am I just paranoid, or is he hiding something

So, you were all game watching porn with him early on ?

Now, you find it disgusting ?

But, he is still looking. You think he shouldn't be looking.

We are men not mind readers. I'm still trying to remember to put down the seat.

My God Woman....TALK TO THE MAN.

a reply to: Midnight13

Hmm well is there any other reason for you to think he's cheating?

Is he canceling dates more often? Spending more time at "work"? Traveling more often? Etc.

If the answer is no to the above, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. If yes then you probably need to talk to him about it.

a reply to: Midnight13

I take my phone with me everywhere too. Remember you are two separate entities, you're not the same person, let this man keep one thing private for his sake.

You sound like the type of person that is paranoid and wants to give their boyfriend no freedom...

But I'll tell you something, if you have doubts about this guy's loyalty towards only you, then you need to ask yourself is this the sort of guy you want to be with.

You are quite young aren't you?

Your story has plenty of red flags. When you are young you are ready to cope with more stuff like that hoping it will get better in the future but usually it never does.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it seems he's not as much into you anymore and stays with you more out of convenience. If you don't like him frequenting porn chat and he claims he's addicted to it, just dump the guy before it's too late.

When you get older you realize time flies and you don't have enough of it to stay in such situations hoping "it will get better". It won't.

If you are still young just see this as what it was. A good experience where you learned a bit more about yourself and what you expect from a nice partner. Then sever with that guy and go find a nicer person.

He is probably hiding something, but not what you think. It could have nothing to do with another girl or porn.

Maybe hes buying drugs

a reply to: Baddogma

or you can ask for an unrealistic level of unnatural cultural, romantic effort that one in twenty might posses... it all depends on honesty with self and expectation... after a few years romanticism tends to get quietly taken out back and shot... unless one is really lucky, that is.

I think it is planning not luck and especially honesty. People need to be very very careful that any possible mate is aware of each others needs and deepest dislikes, dreams, hopes and desires. They need to be sure that the person they meet is not pretending to like what you do in order to get to the sex part of the relationship so you have to go slow and leave that part of compatibility for last. people get tired of trying to pretend after a while of not getting what they are really after.

Personally I dated anyone who asked and ask many myself with no physical or other requirement ahead, many times we are unaware of our true needs and the possible soul mate may be someone you have no idea you would love.

Other than this it is clear that the first years of even the best marriages like ones I know that are in their 40-50 years have it rough the first 3 years or so. People will have adjusting to do to live with another person no matter how compatible. My husband and I once had a fight over a potted plant (his) lol...I mean a major fight not long after he moved in with me.
After 7 years things get better and better and people who are truly compatible grow closer and closer.

We love the same movies, we grow flowers and vegetables together we love the animals and feed the birds and sing together, we read ATS and and talk talk talk together and drive miles to lay out and watch the stars. We are best friends.

a reply to: Char-Lee

Thus you and he are the exception... congrats. Sincerely. Who doesn't love lovers? Well, sometimes I can be a bitter cuss before my coffee... but then I wish happiness for all. And what grows a person more than conforming to another person's world?

Honesty is the key... but that honesty has to reveal supportive intentions, congruent interests and/or an interestingly compatible cultural programming... and thus the desire to put the effort into the relationship.

In truth, a part of all men is just doing the "friend" stuff to get to the sex stuff... but one can rise above their baser instincts... it's what being truly human is, in my estimation, and what's more consistently interesting than another sentient being you can have sex with?

But... the mating game can be quite disappointing ... for both (or more) involved.

There's always other hobbies...

a reply to: Baddogma

I agree with much you say, I spent 5 years weeding and you almost have to trick people into being honest. many one date nightmares to go through it is all work really to do it right.

If you notice a sudden change in habit with all other things being equal, something is going on. I was in a similar situation and it turned out something was definitely going on...