Another low America, let your babies cry, this makes me cry

Everybody has a different way of raising their children. With education, a parent can tell which child needs cuddling for their emotional health, and which ones just ratchet up their emotional level because they're hyper and excitable, and need to let it out without interference. Children like this learn to self-soothe, and also learn that crying and melting down will not work as manipulation so they don't have to go to bed when it is time.

My youngest, for a while, I had to let her cry herself to sleep, or she wouldn't sleep. Period. Not so with my oldest. It is not easy to hear.

The OP is on the attack, is making assumptions on child psychology with nothing to back it up except a guilty conscience for vaccinations, and is rather insulting towards others on the thread. Look inwards and forgive yourself, stop projecting onto others who are not in lock-step with you and your own ideas.

a reply to: PrettyPlease1

Now new moms and dads are being told to let their baby cry itself to sleep, no need to hug the infant or hold it, just let it cry till the poor thing can't cry anymore

Ahh a bleeding heart, do you have any children? If you have a warm, clean, fed child who cries in bed it is because they don't want to go to sleep. My oldest daughter went through a phase where she would throw up almost on command at bed time. This was just so she could stay up while we stuck her in the shower and changed the bedding. Children are very self centered. This is normal. It is our job as parents to teach them how to survive life, not to coddle them incessantly. Your confused that ignoring a child crying at bed time is abuse, It's because you don't know what you are talking about.


I'm not sure if you live in America or not, but i would say the prevailing thought on child rearing is to spoil the # out of them, give in to any whim they have and ignore any failings. Yes 8 year old's need an iphone and ipad... Of course they have to be involved in seven extra curricular activities... If your not a full time taxi service you are a bad parent.

I think parents should stop making entitled little sociopaths, but that's just me.

V

One more thing... the title of the thread.

America sucks because some unlinked person or group said something?

That would be painting with a continental-sized brush.

This member has obviously come to ATS to make anti-American statements and that's it it seems, judging by the other statements they've made on here. I don't think many other members will bother to read this persons threads much longer.
The OP reminds me of the type of child who I would allow to "cry it out" while ignoring them so they learn that constantly whining and crying isn't they way to get attention.

originally posted by: PrettyPlease1

originally posted by: Anyafaj
She has autism and was born missing part of her brain. A majority of the time, she cried herself to sleep because we didn't know she WOULDN'T sleep, period. We were going out of our minds. She would be up for hours and hour and hours, just crying and driving us psycho. It took us until she was 9 to get an autism diagnosis, and until she 11 to get her medication to help her sleep at night. Her brain is wired to keep her awake 24/7, there is no off switch. She was once awake for 5 days straight, no nap, no nothing. She was 3. We were pulling hair by this point thinking we were the crazy ones. Now? She's a very sweet 19 yr old girl who lives in a group home with 3 other girls with autism and is doing very well so far.

You have a sick child, your case is different, they are telling all parents to let babies cry

About Autism, you wrote she was born without a part of her brain

I am little bit suspicious, my background is medical field, are you talking about something small like a cyst or vacuole missing

Or are you talking about large chunk of the brain

IT IS POSSIBLE that you and your daughter are victims of nefarious medical system, if you followed all their recommendations and got full range of vaccines and if you allowed them to give fluoride based antibiotics

Once they screw a child, then they diagnose it with Autism and can also make up a story how chunk of the brain is missing

Anyone who trusts western doctors at this point is being ignorant

I saw the MRI. It's a chunk of her brain. The part that connects the left hemisphere with the right. She has what is called Agenesis (meaning missing) of the Corpus Callosum.

Normal healthy brain


My daughter's brain That entire black void is what she is missing. It forms in the first 3 months of fetal development, for her, it never formed. It is over 250 million neurons.


Imagine the body as a state. Say NY state. The right half of the brain is say Albany. The left half is say NYC. There is no road between Albany and NYC, no phone line, no computer, no way to communicate whatsoever. Albany is telling NY what to do, and NYC is telling NY what to do. NY is listening to both cities at the exact same time so it's very confused because sometimes it gets conflicting messages. That is my daughter. She has what is called Split Brain Personality because technically she has two brains, not one, since they are not connected to each other. Neurologists will cut the corpus callosum out of the body to stop severe seizures from going from one half of the brain to the other, which she has seizures, but she is a medical oddity because she has seizures in both halves of her brain, with no bridge to allow them to jump to each half. They are there naturally.

