“Greetings! My name is Henk and I’m a Dojinn. The race of Dojinns are smaller than ants and have electric bright blue eyes and pointy ears. We
live in the bottom of an old brown glass bottle.
Fifty years ago, during the great glass bottle tremor of Wheeee, during the great escape attempt of Leavinboddle, our great prince got shot through
the air-giving, whistle noise making hole/aperture at the top of our sky because of the tremor.
He disappeared with a loud’ “Ahhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhh!” and the last we saw of him, us who were a part of the great escape attempt, was him flying
up through the hole and over.
The great bottle tremor of Wheee lasted a few moments and then was no more and we were left without a prince. We immortalised his last words on a
placard in the centre of town under a statue of him. Every time somebody looks upon his image the words, “Ahhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhh!” will forever be
We packed up our escape rigs after the loss of the prince, the town council declared it too dangerous to continue and that is the first and last time
any Dojinn has ever left the bottle.
As the prince, prince Doominie’s brother and second in line to the throne, the event was especially traumatic for me.
I had now become the prince of the brown bottle, a task I was willing to accept. I was a mystery solver. I had solved mystery upon mystery. Being tiny
folk, only half the size of black ant’s and living in the bottom of a brown glass bottle you can imagine how many mysteries there were to solve.
There were little mysteries and big mysteries and huge mysteries and tiny mysteries and ginormous mysteries and microscopic mysteries and colossal
mysteries and then there was THE mystery.
The biggest mystery of them all, who are we and where do we come from and the second is like it, where are we?
As the bottles official mystery solver as well as being the prince I had a lot of reign to do whatever I darn well wanted to do, you will find that
having the king and queen as parents can lend you a lot of licence and the sympathy points I got for having a missing, presumed dead brother were
handy. Often it happens to me that people don’t even look me in the eye but just say, “Go on in.” It helps me with my job.
It’s been close to fifty years since my brother disappeared. I’m busy working on THE mystery, I might be close to solving it, soon I will be able
to tell the other Dojinn in the bottle all the answers to all their ultimate questions but first I have to answer a much simpler question, what the
heck does, “Principum amicitias,” mean?
I’m taking off my dark leather hat with the long black feather in it and rubbing my little black beard thoughtfully, pointy ears pointing to the
sky. Across the river of Guiness which separates the town of Larger from the un-inhabited wasteland of Pilsner is where I am currently. No one ever
comes here because crossing the fjords of broken glass is treacherous and a few larks ago a young couple, deeply in love, got a bit involved in the
river of Guiness and were found slain in the fjord. They plummeted 150 meters to their deaths and their bodies were cut to shreds on the broken glass
There is a placard on a sign erected on the edge of the fjord now recording their last word too, strangely enough also,
I move around in our big bottle in my airship named The Icarus. The king and queen, A.K.A mom and dad, convinced the towns leather stitcher to work
with the engineers to come up with a safe way for me to travel. The Icarus is what they made.
I’m nearly at the glass wall which lies past the wastelands of Pilsner now. The great glass wall strikes me with awe everytime I see it. It’s
immense and it goes all the way up to the air giving, whistle blowing hole/aperture at the top of our sky. I gaze up to the hole, impossibly high
above me and dreams fill my small head of the day I/we might one day walk on the glass rim of the bottle in the openness beyond and perhaps catch a
clear a glimpse of the enlightened ones outside.
My airship lands gently on the scaffolding we built behind the mysterious markings of Answersinim. Long ago, other mystery solvers had noticed large
strange markings on the outside of the bottle. They saw markings what looked like this ”Saiticiam mupicnirp.”
It was the famous mystery solver Macgyver Series Longrunning who came to us and told us it was writing and it was the wrong way around. It was
“Principum amicitias, and not Saiticiam mupicnirp. ” The people rejoiced!
It was after the people stopped rejoicing that they realized they still didn’t know what the mysterious words meant but continued to rejoice, none
the less, for at least an hour longer. Macgyver Longrunning was a great man.
I too was a great man and I would also give the people great answers to great mysteries. I will give them the answer to THE great mystery and then we
I’m with my crew Joe Moor and Joe Blikzem who are chief engineers of the bottle, Rihanna Umbrella who is the airships chief navigator (and a great
singer and dancer, you should see her perform when she’s tipsy on a Friday night during karaoke at the Anchor and Whale. She has a great skill set.)
I’m with Maud Atchew the messenger, Don Giovani the captain of the ship and Jean Cloud Dammit, muscle and body guard to the prince, all aboard the
We have in our possession in our great library three ancient manuscripts which came to us long ago, one is the Tio of apologies and it says “Behold
I offer unto you this apology for I have....” the rest is torn off and unknown. The second is an advert for something called “Healthy Suds, all
natural homemade soap.” And the third manuscript is the Reconingimscrewd manuscript on which is written the words,
“Rev.....11:19..................and...... came flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder, an earthquake and a great hailstorm.”
From these great writings we have learned to read and write and speak and build great cities. Deciphering Latin I will admit is new to us.
Beyond the bottle, unbeknown to Henk and all the the Dojinns some small boys had gathered in a clearing to play a friendly game of soccer. In the
middle of their field sits a brown glass bottle. One of the small boys kicks the ball and it smacks the bottle and sends it flying deep into some
nearby bushes. Another small boy intercepts the ball and kicks hard, “Goal!” He screams! After five more minutes of playing the small children
leave the clearing tired of their game heading somewhere else to play.
Inside the bottle all is still.
It took them a while to put everything back in order. No one rejoiced. Hundreds of Dojinn died in the great Rev11:19 including Henk. They found his
airship and his body and the body’s of his crew members in the wastelands of Pilsner. When one of the search and rescue party who had been send out
found the body of Henk, they turned it over and discovered a tiny scrap of paper clutched in the dead man’s hand. On the paper were written the
words, “Principum amicitias.” – Alliance of princes. Henk had deciphered the mysterious words. The people rejoiced, he was a hero.
A portrait of him hangs in the great library now. He’s dressed in His formal mystery solver hat and jacket with the customary big black feather.
He’s portrayed in front of the Guiness river in front of the great city with the great bottles glass wall far behind him in the background. (To
edit on 3/20/2015 by HD3DSURROUNDSOUND because: (no reason given)
edit on 3/20/2015 by HD3DSURROUNDSOUND because: (no
edit on 3/20/2015 by HD3DSURROUNDSOUND because: (no reason given)