How do you explain to a kid...

I agree. Just as soon as the child is able to comprehend the concept of "mommy" and can understand that her natural one (assuming another mommy comes into her life, which I hope happens) is not around...that's the moment you start gradually explaining...at the levels they can understand.

OR...you could wait until some kid at school busts the news to her first and then try to undo trauma.

Originally posted by DeltaChaos
How are they going to explain to that little kid that when she was born, some psycho cut her out of the womb as her mother lay dying from asphyxiation? How could you explain this?

Why in the world would you ever consider telling that to a kid?

What I'm concerned with is the frequency of things like this happening, and the causes. Is it diet? Chemical additives? Medication? Society? Were these ladies husbands beating them psychologically and emotionally? That's actually my best guess.

I bet this womb raider had such a guilt complex over losing 'her daddy's baby', that she lied about the miscarriage, and in a paranoid and delusional state as a result of her psychotic break, she planned and carried out what she thought to be completely rational.

I'LL STEAL SOMEONE ELSES BABY, RIGHT OUT OF HER GUT, AND TELL EVERYONE IT'S MINE!!!

Ohmigod. Please, take the male-bashing to Oprah.

:shk:

Exactly dnero,

I hate seeing parents apologize to other adults on behalf of their children. It's true. Children aren't sensitive, adults are.

It usually happens in the grocery store, the little kid is just being a little kid, true to their nature, and the ADULT becomes embarrassed. Then squelches the child's nature, destroying their esteem and understanding of themselves.

I have a personal theory about the male of the species, though. I believe that boys are most emotionally and intellectually developed around age ten. Then, when puberty hits, a sudden dropoff from progress occurs, and the boy goes into a sort of regression. This regression lasts until around the age of 23-27, depending on the willingness of the subject to grow up, and their personal situation and experience.

God, we're stupid.

Originally posted by jsobecky
Ohmigod. Please, take the male-bashing to Oprah.

Obviously you've never witnessed firsthand the effects that continual abuse can have on a person. Shall I show you the wonders?

I almost believe your theory to be fact... lol from 9-13 I think boys are at an intellectual peak that will be hard to rise to again for most, my explanation for this would have to be the 'threat' of highschool, (once again we notice how fear affects the mind and growing pattern) ... Not to mention all the miseducation and 'fear' education, that being the sexual education/disease scare, then we have the anti-drug scare, which for most beginning highschool students educates them on something they had no idea about, and easily makes the 'users' visible because of the conversations afterward in class, thus making someone who has never experienced drugs open to the world.... If one can escape the trap of miseducation and get away from that system then I think they will develope quite a bit faster....

I could relate a lot here to explain humans and how we're manipulated marionettes, but I don't want to hurt your eyes..

But we CAN'T escape! THEY won't let us!!!

Yeah, talk about the fear education. Don't forget the you're gonna get cancer and die scare, and the massive meteroid from outer space scare, and the hyper-halitosis scare, and the wear these shoes or never get laid scare, and of course, the if you don't replace the toilet paper roll, the terrorists have won scare. Arterial sclerosis, gingivitis, osteoporosis, people ripping off your retirement. Jesus, what is there, other than love, that could make this existence bearable?

Well just like the futurama episode I seen, its the fear that drives us closer 2gether... lol

Originally posted by theRiverGoddess
I am a proponent of OPEN and HONEST comunication with children.......but some things, are truly best not said. They loose their innocence soon enogh in this world. A child would not NEED to have such information.....I would WORK at keeping this from the child....I would move ASAP, go somewhere were nobody knew of us, and not bring this up. This would be a deep dark secret not to be let loose. I wouldnt tell freinds....and I would make sure family members were well aware of my ideas on this subject.

When this little person was older, say Universtity age.....if they had questions....I would give them directions to old news artilces and let them find this themselves. Then be there with open arms to catch them.

I understand you hopeless feelings about this DC........just pray you are NEVER in such a situation. As shall I........

