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originally posted by: DeadSeraph
I've had this feeling for many years now. The feeling of being homesick, and like I just want to go home, yet I don't know where home is. It has intensified to a great degree in the last few years.
originally posted by: Galadriel
I empathize. I can relate. Absolutely.
I have had this feeling since I was a child - as long as I can remember. I would sit up in bed by the window and look out at the night sky at the stars, and feel homesick. I lived in the same house from age three to 20 -- so there was no “missing home” needed. I had a decent family - some dysfunction, but hey, who doesn’t?
I had stability, siblings, neighbors to play with, a mom and dad, health, school, plenty of food and the necessities of life without worry.
Yet I felt like there was a family of people out there, up where the stars were, that I was missing. Like I got dropped off on the planet and was left behind for some reason. My longing was palpable. I told no one.
As I got older, I often thought in my mind, “what is wrong with people here?“ when faced with the sickness and sadness and cruelty of humankind. “They” seemed so foreign to me. So backward. So primitive and barbaric that it physically and psychically seemed to hurt my very being. I really wanted to go Home. I felt that being Human was something sacred and beautiful, yet the “humans” around me seemed strange and not right.
Later, when I “grew up” -- when I traveled, I didn’t really miss my “home” -- as I love traveling. But I missed my “Home” with a capital H. No matter how interesting, fun, or entertaining life was or how routine it was.
I went to Ireland as a young woman. And I felt like I was home. Not big H, but “home.” I knew it so well -- all was familiar and wonderful to me. I never got lost, I knew my way around. I assumed it was “past life” that made this so. I wish I could have spent my life there -- guess I was afraid to leave my family for good and uproot my child. When I return there, I feel so full of joy, as I am home.
As I’ve gotten older and had great losses in my life, I found myself crying, sobbing, or almost howling in emotional pain. And I found myself saying out loud to myself, “where are my people? I want to find my people.” In those times, it was my “family” that I didn’t meet in this life/incarnation that I missed so deeply. For somehow, I knew they could comfort me.
Like you mentioned, I have always been different. Quiet. Introspective. (But I can be Chatty Kathy too!). I see life as art and poetry, as symphony and prose, sculpture and dance. All sacred.
Just as you said…I don’t do well in crowded places, am generally a loner as I don’t relate to others all that well (at least, not to those who are sort of unaware, asleep, wrapped up “in the world”), and I sometimes have trouble making new friends (but then again, there are those I meet and feel I’ve known forever and we are instantly close). My dearest friends too have moved away to pursue their careers.
Like you, I do care about people, especially children, and particularly those who are struggling physically, financially, emotionally, and so forth. I have to be careful of my empathy, as it can delete my energy. I learned a long time ago that walking down a crowded city street can wipe me out energetically if I’m not careful, as I feel the emotions of others.
However, I rarely feel “lonely.” I enjoy the silence of being in nature. Or sitting in the backyard listening to birds and sky gazing. I walk in the woods a lot to stay grounded. I read, write, or just think or “not think” outdoors. I love the sea and the mountains (who doesn’t!), but just give me some trees, birds, dirt, grass and maybe a creek and I’m good. In fact, despite my longing for “Home” -- I also am totally in love with the planet and being alive/3D. It’s civilization/society that I don’t get.
So, how can I love living and being on Earth, yet miss Home in the stars and a “family” I don’t exactly remember? Strange.
I’m not a religious person, though I believe there is much more to us than meat suits, so it’s not like I think Home is “heaven.”
I sometimes wonder if maybe it’s a different “time” on Earth that I am hungering for, a “when” perhaps.
Anyway, you are not alone in your longing.
PM me if you ever feel alone and need to share.
How do I know you are gifted? I just know it.
- I bet you are rather smart compared to most people, yet it doesn't mean you automatically performed extraordinary in school.
- You are highly sensitive, can hear high-pitched sounds. You notice quickly small details.
- You have a good memory
- You are an introvert and often have difficulties with social interactions
- You have a high sense of justice and do not understand why everyone doesn't
- You feel different but can't explain why