door with an Arabic-sounding curse.

No more board-games, and no more booze.

Hysterical and almost embarrassing when I see it written by someone else.
But, that's Jazzy. And randeviously deceptive.
I'll put this one on the back burner Half.

a reply to: randyvs

What you need to do, is get yourself a tazer, a very firm utilitarian chair, zip ties, some angle brackets, stout screws, and 24 hour access to a storage facility or warehouse, preferably an abandoned one outside of town, and a visual display unit of some sort. Then you and your wife need to record a video each, explaining to this awful cow, exactly what you think of her, and how her behaviour makes you feel.

When you have assembled this collection of preparatory gear, you need to do the following. Tazer the crazy git when she walks into your place, zip tie her and gag her, throw her in the car along with the equipment I mentioned earlier, and drive out to your location. Bolt the chair to the ground, using the angle brackets and screws, perhaps some chemical anchor as well if she's firmly constructed, and place her in it, using more zip ties.

Next, place the visual display equipment in front of her, and press play. Sit behind her the entire time, just to the left or right, just to really put the wind up her. When the videos are both done, play the videos again. And again. You might want to bring enough food with you, that you can have a snack during the process. Play the tape until all she does is cries, or becomes silent. Taze her unconscious, put her back in the car, delete the video file from whatever it is stored on, and destroy the storage medium as well. This will need to be crushed and then burned, in that order. Take her to her home, take the gag off her, and take off the ties. Drive out to a second preprepared location, and burn all the stuff you used. The gag, the ties, the chair, anything that would have probative physical evidence on it, everything. Some of the stuff should probably be chopped, ground, or smashed up before burning it, just to ensure the job is done adequately.

If nothing else, it will give her something to be a total cow about in the future, and you won't feel that her expression of her attitude problem Is unjustified anymore, and on the upside, she might just learn that she cannot crap on people without consequences.

Or, you know, explain to your wife that the best thing you could do to help that woman, is to ensure that she never has the opportunity to effect your lives one bit, since doing so feeds her psychosis and will not result in an improvement in either her life, or yours.

Personally, I favour the Clockwork Orange approach, but the other thing is probably a goer as well!

well i have had a chance to read everyone's suggestions, and i think crazyeed's is the least confrontational and possibly the most effective if you don't wish to actually modify her behavior.

crazyeed's suggestion
www.abovetopsecret.com...

however, if you feel she's worth the effort to "fix", then i agree with the fellow who said : film her with your family and then invite her to a viewing of it. although i'm not sure that would be effective if she's vain at all, cause then she would be more preoccupied with those details such as her double chin, if she has one, or fat butt, if she has one, and so on, perhaps so preoccupied she wouldn't even notice her behavior. might not be worth the effort. come to think about it, crazyeed's suggestion is probably best.

i wouldn't suggest truebrit's idea. hehehe. (think he needs to write for a living with that imagination!)

a reply to: TrueBrit

Bolt the chair to the ground,

At this point I paused and brought my wife in so she could
see a perfect example what I deem appropriate course of
actions that could be considered. My wife said you sound
just like me in the extreme. Thanks to you Brit my wife
understands me a lil better now.

a reply to: randyvs


Heh! Glad to be of service!

Sometimes it is necessary to be utterly honest with people about how actions of others make you feel. It is not unreasonable to feel like doing some deeply unreasonable things every now and again! The issues begin to pile up however, when one starts actually going about them.

All I know is, that I feel your pain here, because I have encountered variations on this mindset before, and it has never availed me of any joy what so ever.

I would show that buffoon the door so fast it would make her head swim!

Actually, I've done it. You approach the person in a friendly way, smile, and say "Come here, I want to show you something." They follow on your heels, and you lead them straight to the door, which you open, motion for them to exit, and say "you have a good day". Close door. Game over.

Good luck Randy. Seriously. By the way, I laughed all through the OP, even though I felt your pain!

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

Actually, I've done it. You approach the person in a friendly way, smile, and say "Come here, I want to show you something." They follow on your heels, and you lead them straight to the door, which you open, motion for them to exit, and say "you have a good day". Close door. Game over.

My lady, you make that sound so easy. And knowing it is just that easy only
confuses me further.

originally posted by: randyvs
a reply to: ladyinwaiting

Actually, I've done it. You approach the person in a friendly way, smile, and say "Come here, I want to show you something." They follow on your heels, and you lead them straight to the door, which you open, motion for them to exit, and say "you have a good day". Close door. Game over.

My lady, you make that sound so easy. And knowing it is just that easy only
confuses me further.

Yeah, well, I might have made it sound a wee bit easier than it actually is. lol!

What REALLY happens, is when they realize you are ' showing them the door', they want to know why. Dammit! Why do they have to ask that? It would be so perfect otherwise. lol! So you have to tell them why and junk. So, yeah, don't try it. It does work though, in the long run. Just not as smoothly and problem free as I have rather pretentiously implied.

Sigh. Yep, I recommend going with Brit's suggestion.

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

Your honesty has me grinning. And I would bet that Brit
has a bit of a knack for applying his suggested undertaking
of the reins, if you will?

Sigh. Yep, I recommend going with Brit's suggestion.