Empathy, And TV

First just a bit about myself. I am someone who is very good at reading people, and picking up on subtle intentions, feelings, etc. I just get a lot of information about people, and the meaning behind their words and actions, very quickly without needing a whole lot to go on. Now, some like to throw around the term 'empath.' I have never come to like this term. People seem to use it to really elevate themselves as operating on some higher level than others, like a supernatural gift. And the way they talk about it sometimes makes it seem like nonsense. Now, while I am very good at picking up on stuff, and it may be in some way spiritual by nature, I do feel it is largely based on observation. I think my subconscious has a vast range of information, and from little things that I see or hear my subconscious is able to utilize its database of information to draw conclusions that, while beyond conclusions we would be able to make concretely with our conscious, rational mind, are nonetheless extremely likely to be true.

So, tied into this, that I can read people very well, is that I seem to sort of feel what they feel. I empathize with others, and as I understand the situation I sort of take on the feelings. Now, just a sort of funny thing, that nonetheless is a manifestation of this, and I'm curious about others having the same 'issue.' When I am watching TV, or something like that, if someone is doing something embarrassing...I find it extremely hard to watch. Seriously, I look away, or pause it, and just literally find it hard to keep watching normally while that's going on. Just because it's like I can feel the embarrassment of being in that situation. I once did an online personality assessment, or some such thing, and this was actually a possible quality it considered. So, curious about others who can overall relate to what I am saying about being able to really read people and pick up on things, as well as things like what I describe as the difficulty of watching someone embarrass themselves.

Most TV shows are staged. They are not real.
'Reality' shows aren't real either.
They are heavily scripted and cut.
So I don't feel anything while watching them.
I know it's not real.

When the TV news comes on with stories happening to people, like a building fire or a flood or whatever, then yes I feel for those people. But TV shows like Maury or Dance Moms or CSI or whatever ??? Nope.

originally posted by: FlyersFan
Most TV shows are staged. They are not real.
'Reality' shows aren't real either.
They are heavily scripted and cut.
So I don't feel anything while watching them.
I know it's not real.

When the TV news comes on with stories happening to people, like a building fire or a flood or whatever, then yes I feel for those people. But TV shows like Maury or Dance Moms or CSI or whatever ??? Nope.

Well...of course TV shows are staged...they have actors, directors, scripts...

originally posted by: TheJourney
Well...of course TV shows are staged...they have actors, directors, scripts...

What I'm saying is that because I know they are fake, I don't feel 'empathy'.
But the human tragedy stories in the news are real, and thus I feel the empathy.

I seem to be on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from you. I often think I may have been born without empathy whatsoever, then I remember that if I actually know the person and like them, I can feel bad for them.

I find it incredibly easy to become detached from a situation. I can place myself outside of thinking something is actually happening. This allows me to function very well under pressure or do things most people couldn't stomach.

Empathy and intelligence is horrible to have in this world.

I, too, can be involved in a good drama and feel the pain of some character.

I can also drive by a dog watching lonely and forgotten in a back yard... or an old, homeless person slowly pushing a loaded shopping cart uphill, and I'm wrecked for days.

One could remember that the drama is fake, stop and pet the dog... or offer the elderly person a ride...

but the drama is based on painful reality or it wouldn't resonate, the dog will just be forgotten as soon as you leave and the old person doesn't have anywhere to go, anyway, or anyone waiting for them and they are likely so beaten down, sick, demented and close to death that your self serving kindness will just be a bother to them...

It's all futile grasps for the momentary relief of dopamine that weakly counter the bleakness and grey loneliness of this deeply wrong- feeling, often hostile, always painful, blessedly fleeting yet unbearably long existence.

And then I take my meds and everything is swell! Uhhh... sports?

a reply to: TheJourney

I am very empathetic also, by nature or nurture, it is not totally clear.

(I just editted out a lengthy "flow of consciousness" type ramble on my own experiences that is probably going off on tangents)

It is is worth it to consider what empathy means to you and the different forms it takes- there is "emotional contagion" in which you pick up signals subconsciously through body language which causes your body to mimic the others in physiological ways. That doesn't have to follow your own personal values or morals or judgements- you could have a biological "embarrassment" effect without understanding why (increased bloodflow to the face, sweaty palms, that kind of thing). We don't all get embarrassed by the same things- what might not be embarrassing to you could be embarrassing to another, but you still have your body reacting as they. This engages your mirror neurons.

Then there is a sort of empathy that is more based upon your own memories, concepts, values and imagination- in which you imagine yourself in their place, and provoke a reaction in your body from that internal experience.

This is what happens when you feel ashamed watching someone else do something that they them self are not conscious of it being worthy of shame- you imagine what they will feel when they realize it and anticipate. It's like watching someone slam a hammer into the leg of someone and wincing- but what if that leg is on a person who is paralyzed from the waist up and they feel nothing? It was all in your head.

It is sometimes hard to tell the difference between these two processes- they happen quickly in your brain, and we can even make mistakes in our interpretations. That is where projection can go in every which way. Especially worth considering when it comes to watching tv, where we are not in the presence of the person in real life!

originally posted by: FlyersFan
Most TV shows are staged. They are not real.
'Reality' shows aren't real either.
They are heavily scripted and cut.
So I don't feel anything while watching them.
I know it's not real.

When the TV news comes on with stories happening to people, like a building fire or a flood or whatever, then yes I feel for those people. But TV shows like Maury or Dance Moms or CSI or whatever ??? Nope.

the ancients would disagree with you; look into The Mystery Play ,and I mean the pre-xtian version, which googles truth algorithm seems to have pushed to back of the line in favor of the medieval ones.

the best actors have always been those who get so into the role that they become it, and incidentally project the roles feelings and emotions

originally posted by: FlyersFan

originally posted by: TheJourney
Well...of course TV shows are staged...they have actors, directors, scripts...

What I'm saying is that because I know they are fake, I don't feel 'empathy'.
But the human tragedy stories in the news are real, and thus I feel the empathy.

you are able to empathize, so that's not the problem.

suspension of disbelief is necessary in order to truly enjoy fiction y'know.