She used to see a therapist who would help patients who were before, and after, and help them get back to before, but my daughter was her only patient who had no before, so it was a first for her. My daughter had to do aquatic therapy just to learn to toss a ball from one hand to another, something we take for granted as easy peasy, she had to learn how to do. She's 19, and still cannot ride a bike, because she doesn't have the coordination to do so from the TBI (as she is considered). Of course she was teased for this all her life, even by grown ups who should know better. She had one of the best neurologist in the state in NY before we moved to PA. He was very, very good. Especially with her seizures. He checked them every year with a new EKG.

Also with her, she was diagnosed as missing part of her brain and refused to consider autism because the symptomology was so similar. I had to fight for an evaluation. I got one with the best in the State at SUNY all because of Google research. He agreed, she WAS autistic AND missing part of her brain. The problem was, once they find part of the brain missing, they stop looking for what else might be causing the problem, but she wasn't getting autism treatments she was entitled to by the state, I knew she was autistic, and by getting the diagnosis, she was able to get the treatments she needed.

originally posted by: Variable
a reply to: PrettyPlease1

Now new moms and dads are being told to let their baby cry itself to sleep, no need to hug the infant or hold it, just let it cry till the poor thing can't cry anymore

Ahh a bleeding heart, do you have any children? If you have a warm, clean, fed child who cries in bed it is because they don't want to go to sleep. My oldest daughter went through a phase where she would throw up almost on command at bed time. This was just so she could stay up while we stuck her in the shower and changed the bedding. Children are very self centered. This is normal. It is our job as parents to teach them how to survive life, not to coddle them incessantly. Your confused that ignoring a child crying at bed time is abuse, It's because you don't know what you are talking about.


I'm not sure if you live in America or not, but i would say the prevailing thought on child rearing is to spoil the # out of them, give in to any whim they have and ignore any failings. Yes 8 year old's need an iphone and ipad... Of course they have to be involved in seven extra curricular activities... If your not a full time taxi service you are a bad parent.

I think parents should stop making entitled little sociopaths, but that's just me.

V

Mine would take off her onesie and smear feces all over the bedding, all over the walls, all over her crib, the carpet, and when we cleaned it up at night and cleaned her up, it was waiting for us again in the AM. 2 long years of going through that. I was losing my mind!

a reply to: Anyafaj

Bless you for your patience.


I can't imagine what that must have been like.

originally posted by: butcherguy
a reply to: Anyafaj

Bless you for your patience.


I can't imagine what that must have been like.

We parents power through so we have something to blackmail our kids with later and share a laugh with them. Yeah, we pulled our hair out then, but give it a few years, it grows back. The best part of parenthood is the sense of humor that goes with it.

a reply to: FissionSurplus

Hi Fission.
I usually agree with 99.99% of your posts, but not that one!

I've posted several times on these boards about how British parents are being told "Put baby to bed and do not return to baby, no matter how much he/she cries"

This BAD advice is being pushed globally, the purpose is to produce a generation of people with little to no parental bonding. This will make it easier for tptb to control them, and also lead up to the awful reality of terminating the useless elderly!

1984 is here, and telling parents to ABANDON babies is the proof.

If ours started to cry, we always checked on him and cuddled him and made sure he had all his needs taken care of and wasn't sick or colicking, but once he got to a certain age and we knew he was fine, we went cry it out which is a specific method and involves increasing periods of the child being left to cry until they finally fall asleep.

You do not just chuck them in the crib and leave them. You put them there with lots of love and reassurance and leave for 5 min. If they are still crying you visit them and reassure and soothe with little to no eye contact to excite them all over, and leave them for 10 min. If they're still going, you revisit again and repeat only leave for 15.

Ours would never get past 15 after the first time we did it. And he is hardly any kind of small psychopath at 4 and very cuddly/clingy. So he must not have been that damaged by being left to cry a few times.

a reply to: PrettyPlease1

There is no proof what so ever that vaccines cause autism. You know this already why continue to propagate the lie.
Also babies cry. Sometimes you just have to let them. No baby ever cried to death or even cried to sickness. Many have cried themselves to sleep.
I didn't have fussy babies but there were times when they've been fed and their diaper is clean and dry and its late at night and definitely not play time where I kissed them and layed them down and turned off the light. Darkness alone will make most infants fall asleep which is why I also don't advocate a night light. It keeps the little tykes awake.
Babies will self sooth if they don't get a response from mom or dad. I'm not saying ignore your child and if they really continue to scream it may mean a pain of some sort which you'll want to address of course. My babies all slept through the night within a few months. As soon as they could eat enough to last the night.
It's unrealistic to expect a new born to sleep through because their little tummies can't hold enough to get them through the night. Breast fed babies will sleep even less as they will get hungry sooner than formula fed babies. Babies need to learn how to put themselves to sleep. Too many parents allow baby to suck a bottle to fall asleep but that can become a habit and damage emerging teeth. I let my little ones suck their thumbs. They all gave it up after four months and I never once had to pick up a thumb that had dropped into the dirt and not once did they have to search to find their thumb in the middle of the night.
Moms and dads just use your head. You don't want the child to suffer but you also don't want them sucking a bottle at age four or sleeping in your bed every night till they're five .

