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Sooner or Later We All Must Completely Surrender to Reality

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posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 08:57 PM
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a reply to: TwoRavens
I do hope you are getting some help, TwoRavens. I think you have a lot to offer, and I appreciate your take and passion about some of the issues we have been discussing.

I went back and re-read your posts and feel you should do as BlueMule suggested too - talk to some people (in person if at all possible) about what is really going on. There are also professionals whom you can trust.

Do stay in touch if you care to.

edit on 4/19/2015 by bb23108 because:




posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:07 PM
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originally posted by: bb23108
a reply to: TwoRavens
I do hope you are getting some help, TwoRavens. I think you have a lot to offer, and I appreciate your take and passion about some of the issues we have been discussing.

I went back and re-read your posts and feel you should do as BlueMule suggested too - talk to some people (in person if at all possible) about what is really going on. There are also professionals whom you can trust.

Do stay in touch if you care to.


honestly, no, there are not 'professionals' I can trust. I only trust friends, and am fresh out of ones in this neck of the woods, since no one is willing to go out of their way to help today. If I need to leave, I will, you don't need to ban me to do it, just ask. But when you tell me 'get help'...what it really means is you don't want to and get out of my 'sight'.
edit on 19-4-2015 by TwoRavens because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:09 PM
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wait...I KNOW..I WILL CALL THE VA HOTLINE!

bwaaahahahahahaha. that WAS a joke, biggest one in the land.



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:13 PM
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originally posted by: vethumanbeing

originally posted by: TwoRavens
sooner or later we all die. I hope it's still not a crime to say I really hope that day happens soon for me.

That was the agreement you made before incarnating; so far you have learned nothing as to the reason you are here. If you give up you fail your contract and took up space in a body another spirit may have used to the positive. I hope you don't really mean what you said. The negative will never prevail as it is not 'growth oriented'.


yup. another one to rub salt in wounds and kick me when I'm down. Do you tell someone with an iron lung who barely breathe to do it deeply and meditate? Or someone alone who only knows how to do it from what has been read and right now can't even breath normally, let alone deeply.

What do you tell someone screaming in agony from a broken leg? Do you tell them to find a cure themselves? That is what it feels like is being done to me.

I can barely breathe, and every time I get told "let go" "surrender" " meditate"...did anyone ever think that words have more than one meaning??? TRIGGER words are different for different people, that's what makes them great. This is a conspiracy website. Did it occur to anyone that maybe ..just maybe..the words the psychiatric industry knows help most people would work great to trigger suicide in someone???? That way every time they got help they would really be being told to die.

fact or fiction, reality or fantasy...

the fact is I don't want a hospital or a jail cell. I don't want the pain anymore is all, and am sick of holding it in. and am DONE doing so too. and NO I DO NOT TRUST ANYBODY PROFESSIONAL. That is not paranoia talking, that is experience. period. All a professional does is have a degree, not compassion. Never that.


edit on 19-4-2015 by TwoRavens because: (no reason given)

edit on 19-4-2015 by TwoRavens because: (no reason given)

edit on 19-4-2015 by TwoRavens because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:19 PM
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originally posted by: TwoRavens

originally posted by: vethumanbeing

originally posted by: TwoRavens
sooner or later we all die. I hope it's still not a crime to say I really hope that day happens soon for me.

That was the agreement you made before incarnating; so far you have learned nothing as to the reason you are here. If you give up you fail your contract and took up space in a body another spirit may have used to the positive. I hope you don't really mean what you said. The negative will never prevail as it is not 'growth oriented'.

i
yup. another one to rub salt in wounds and kick me when I'm down. Do you tell someone with an iron lung who barely breathe to do it deeply and meditate? Or someone alone who only knows how to do it from what has been read and right now can't even breath normally, let alone deeply.

What do you tell someone screaming in agony from a broken leg? To you tell them to find a cure themselves? THAT IS WHAT IS BEING DONE TO ME.


What is wrong with you exactly? Not a condescending question, I am genuinely interested.



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:19 PM
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originally posted by: TwoRavens
originally posted by: vethumanbeing
originally posted by: TwoRavens

TwoRavens: sooner or later we all die. I hope it's still not a crime to say I really hope that day happens soon for me.


vhb: That was the agreement you made before incarnating; so far you have learned nothing as to the reason you are here. If you give up you fail your contract and took up space in a body another spirit may have used to the positive. I hope you don't really mean what you said. The negative will never prevail as it is not 'growth oriented'.



TwoRavens: yup. another one to rub salt in wounds and kick me when I'm down. Do you tell someone with an iron lung who barely breathe to do it deeply and meditate? Or someone alone who only knows how to do it from what has been read and right now can't even breath normally, let alone deeply.
What do you tell someone screaming in agony from a broken leg? To you tell them to find a cure themselves? THAT IS WHAT IS BEING DONE TO ME.