Yeah, that's the exact same thing I would do, and I wouldn't even tell the kid when they are grown nless they asked, then I would do like you said, give them directions to old newspaper articles. I don't think anyperson would want to know that such a horrible thing happened to their mom when she was pregnant with them. Only if the person really asked. I wouldn't just walk up to them out of the blue as an adult and say by the way, someone cut you outof your mther's stomach to try to steal you away from her while she layed there bleeding to death.

Originally posted by Valhall
I agree. Just as soon as the child is able to comprehend the concept of "mommy" and can understand that her natural one (assuming another mommy comes into her life, which I hope happens) is not around...that's the moment you start gradually explaining...at the levels they can understand.

OR...you could wait until some kid at school busts the news to her first and then try to undo trauma.

The way I would handle it though, nobody would know. So I wouldn't have to worry about anyone blurting it out to the kid.

You don't live in a small town, do you? Everybody already knows...it's all over the national news, let alone the talk of the town.

Unless this man moves WAY away, this is exactly how this little girl would find out if it's not handled at home.

Originally posted by jsobecky

What I'm concerned with is the frequency of things like this happening, and the causes. Is it diet? Chemical additives? Medication? Society? Were these ladies husbands beating them psychologically and emotionally? That's actually my best guess.

I bet this womb raider had such a guilt complex over losing 'her daddy's baby', that she lied about the miscarriage, and in a paranoid and delusional state as a result of her psychotic break, she planned and carried out what she thought to be completely rational.

I'LL STEAL SOMEONE ELSES BABY, RIGHT OUT OF HER GUT, AND TELL EVERYONE IT'S MINE!!!

Ohmigod. Please, take the male-bashing to Oprah.

:shk:

OMG! Hey, how 'bout this scenario if we're going to pull theories out of our backside.

This woman was a manipulative, lying co-dependent bitch who probably didn't take care of the kids she had, or her husband. The marriage was probably on its last leg, and in her twisted mind, dependent on another "hook" via a child she probably connived her way into conceiving. When she lost her "hook" she slaughtered a young mother.

How's that? I like my wild-arse'd-guess better than yours!

Originally posted by dnero6911

Originally posted by DeltaChaos
Kids can be so cruel. They are always the first ones to tell the truth. Sad, really...

OMG how correct you are.... ever been to a grocery store with a young little fellow?... or girl for that matter
Mommy/Daddy 'that man has a big belly', or 'look they have no hair'.... oh and what do we tell them? 'SHUTUP!', 'Don't say that!' and then we apologize for their 'wrong behavior' thats just like saying 'Don't tell the truth' or 'The obvious is wrong, and you must apologize or make excuses for it'
What will you all do when people like me run the world? You had better run, the truth stings.

LOL! But no one can look at a child and say mommy that kid was cut out of his mom's belly and stolen at birth! LOL! No one will know unless you tell them and if you are going to tell the whole world, then tell the kid too so no one will shock the kid with the story, but if you are going to keep it discreet and quiet were no one knows except you and your spouse, then you don't have to tell the kid till they are an adult if you ever tell them. What exactly would that knowlege benefit them? It's not like keeping them from knowing their real mom when she's alive, their mom is dead, so what's the point in even telling it at all? All they need to know unless they really pry for the truth, all they need to know is they were adopted and their birth mom is dead that she died when the kid was a baby. If they ask how, just say she bled to death. If as an adult they keep prying for details then tell them, but if they are happy with the simple explination leave it at that.

Originally posted by Valhall
You don't live in a small town, do you? Everybody already knows...it's all over the national news, let alone the talk of the town.

Unless this man moves WAY away, this is exactly how this little girl would find out if it's not handled at home.

Yeah, I would definately move away somewhere, to the opposite side of the US! LOL!

a good teacher told us students some rules for tough situations.


*in heirarchical order*

1. be appropriate
2. tell the truth

i find it to work. sure, we ask "how do i determine appropriate?" i figure that everyone has to learn that from trial and error.

The problem is...kids will say anything. I grew up (in a small town) with a girl who was adopted. Apparently her adoptive parents had never told her this. She found out in 6th grade from another student who apparently had parents who don't explain what is and isn't appropriate to talk about.