You know, it sounds almost as if maybe you accidentally put a red in there with the whites (or maybe your significant other did that and ruined all
niceties). That happened to me once I just could never get anyone to understand the severity of how life changing that is. Only my cat understood, but
he still laughed as I cried.
That said, I guess I'm lucky that I rarely need to "talk" about things. I supposed now I'm so indifferent and jaded (and so many people are ignorant
and so lame) that I just don't want to "try" to make anyone understand. It has taken me a long time to learn and develop my perspective, and it gets
tiring trying to talk to people or explain things, because most just don't see things like I see things. Only my cat seems to, and he agrees with me
on everything (except when I tell him it's too late to go outside).
Usually I can find peace in music (writing or listening) and relaxing in the grandness of Nature while sitting on the porch with a glass of wine and
something cooking or baking, that magical place of stillness where the world in silent and gazes in awe (Nature will never laugh at you. Or maybe
Nature is *always* laughing at us and we're too stupid to take it as anything but affirmation). Over the past year I have had a few rough times, and I
learned to express myself in creativity because I'm too guarded and stubborn to express how I truly feel to people. And I must say, that creativity
was like unloading a great stone from my soul (or maybe that stone *was* my soul and now it sank into the abyss of the ocean, I dunno).
Sometimes I really wanna feel like this:
But I really feel like this (video NOT embedded b/c of language):
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