Before I answer you; what color are/is your TwoRavens moniker; The Crows specifically and why only 2 crows instead of a flock?
edit on 19-4-2015 by vethumanbeing because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:33 PM
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If you want to know my diagnosis given to me by others at different times, I could rattle those off, but they would all be lies. I know the truth, and have only realized it for a year. I have complex ptsd/DID.

I scored high on both tests I took from online pdf's after a long period of soul searching, but it wasn't the score that gave me the answer. It was the questions. I didn't even need to see the score to know it fit, that it was me, the "all of me's"..

thing is, I also realized recently that a schizophrenic psychotic ex from many years ago is stalking me online and I don't know how long he has been doing it, but when I realized it, it cause something to go a bit wonky in me..just one stress too many..but isn't that the way of the world? To have someone be injured and then someone else recognize that injury and not want to heal it but to use it to their advantage?

So we have two seriously mentally disturbed people here, but it's usually the victim that gets blamed in reality, and online as well. After all, it takes 'two to argue', right? Only it's not an 'argument', it's a hand around my throat.

that's what I'm saying, and it's the truth. So I am not a bad person and don't harm anyone else, but my god, do you know how utterly sick I am of having my injuries, and psychological traumas are injuries..injuries to the very soul..but am tired of being THE ONE BLAMED FOR THEM ALL THE TIME!

so when I speak from 'one avatar' it's my voices using the same one so I can keep track of myself..because I have to keep doing that, and recently I can't do that anymore very well because I am being fugged with. But hey, I should just leave and let him own this site I have been reading and coming to for a while for years too right?

he owns the world then. he owns the internet and he owns the world, and he is an evil sick man. I am sick but not evil. that's about the size of it.



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:34 PM
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originally posted by: TwoRavens

What do you tell someone screaming in agony from a broken leg?


You fix it, if you have the training. If not, you tell them that they need the services of someone trained to deal with broken legs and carry them to a professional, if you're able.

Many of us here at ATS are kind, caring people. But I doubt many of us have the training to help you.

If you make a thread in the rant section and tell people about your circumstances, you will find moral support. And who knows, maybe a professional or two.

👣


edit on 149SundayuAmerica/ChicagoApruSundayAmerica/Chicago by BlueMule because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:38 PM
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originally posted by: vethumanbeing
originally posted by: TwoRavens
originally posted by: vethumanbeing
originally posted by: TwoRavens

TwoRavens: sooner or later we all die. I hope it's still not a crime to say I really hope that day happens soon for me.


vhb: That was the agreement you made before incarnating; so far you have learned nothing as to the reason you are here. If you give up you fail your contract and took up space in a body another spirit may have used to the positive. I hope you don't really mean what you said. The negative will never prevail as it is not 'growth oriented'.



TwoRavens: yup. another one to rub salt in wounds and kick me when I'm down. Do you tell someone with an iron lung who barely breathe to do it deeply and meditate? Or someone alone who only knows how to do it from what has been read and right now can't even breath normally, let alone deeply.
What do you tell someone screaming in agony from a broken leg? To you tell them to find a cure themselves? THAT IS WHAT IS BEING DONE TO ME.

Before I answer you; what color are/is your TwoRavens moniker; The Crows specifically and why only 2 crows instead of a flock?


I used to see these two ravens on the beach when I would walk my dogs. And I don't have it in me to do an avatar. I am so impatient with myself. And with the fact that no one believes me. it's okay..it's still my fault no matter what, my own damn fault, no one elses..and no one else is responsbile for me but me. i am my own best friend. do you have any idea what that does to my very soul..how it shatters it inside to know that? because it means it really is all my fault. so i deserve everything I get..and that means that EVERY TIME I WAS BEATEN AND RAPED I DESERVED IT.

that is what you guys are really saying to the raped women and kids. that they DESERVE IT NOW AND WILL DESERVE IT FOREVER IN HELL.



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:38 PM
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originally posted by: TwoRavens
But when you tell me 'get help'...what it really means is you don't want to and get out of my 'sight'.


I did not mean that at all. Your posts indicate you have been abused and/or have had at least a very difficult life. These matters are not an area I am qualified in. However, if you want to discuss your situation in this community, there are a lot of people around here who do care, including myself, particularly if you are sincere and honest.

I think we are doing our best with what you have presented, but again, this is not my field. Your call though. I am fine with this thread being used for you, though I am not sure what the ATS rules are about any of this. But we can give it a try, if you want. You determine the scope of the consideration based on what you tell us about yourself.

At least this is what I think we can do. Others should chime in with their thoughts, and of course, this includes you, TwoRavens.

edit on 4/19/2015 by bb23108 because:



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:52 PM
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a reply to: TwoRavens
What color are the ravens (not the ones on the beach) the ones you would like to imagine exist (may seem an inconsequential question) but is important, also from memory redaction you only see the two now. Why not a future flock, you seem stuck in time.


edit on 19-4-2015 by vethumanbeing because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:52 PM
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originally posted by: TwoRavens
yup. another one to rub salt in wounds and kick me when I'm down. Do you tell someone with an iron lung who barely breathe to do it deeply and meditate? Or someone alone who only knows how to do it from what has been read and right now can't even breath normally, let alone deeply.

