Serious Question: Why are so Many People Afraid/Unaccepting of Transgender People?

a reply to: kaylaluv

And I told you that I had done so, spent years at it.

I have also spent a long time as an RPG player tabletop. I've played men, women, and even tried playing people of other sexualities and races. Heck, I even played a quadrupedal creature and psionic worm.

But it comes back to the fact that in the end, you have to be happy being you, and if that's true, then what you look like, what you are doesn't matter as much.

originally posted by: theabsolutetruth


Children should be taught to accept the bodies and minds they are born with, that is the basis of non discrimination and self healing.

People have been doing that for years - why do you think the suicide rate of transgenders is so high? It doesn't work.

a reply to: ketsuko

That's basically the exact same argument that cropped up when pink clothing for men hit the market years ago, that guys wearing such a girly color would make others uncomfortable & employees wearing them would drive away clientele, interviews would go bust because of the femmy look, etc.

I think it's high time to realize that like with pink v-necks & polo shirts, clothes are just clothes. We're all still naked as hell under them.

Edit: And a kilt by any other name is still a freakin' skirt.

originally posted by: ketsuko

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Xtrozero
1. Being a heterosexual male, I do not fine the male physical body sexually attractive in the least bit. I think my view is somewhat of the norm for most heterosexual males, so to think of a person who is physically male that might be attracted to me is not something I would want to experience. This could help create the divide that you speak of.

Ya know what - - many (maybe most) heterosexual women do not find the male physical body sexually attractive either.

Just like men, women have preferences. Some like tall slender men, some like androgynous (ick), my preference is "solid on the ground mountain men types".

Just to look at visually, I'd rather look at a female body - - they're just prettier, like a work of art.

My point is, there is a lot more going on in everyone's brain when it comes to sexuality then some want to acknowledge.

There's some contradiction going on in there.

If you don't find the male physical body attractive, why are you attracted "solid on the ground mountain men?"

I think instead of not finding males attractive, you are simply have your types just like everyone else. It might surprise you to find that not all men automatically find all women attractive either. Some like 'em curvy and other prefer the legs, etc. Does that mean they don't find the female physical body attractive because they have preferences for it being put together in certain ways?

My point is - - - I'm attracted to what my brain is telling me - - not a physical form because its opposite sex male.

I am 5'8" and thin (or was ). A lot of people have asked me if I was from New York because I had a sophisticated look. (SOCA beach born and bred).

Pairing me with what I'm attracted to in a male - - doesn't make much sense. But, my brain thinks it does.

I think we are finding out the brain has a lot more to do with sexuality then once thought.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: kaylaluv


But it comes back to the fact that in the end, you have to be happy being you, and if that's true, then what you look like, what you are doesn't matter as much.

Prove it. Have a sex change operation and start taking male hormones. Then come back and tell me that you are just as happy as you were before. Then I will admit I'm wrong.

a reply to: Nyiah

And a kilt by any other name is still a freakin' skirt.

Heresy !!

originally posted by: CranialSponge
a reply to: Nyiah

And a kilt by any other name is still a freakin' skirt.

Heresy !!

Oh, don't get me wrong, nothing sexier than Sean Connery in a kilt He'd still be sexy in any kind of skirt, though.

originally posted by: aethertek
What I'd like to know is, why every time this discussion comes up those that are opposed to "gender" equality always use the phrase "shoved in our face, shoved down our throat".

Hello, paging Dr Freud, Dr Sigmund Freud please report to the discussion.

Oh & in reply to the OP, it's ignorance & hubris, but pay no mind to the reactionaries, progress will proceed.

K~

Sorry to disappoint but , I'm a lesbian and I don't care for the habit of sexuality being shoved in my face all the time. I'm all for equality but I will let you in on a little secret. I am person that just happens to be a lesbian. My life is not defined by who I sleep with. It is just part of who I am, not the totality of who I am. I don't care who anyone sleeps with. I don't care who is straight, gay, lesbian or transgender but, I still don't want to constantly have sex of ANY type shoved in my face or down my throat. It has become an almost constant barrage of sex, sex sex and I am tired of it.

originally posted by: kaylaluv

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: kaylaluv


But it comes back to the fact that in the end, you have to be happy being you, and if that's true, then what you look like, what you are doesn't matter as much.

