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Drinking - I'm Over It - Now What?
originally posted by: KAOStheory
Hi, I'm KAOStheory, I'm 44 years old, and I am not an alcoholic.
Nor do I want to become one.
I over-drank in high-school and college on occasion, but then not really much at all until my early '30's.
Then, I went hard. Then I stopped. Back and forth. Sometimes stopping months on end.
Sometimes binging. Sometimes just normal consumption.
In the years when I didn't really drink much (as in 2-3 Guinness and I'm done,) I would be what most would consider anti-social, or say I suffered from SAD. See, I live in Chicago. We're a drinkin' town.
And tonight, I don't want to drink. I do want to do something - with friends. I can think of about 3 I could call and one just moved out of state. And I don't want to drink tomorrow, or the next night either. I want to quit for a while and focus on my business.
I'm not an alcoholic and I don't want to go to AA. Sure, I could benefit I don't doubt it, but what I don't want to do is have to listen to the severe horror stories - I see and hear those around me every day and don't need more.
One is my roommate and I love and care about her but I can't be around the crazy drunky face party at 2am when she gets home from the bar she works at. She's annoying and I'm tired and when I try to sleep she keeps me awake all night pissed off that I won't party with her. Not trying to tell anyone else how to live, I get it. I've worked in bars, I still do a couple nights a week. But I don't drink if I don't want to. It's not impossible - one of our bartenders is a recovering alcoholic and has no problem working there.
It's not SAD or being anti-social, I just don't want to be around a bunch of drunken asses when I'm sober. It's annoying. You can't converse on the same level. I know sooo many people who admit that they "can't open up" without a few drinks, let alone be intimate?! That seems like a serious issue. I couldn't date someone who could only have drunk sex. Weird.
What's the deal ATS? Is the whole world drunk - and worse? I know most of my friends do other substances I'm not fond of as well.
I'm about 10 years older than most of my friends, do I just need new ones? Where do I find them without having to talk about God or play checkers in the park?
I just need to go to bed at a decent hour and wake up in the morning with a clear mind, functioning memory, and healthy body.
I'm not ready for the retirement home quite yet, but I'm not a young crazy party animal anymore either.
Anyone else experiencing a similar situation or has in the past?
Thanks for reading.
originally posted by: MichiganSwampBuck
Get back into things you liked to do before you started drinking, even if it has to be activities you did when you were just a kid. Build models, ride a bicycle, fly a kite, whatever. Do things you enjoy that never had an association with drinking and getting drunk.
Go to parties with your friends if you want, but it will be hard to avoid drinking in those situations and at first the vibe will be different for you when you see how really stupid they act when they get a buzz on and you don't.
Socializing with other straight people can be a drag at first as well. Eventually you will feel better about being sober and can handle all social situations without a beer, but whatever you do, just do something that you like to do that has no previous connection to drinking.
Of course, if you always had a beer when you were doing most recreational activities, that might be difficult to do. Anyway good luck, you'll do fine after about a month after you disconnect drinking from your normal fun time.
originally posted by: Quetzalcoatl14
Also, yes, something I have considered a lot recently is that we legitimately live in a widespread drug culture. By drug culture I mean including alcohol, prescription drugs, and illegal drugs. But even just with alcohol, there are bars and liquor stores EVERYWHERE.
originally posted by: one4all
a reply to: KAOStheory
It might be a good idea to replace the anti-parasitic effects your drinking habits were giving you.
originally posted by: MichiganSwampBuck
a reply to: Quetzalcoatl14
So true, you will find which friendships are the most solid when you stop making booze the focus of relationships. Being there for friends that need your help will show you right away.
My GF and I went and visited a couple we are friends with and invited them to dinner the next day, they were all into the idea and were going to have dinner with us until another partying couple invited them over and had beer to offer in the mix. So, of course we got the last minute excuses for not coming over. They are having money issues and can't afford having beer around their place, so if the offer includes some beer and partying, a plain old meal isn't going to cut it with them. This goes with any codependent type relationship, just a good meal and socializing isn't enough when you don't offer whatever it is they really want, be it beer, Mary Jane, a ride into work, a small "loan" or a pack of smokes, etc.
There are some in this circle that are changing their ways and beginning to see that, some are getting back to church even. It's unfortunate that many times this includes cutting off long standing relationships that don't fit the new life they are seeking. Often the church goer types will get that holier than thou attitude when they get excepted into that new circle, that will get you cut off when you've cleaned up your act, but don't do the church deal.