This is the real difficulty with trying to do something like this online. When people cannot communicate face to face, we take everyone at face value in terms of what one writes, as best as possible.

So yes, not all advice (that may be good for many, even most, people) is necessarily good for you specifically.

But please understand this - no one here on this thread is trying to victimize you.

Also, would you tell us your age?

edit on 4/19/2015 by bb23108 because:



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:57 PM
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I started a rant. I'm not going to say anything else here since it's not in the rules.



posted on Apr, 19 2015 @ 09:59 PM
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a reply to: TwoRavens
Okay. Want to supply a link here?

Nevermind, I found it:
www.abovetopsecret.com...



edit on 4/19/2015 by bb23108 because:



posted on Apr, 20 2015 @ 12:53 AM
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originally posted by: TwoRavens
I started a rant. I'm not going to say anything else here since it's not in the rules.

What rules, its all about you now.



posted on Apr, 20 2015 @ 09:35 AM
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What TwoRavens posted on this thread brought up something for me in terms of people who have experienced severe injuries, emotional traumas, etc.

I was stabbed right in the mid-section fairly early in life by someone I was helping during my final semester at university. The blade just missed my aorta, and I was rushed to the hospital. I had surgery and was left with a very large scar.

Initially it was very emotionally traumatic - my youthful and naive fearlessness, my sense of being impervious to any danger, etc., was utterly undermined. I felt completely betrayed!

The person who did this had serious emotional issues, and he lived with another dozen teenage boys I looked after. After graduating a month or so later from university, I decided to take a real break to do some soul-searching.

Being stabbed was a huge insult to my body-mind and what I really wanted was to retreat - which I did by flying to India and hiking up alone to Mount Everest. Pretty stupid to do with this kind of wound, as it developed even more scar tissue, but what can I say, I was young and dumb, and wanted to get away from everyone and everything.

And after all that, I returned home from this huge search, only to THEN immediately find that what I wrote in the opening post was true.

I could really see that we do exist in a field of unlimited relatedness, whether we liked it or not, and at that point I did not like that at all! This was not at all what I was looking for!

But I persisted with this approach of feeling deeply into my relatedness as much as possible - to not withhold my energy from others, to feel their plight as well, and to love. Over time, through much spiritual help founded in this discipline of relatedness, I noticed that the emotional trauma had disappeared because I had not given it energy for quite a while, etc.

This is not to say that we should not talk about our traumatic experiences, but after a certain point I realized it was a matter of not dwelling on all the betrayal and feelings of being victimized, that all seemed justified. I mean, I never did anything but try to help these guys, so wtf is with being stabbed by one of them? (I found out later he also had stabbed his principal in high school a few years earlier, which the hospital conveniently forgot to tell me!)

Plus I realized that there was only so much help any professionals were going to give me. So after a certain point, I was resolved to live based on the obviousness of relatedness, rather than letting this difficult trauma inform the rest of my life.

I certainly don't compare this single trauma with the extent of trauma that TwoRavens described (childhood abuse is especially horrible!), but my experience seems relevant to what she wrote here yesterday, so I am bringing it up in case it is useful to her and/or others.

Thanks for listening, and also for everyones' great contributions to this thread!

edit on 4/20/2015 by bb23108 because:



posted on Apr, 20 2015 @ 10:05 AM
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a reply to: bb23108

you wrote


rather than flying about in various seductive astral dimensions


and then in the next post you wrote



perceptions and conceptions of the illusory ego-I,


If you speak of your ego-I as illusory and it sounds like you loathe it, what would be the point in being seduced by the astral?

edit on 20-4-2015 by TheConstruKctionofLight because: spelling



posted on Apr, 20 2015 @ 10:13 AM
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a reply to: Itisnowagain




and 'I want something different' and brings up stories about when it will be better and the thoughts are often believed making what is not good enough.


So you will keep driving your car till the rust causes your seat to fall to the ground or your wheel to come of the axle? You deny a story that your car will need replacing soon in that instance?



posted on Apr, 20 2015 @ 10:16 AM
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originally posted by: TheConstruKctionofLight
If you speak of your ego-I as illusory and it sounds like you loathe it, what would be the point in being seduced by the astral?

The root of the ego-I is attention - the activity of creating a point-of-view. It is a limiting function of the body-mind, with obvious functionality.

There is no point to flying around as attention in the subtle worlds as though that represents some higher truth. It is just another experience or point-of-view, creating the limited sense of a separate self.

However, for travelling quickly, it sure beats the subway!
edit on 4/20/2015 by bb23108 because:



posted on Apr, 20 2015 @ 10:19 AM
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a reply to: vethumanbeing



took up space in a body another spirit may have used to the positive


Or to the negative otherwise your stating that all is positive at this current incarnation.




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