This reminds me of a joke I heard when I was about 11.
There were 3 scientists who were searching for "the magical bridge", and one day they found it.
As they approach it, there is a sign that explains how you can jump off the bridge, and whatever you call out, you will become.
The first scientist leaps off and shouts "Eagle!" and poof- turns into an eagle and soars off into the distance
The next guy jumps off and says "Dolphin!", he turns into a dolphin, lands in the water, and swims away.
The last one walks towards the edge as he's thinking about what he wants to be, trips over the edge and screams "Ohhh shiiiiiii#!!!"
As an 11 year old, it was one of the funniest jokes I'd ever heard.
To answer the op...
I guess I'd like one of my eyes, right eye, to be the eye of a fox, considering what I learned from a recent ats thread I'm sure you've seen. In case
you haven't, they can, among other things, see magnetic fields.
My left eye, I'd like the eye of a mantis shrimp, because: theoatmeal.com...
I'd like the body and penis of a human, for my own personal reasons.
The head of a gorilla but with human vocal cords.
The tail of whatever monkey has a tail you can hang from a tree with or pick things up with it...
The nose of an elephant so I can pick things up and squirt water or take a shower or squirt or drink liquids.
The tongue of an anteater... or the guy from KISS, either or...
Oh, and I forgot my nose has the smelling power of a bloodhound. Just the outside is like an elephant...
The left arm would be a big ass squid tentacle. The right arm would be like a sasquatch arm.
My left leg would be a cheetah leg. My right leg would be circa 1995 Tom Arnold. Not his leg, just a miniature Tom Arnold as a leg. Don't ask why.
Basically I just got bored, and I want someone to do coke with, if I ever start doing coke. Oh and scratch the cheetah leg. My left leg would be
Cousin Eddie from the National Lampoons Vacation movies, so I can have someone to drink with, in case I ever take up heavy drinking again. But during
the daytime hes the actual actor Randy Quaid, so I have someone to talk about Hollywood conspiracies and other stuff like that...
And I have the butt of Arnold Schwarzenegger from Terminator. And I can shapeshift all of my animal parts into a normal human so i don't freak out any
babes. And my hair is like lambs wool. And I can have Wolverine claws in my hands and feet. With an adamuntium skeleton and a rapid healing factor...
And I can fly like superman. And control metal with my mind, like Magneto...
Wait, is this animals only? Celebrities, mutants and aliens from Krypton are pretty much animals right?
Oh and I can control my urine stream to blast like a pressure washer. My vinyl siding needs washed... and i fart purfume and crap roses... thornless
roses. scratch that- just rose petals.
edit on 5/2/2015 by 3n19m470 because: And my bladder is like a star trek replicator, I can pee out any
liquid on demand. Hot soapy water, frosty pina colada, hydrochloric acid, etc etc etc...