a reply to: Iamthatbish

All of mine are cuddlers too. Plenty of time for cuddles and hugs during the day. I should add that my children are all grown men now. They are still very affectionate.

Auto correct changed the word cuddlers to fiddlers lol. My oldest played violin in grade school but is hardly a fiddler.

originally posted by: PrettyPlease1

originally posted by: butcherguyIn some cases, it is necessary to put the baby down and cry themselves to sleep. Crying increases blood oxygen levels, if the baby cries for more than 3 hours, see a doctor.

Here we go, here we go, a defender of what can not be defended

I feel sorry for your children and the lack of physical contact you give them

Wow you assume an awful lot from the phrase let you child cry to sleep. Should we also assume that your kids are insecure and afraid of the dark and hide behind your legs when they meet a stranger because they lack coping skills? No that would not be fair either.

Part of the problem is that before they can talk, kids communicate with crying. Ours got to the point where he felt like it was perfectly fine to get up and waddle/roll around at 1, 2 or 3 am in the morning. He would cry to let us know he was ready to be up and out of his crib.

This was the point where we started employing cry it out to get him accustomed to the idea that people sleep all night. It was either that or get up and let him have a 2 to 3 hour play time in the middle of every night.

It should be noted that the right thing is to help your little one learn how to fall asleep and not keep mom and dad up all night.
Clean dry fed and dark. Kiss them good night and don't run back in at the first whimper. The kid will learn soon enough that you're a push over if you run right back in at the first sign of distress. Kids learn by routine.Bath, milk, teeth, bed. Every night exactly the same. Soon everybody is sleeping through the night and mom and dad are not zombies during the day.

a reply to: ketsuko

And that is exactly the scene you want to avoid.

a reply to: PrettyPlease1

Well its like I said after my babies were born,we are the only species that raises our young and as soon as we have them,throw them away from us in a separate sleeping quarter.If you look you will that ALL other animals that care for their young sleep with their young from the moment they are born. Then as their young get older,they start leaving them to go hunt while others watch over them.Or just for mom to get a break from them.Finally she takes them out and starts teaching them their life skills such as hunting and killing.

But humans? We have them and put them in another room and leave them to cry and deal with 'our' schedule. We really need to learn some lessons from the other social animals on how to raise our young.

originally posted by: PrettyPlease1
a reply to: butcherguy

Or maybe baby has a tummy ache from that BPA and Monsanto corn formula (good start) you fed them

All this and when they get into public education system produces nasty adults.

And these same future little Neocons and Zionists and Hail Hydra types actually think they can command the rest of the world what to :

Eat
Drink
How to live
What to believe in

Prettyplease, this was a totally uncalled for personal attack!

I agree with Butcherguy that sometimes kids need to sort it out themselves, even babies. (Of course, only if you know they're not sick, dirty, hungry)

I was a single parent with two babies and they got loads of cuddles all day, everyday, but there comes a time when they simply need to sleep. They slept with me for the first year or so, so no issue. But after that, one of my kids, who just doesn't know how to settle down needed to learn to chill out on his own. Its also important for parents sanity. Angry, exhausted parents are probably a lot worse for kids than crying themselves to sleep.

I also noticed that my kids were attuned to me on a deeper, psychic level and if I was woken by tentative cries and got stressed as in "oh, for effs sake, not again" they reacted negatively, even if in another room. If I woke and calmed my heart and mind they eased back into sleep. I experimented with it a lot and it always worked.

I do it now with our new rescue dog because he is afraid of sounds above him, usually footsteps upstairs. Same thing, if I don't react the bark turns to a low grumble and he falls asleep again.

That is so not true. Yes babies need physical contact and they need smiles and love but having them cry themselves to sleep will not make them nervous adults. Just the opposite. These babies learn to self sooth and have fewer sleep problems later. We're not talking about neglecting your child here. Just that it's ok for babies to cry. It won't hurt them at all.


reply to: PrettyPlease1