It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Canadians please:) Section 43

page: 3
0
<< 1  2   >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Dec, 24 2004 @ 10:04 AM
link   

Originally posted by Janus
HeHe my Wife is Half-Irish and has flaming red hair and a temper to match,


May God help you man
I send my best wishes in regards to your sanity




posted on Dec, 24 2004 @ 10:18 AM
link   
Cough; cough what is this about the Irish? I will have you know the only reason why God let the Irish invent whisky is because if he did not they would have taken over the world.


Im so Irish its titanic,

Belly to belly Belfast as my dad used to say.



[edit on 24/12/2004 by Sauron]



posted on Dec, 24 2004 @ 10:38 AM
link   

Originally posted by intrepid
I agree Deep but corporal punishment has had it's usefulness spent by the time the kids get to school age.


I pretty much agree here but its usful for a couple more years IMO. About 9-10 is about the latest. My baby is 6'2" and can brake coconuts and cemont blocks with his fists so there hasnt been many spankings handed out lately.....LOL

If you dont have a good realationship by around 9-10 its almost impossible after that point. In other words if you have done your job right its not needed much past the begining of grade school, and if not it wont do much good.



posted on Dec, 24 2004 @ 10:45 AM
link   
whatever happened to positive reinforcement?

You don't train a dog by yelling at it and hitting it and you certainly don't teach a child by hitting or yelling...


There is such a thing called positive reinforcement...


The apple doesn't fall from the tree and don't forget the saying monkey see monkey doo... And these are kids so if they take that to the playground, it's because of your bad parenting skills... You taught them, they mirrored.... They physically reacted to another child because they didn't like what they did or said...

Tolerance and humility needs to be learned, the first human instinct to come out is violence (hitting) once you get beyond your first instinct i'm sure you children will learn that too...



posted on Dec, 24 2004 @ 11:15 AM
link   
1. Not all children need to be spanked. If a child can be reasoned with or persuaded, then talking and verbal reproach should be used.

2. Spanking should not be the primary form of discipline in any case.

3. We have a paddle, slightly larger than a ping pong paddle, hanging behind a door (where their friends won't see it). It is the only thing we use to spank with. Frau Dr. uses hand sometimes. I either go and get the paddle or don't use spanking at all.

4. Kids only spanked after they have been warned, and refused to change. They have to know it's wrong before they are punished.

5. After spanking, they get a hug IF they want one. I always tell them that I love them, and if they can think of another way to get them to behave, then I am open to it.

Mommy almost never spanks, and threatens that I will: "If Daddy finds out, he'll spank you." I hate that! On the other hand, when we show up at the babysitter's to pick them up, they come running to ME.

My kids get excellent complements on their behavior from school, baby sitters, and all else. My youngest didn't start hitting until he picked it up at parents' day out (he learned it from an unspanked child, of course.) I have had workers at day care centers ask if we NEEDED a babysitter, and offer to keep them on weekends if needed. My kids always help clean up, and shush the other kids who are talking over the adults.

I DO spank; I also spend a couple of hours with my kids each day, and at least an hour of 1 on 1 time, 3 times a week. It's in my day planner. Frau Dr. thinks its because I'm a wonderful father. It's actually because I love trains and dolls, blocks and dishes!!!!

I think the real forms of abuse come not only from physical, but emotional trauma
1. Having unreal expectations
2. Refusing to see the kid as an individual
3. Refusing to invest time in the kid (tells her she doesn't rate in your life.)
4. Treating the kid as a duty instead of as a gift from GOD.
5. Failing to model and teach self-control (used to be called discipline).

and the biggie for generation X:

Acting like a buddy, instead of acting like a parent.



posted on Dec, 24 2004 @ 11:19 AM
link   
I should mention that I got spanked by my mom... My dad never did it...


And who do I feel more close to and think is the better parent/person??

My dad...

Much more respect for him, glad he taught me with WORDS and not with physical punishment...




[edit on 24-12-2004 by TrueLies]



posted on Dec, 25 2004 @ 03:00 AM
link   
TL
You were just too cute for your daddy to get that mad at you.
Admit it. My daughter played the same game with me, as do daughters the world over.