Prove it. Have a sex change operation and start taking male hormones. Then come back and tell me that you are just as happy as you were before. Then I will admit I'm wrong.

Why?

originally posted by: Khaleesi
My life is not defined by who I sleep with. It is just part of who I am, not the totality of who I am.

You do realize that is where we are trying to get to.

The only way to do that is awareness and then acceptance.

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Khaleesi
My life is not defined by who I sleep with. It is just part of who I am, not the totality of who I am.

You do realize that is where we are trying to get to.

The only way to do that is awareness and then acceptance.

No, the only way to do that is to treat people with respect and not dig into their personal lives. I don't need to be aware or accept your sexuality to treat you with respect.

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Khaleesi
My life is not defined by who I sleep with. It is just part of who I am, not the totality of who I am.

You do realize that is where we are trying to get to.

The only way to do that is awareness and then acceptance.

That's true on the level of the personal. But it's not enough for you to keep it on the level of the personal. You have to force everyone else to accept it too. And beyond that approve of it.

The best you can hope for is tolerance.

If you were really at the point described above - my life is not defined by who I sleep with. Then what anyone else thought about it would not matter and you wouldn't care what anyone else thought and thus WOULD NOT NEED to force the rest of the world to accept it and approve of it.

People don't want to accept people who are different than they are. It's small-minded busy-bodies for the most part. Most people are content to live their lives and accept differences in others. Some are unable to do that, and some are just too narrow-minded and can't see past their own beliefs and feelings. They lack empathy.

a reply to: ketsuko

Why not?

a reply to: Khaleesi

Do you think you should keep your sexuality a secret? That you should never ever mention your girlfriend/wife/significant other in conversations with co-workers? That you should never bring your girlfriend/wife/significant other to social functions along with other couples? Because that's the only way to totally keep your sexuality a secret.

originally posted by: kaylaluv
a reply to: Khaleesi

Do you think you should keep your sexuality a secret? That you should never ever mention your girlfriend/wife/significant other in conversations with co-workers? That you should never bring your girlfriend/wife/significant other to social functions along with other couples? Because that's the only way to totally keep your sexuality a secret.

No, I do not. I also don't feel the need to shout it constantly from the roof tops. As I said, it is part of me, not my totality. I never said I believe anyone should keep it a secret. I just find people suspect that feel the need to announce it every 5 minutes.

originally posted by: ketsuko

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Khaleesi
My life is not defined by who I sleep with. It is just part of who I am, not the totality of who I am.

You do realize that is where we are trying to get to.

The only way to do that is awareness and then acceptance.

That's true on the level of the personal. But it's not enough for you to keep it on the level of the personal. You have to force everyone else to accept it too. And beyond that approve of it.

The best you can hope for is tolerance.

If you were really at the point described above - my life is not defined by who I sleep with. Then what anyone else thought about it would not matter and you wouldn't care what anyone else thought and thus WOULD NOT NEED to force the rest of the world to accept it and approve of it.

You did not answer the question whether you support The Civil Rights Act and the Disability Act.

a reply to: honested3

Well now you know how an alien from outer space would feel if it showed up on Earth. How it would get treated. The whole idea is just so alien people just can not get a handle on it. I am my self a little put off by the idea that I might run into a hot chick that ends up having a bigger 'package' than I do. People just have a hard time dealing with anything that is different that what they are use to. It time it will be a normal everyday thing but it takes time. As to how much time that is hard to say.

a reply to: kaylaluv

The rate of confused that thinks themselves transgender has probably increased since it was put out there as a 'thing' instead of GID and those suffering from it being pressurised into feeling different and into having major invasive surgery that only changes superficial physical aspects and is probably traumatic. Forcing those suffering a neurological condition such as GID into ugly subcultures only compounds their issues, similarly for those suffering sexual orientation issues that bought into the idea of being ''transgender''. The real solution is recognising it is neurological and acceptence of themselves as the mixture that they are.

waltheyer.typepad.com... ml

20% regret changing genders, over 40% attempt suicide, and even after surgery a large number remain traumatized
Hoping to have success with sex change surgery is like Russian roulette. You could be the lucky one, but reports show the risks are high and death is a strong possibility.

