It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
originally posted by: DAVID64
......you know the ones. The 20 year old, with no kids, no experience raising them, [ or they had a little brother or sister, so that makes them an authority ] and they have their "informed" opinion about how you should raise yours. "Well, the study said 67%......" "The polls say that 72%..."
THIS parent, who has raised 3 kids, one of which is Autistic, says you 100% need to S...T...F..U and stay out of it till you do have several years experience raising kids.
I Don't Care what Mommy and Daddy did, that's one set of parents, not a guide to parenting.
I Don't Care what you think, what your opinion is or what you would do in the same situation. "If that were me I'd...." No, you probably wouldn't! You don't know what you would do, because You don't have kids!.
You have ZERO experience getting up at 2 am to feed and change a baby. Or have warm baby puke running down the back of your shoulder after that. Or having a baby pee in your face, when you took his diaper off a little too soon, or the cool air makes him want to pee again. This time straight up at you. You don't know what it's like to have to clean a baby, after they've got a hand in what's in their diaper and smear it all over themselves, their crib, the blankets, the wall AND YOU when you start cleaning it up.
You have no idea what it's like to stay up all night because they have a fever. Or listen for the slightest sound from their room, pole vault out of bed and run in to see if they're choking on mucus, heart doing a Neil Peart impression. [ The YYZ solo for you fellow fans ] You don't know what it's like to have to "baby proof" a whole house. Or go through a room, inspecting every inch before you put them down, to make sure there are no little things lying around for them to stick in their mouths and choke on. You don't know the endless hours of potty training. Or the terrifying experiences you'll have when they start learning to walk. Or all the scrapes and scabs they'll have when they do learn.
You think because you baby sat for your little brother or sister a few times, you know what it's like to be a parent and that gives you the right to tell the rest of us we're doing it wrong.
Till you have one and they're at least a few years old....stay out of it. Your opinion doesn't count.
originally posted by: eisegesis
Where does constructive criticism fit into all of this? Just because I haven't lived it doesn't mean I don't understand.
Very empathetic and intelligent people don't always need experience to offer good advice. I am an analyzer of whatever is in front of me and can easily find ways to make a situation more efficient. So well in fact, I get paid to do it.
Stop surrounding yourself with idiots or refrain from sharing in a way that shows angst, burden, or stress. When people see or hear that, they naturally want to give advice or help. Don't set yourself up to be bombarded with statistics or bad advice by complaining.
Not that you are.
originally posted by: butcherguy
a reply to: DAVID64
Star and Flag.
I am pretty sure I know what prompted your valid rant.
I remember hearing one of my three daughters moaning one night shortly after she went to bed. I got to the bottom of the carpeted stairs just in time to see her launch a formidable projectile vomitus down at me. She hit every stairstep, the walls, the landing and the door at the bottom.
Parents earn their stripes.
I've heard comments about my frequent miscarriages and how I must have "deserved" it by my stepmother and stepsister.
Maybe people are right when they criticize you, maybe what's wrong in your opinion makes perfect sense to someone else, there is no rule book, there is only experience and common sense, which varies greatly amongst the human animal. Thankfully I say, or we would all be brought up as a herd rather than individuals.
I am an analyzer of whatever is in front of me and can easily find ways to make a situation more efficient.
originally posted by: DAVID64
So, if you had came across me and my autistic son, when he was 4 and sitting in the aisle at Wal Mart, would not get up and was crying, you would feel free to give advice?