Seriously, I can't think of anything more cowardly than a man hitting a little girl. Any man that does it should have his hands broken, and I'd be happy to be the hammer that does it.

Oddly enough, it seems that it s more acceptable for a mother to hit a daughter, but that is a totally different dynamic at work there. One that I do not even pretend to understand.



[edit on 25-12-2004 by jsobecky]



posted on Dec, 26 2004 @ 07:50 AM
link   

Originally posted by dr_strangecraft


Acting like a buddy, instead of acting like a parent.




I think this is the single biggest problem for parents to understand today. It might have something to do with the fact that parents in todays society are getting much younger. Its not uncommon anymore for there to only be a 14 or 15 year difference in the ages of the child and the parent. The younger the parent, the less likley the parent will understand the difference about being a friend or being a parent.



posted on Dec, 26 2004 @ 10:58 AM
link   

Originally posted by Kidfinger
It might have something to do with the fact that parents in todays society are getting much younger. Its not uncommon anymore for there to only be a 14 or 15 year difference in the ages of the child and the parent.


I dont have any figures on this but I think the average age of first time parents would be going UP not down. During my Grandparents time a married girl with a kid or one on the way at 12 was not uncommon. My grandmother was married at 12 and my mother at 16, in the South at least this was not odd at all back then and futher back, in europe, asia, africa, etc; are records of girls being married at 9-10-11 years old.



posted on Dec, 26 2004 @ 11:16 AM
link   

Originally posted by Amuk
My grandmother was married at 12 and my mother at 16, in the South at least this was not odd at all back then....


My grandmother, who I affectionatly call Memaw, was married at 15, and ended up with 13 kids. I do understand where your coming from. However, here in Louisville, teen pregnancy is on the rise. When I was in Highschool (86-90), we had a school for pregnant teens called TAPS. There was a total of about 15 girls in it all through highschool. A small, single room was loaned to them from Manual Highschool. Now, TAPS has moved to its own building and is boasting a major increase of students.

This may not be true everywhere, but it is here. Public schools are rampant with kids haveing sex whenever and wherever they can. One of my neighbors works for Okalona elementry. She was telling me earlier this summer about busting a third grade girl performing felatio on a fourth grade boy. These are just some of the many reasons I homeschool my daughter. These kids dont get the discipline, or education they need to be good kids. Kids today for the most part are spoiled.

[edit on 12/26/04 by Kidfinger]



posted on Dec, 27 2004 @ 02:56 PM
link   

Originally posted by jsobecky
TL
You were just too cute for your daddy to get that mad at you.
Admit it. My daughter played the same game with me, as do daughters the world over.


Could be right, if I admit it then the secret would be out for all dads to see...
Hmm, i just gave it away didn't i...oops!
I think dad's bond better with their children, moms tend to be the controlling one, I know there are men out there who are the controlling one in the family, and those "types" are the ones I think anyway who do the spankings...

Spanking is just not cool....
It's just not a NECESSITY in the parenting world... It's a first instinct that humans have... Like I said earlier, you don't get a dog to do what you want by beating it into submission or talking to it like a drill sgt and you don't get positive results from your kids by tanning their rear end as my mom used to put it.


I wonder if the authority figure teaches the child as they grow up to hate authority figures??? They are trying to teach discipline and listening skills I guess but in a reverse kind of way is actually making the child dispise authority figures?? Or at least have a hard time abiding...

Maybe if the lessons parents teach weren't taught with an iron fist perhaps the child would grow up to appreciate their superiors and not be so hostile towards them?

People who exhibit this type of personality set the stage for the later ones in the child's life.... first impressions stick don't they?



posted on Dec, 27 2004 @ 04:12 PM
link   

Originally posted by TrueLies

I wonder if the authority figure teaches the child as they grow up to hate authority figures???


My daughter calls police officers "Real Life SUPERHEROS DAD, LOOK!". Its pretty damn cute


I always reenforce my daughters self esteem by telling her that she will be the one making her decisions as she gets older. I try and explain to her that sh will be the one in control of her life. She seems to get it. Kind of. Sometimes she thinks she has control over everyones life




top topics



 
0
<< 1  2   >>

log in

join