For 35 years serious questions have been raised about the overall long term success of changing genders.

Today we look at a report from The Guardian (UK) from July 2004 that included a review of more than 100 international medical studies of post-operative transgenders by the University of Birmingham aggressive research intelligence facility. They found "no robust scientific evidence that gender reassignment surgery is clinically effective." Seeing that they reviewed not just one study but 100 international studies makes this report alarming.

In my view, this shows that failure comes all too often for transgenders and it is so unnecessary. The Guardian reports:

After gender reassignment, there's still a large number of people who had the surgery but remain traumatized - often to the point of committing suicide.
Research from the US and Holland suggests that up to a fifth (20%) of patients regret changing sex. www.theguardian.com...
Thirty-five years ago, in 1979, uncertainty about gender change success was surfacing. At Johns Hopkins Hospital concerns about the reported success rates of changing genders and whether Dr. Money had been falsifying the reports of sex change success prompted a review. Dr. Paul Mc Hugh commissioned Dr. Meyer to study post-operative transsexuals from the Johns Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic program. Dr. Meyer's results were far different than Money’s reports of success a decade earlier and also validated the concerns regarding Dr. Money and his reports. Dr. Meyer said, “To say that this type of surgery cures psychiatric disturbance is incorrect.” As a result of studying the results of Hopkins patients, Hopkins closed its gender clinic and university-based gender clinics around the country began to close. www.baltimorestyle.com...

Also in 1979, Dr. Ihlenfeld, a former associate of Dr. Harry Benjamin, told an audience extreme care should be given in using cross gender hormones because 80% of patents who want to change their sex shouldn't do it. "There is too much unhappiness among people who have had the surgery," he said. "Too many of them end as suicides." lvtgw.jadephoenix.org...

Madeline Wyndzen, a transgendered psychology professor, writes, "50% of transgenders could be struggling with suicide attempts, regret, anger and unhappiness living in a transgender sub-culture rather than being part of the larger world.” www.genderpsychology.org...

I say it is important to take every precaution prior to surgery to avoid regret.

Injustice at Every Turn: A Report of the National Transgender Discrimination Survey says a staggering 41% of transgenders surveyed report they have attempted suicide and that those who have medically transitioned and surgically transitioned have higher rates of attempted suicide than the general population. Ttransgenders have higher rate of HIV infections. They are more prone to heavy drinking and the use of drugs. They have high rates of homelessness, unemployment and extreme poverty, even more so in the more difficult economic times of the last 5 years. www.thetaskforce.org...

www.theguardian.com...

Sex changes are not effective, say researchers

There is no conclusive evidence that sex change operations improve the lives of transsexuals, with many people remaining severely distressed and even suicidal after the operation, according to a medical review conducted exclusively for Guardian Weekend tomorrow.

The review of more than 100 international medical studies of post-operative transsexuals by the University of Birmingham's aggressive research intelligence facility (Arif) found no robust scientific evidence that gender reassignment surgery is clinically effective.

The Guardian asked Arif to conduct the review after speaking to several people who regret changing gender or believe that the medical care they received failed to prepare them for their new lives. They explain why they are unhappy with their sex change and how they cope with the consequences in the Weekend magazine tomorrow (July 31).

Chris Hyde, the director of Arif, said: "There is a huge uncertainty over whether changing someone's sex is a good or a bad thing. While no doubt great care is taken to ensure that appropriate patients undergo gender reassignment, there's still a large number of people who have the surgery but remain traumatised - often to the point of committing suicide."

Arif, which advises the NHS in the West Midlands about the evidence base of healthcare treatments, found that most of the medical research on gender reassignment was poorly designed, which skewed the results to suggest that sex change operations are beneficial.

originally posted by: Khaleesi

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Khaleesi
My life is not defined by who I sleep with. It is just part of who I am, not the totality of who I am.

You do realize that is where we are trying to get to.

The only way to do that is awareness and then acceptance.

No, the only way to do that is to treat people with respect and not dig into their personal lives. I don't need to be aware or accept your sexuality to treat you with respect.

Tell that to the Right Wing Fundamental Christian political machine legislating against your "invisible" difference.

Respect is earned. Sometimes it requires a loud voice and awareness.