Hello ATS, long time no see. I hope everyone's been well. If I'm lucky, I'll see a familiar face or two that recognizes me. If I'm fortunate, I'll
make a few new friends with my return.
This will probably go on for too long and eventually it may sound like random rambling. Bear with me.
Down to business.
I'm twenty-four years old, male. Sporadically, and rarely, over the past eight or so years, there has been a reoccurring woman character in some of my
dreams. I must first explain that it is rare that I dream about myself. Rare as in a 1/3 chance. More often than not it's as if I'm watching random
characters interact in a movie and I have no physical body or consciousness or I'm actually an entirely different person with different
thoughts/desires/motivations/perceptions with no concept of "TheOneElectric".
However, sometimes I dream the standard dream. You know, the one of being "me" lost to the the whims of my subconscious dreamscape. In those dreams I
sometimes see, sense, or speak with this woman. I don't know here name, I've never been lucid enough to ask. I regret that that, and feel guilty about
it. I can best describe her as lithe, raven haired, fair skinned, and dark eyed. Her eyes are kind of like mine, large and intimidating. I think
that's what drew me into her first. I can't tell if she's Caucasian or Eurasian. Last night she was more Eurasian than anything. Though, even that is
an improper description.
I guess a description isn't important. Though, if I were to guess, it would would help give the reader a bone so that the imagination could do its
thing. For the longest time, I could "sense" her or feel her in my heart even if I couldn't see her. The first heavy dream where in I actually saw her
occurred almost six years ago when I had a dream involving me being drunk and poisoned. Doesn't sound too pleasant, does it? Yeah, well, you'd be
wrong about that. It was actually one of my more memorable dreams, one of my favorite dreams. In the dream, I drank a lot with friends and joked about
the good times. What good times would an eighteen year old me be nostalgic about? I don't know, sometimes I feel as if I transcend the normal
perceptions of the linear temporal existence when I sleep. But see, now I'm getting away from the story and causing you to roll your eyes. Sorry. So,
I was drinking and somehow fell ill due to some adverse substance in the alcohol, alcohol. My friends stated that they had to move on, and that we
would meet again at some point. Drunkenly, I waved them away, but attempted to follow them. They were heading to the down town party district of this
fantastical city. I followed as long as I could. I fell at the edge of a fountain and propped myself against it. The group considered helping me along
for a moment or two, but decided against it. From there I remember growing rather despondent over my inability to follow them. There was this thought
in my mind, 'not this time, but maybe next time.'
A female in the group then turned to the rest and, with a smile, said, "You guys go ahead, we'll be fine. We'll catch up later
" The group gave
their final farewell and disappeared into the depths of the city. The woman sat on the edge of this marble fountain, and at that moment I noticed
three things. Her dress was a deep emerald green, her hair was long and dark as the night sky, and her eyes were just large enough to be considered
unnatural. Ok, I'm a liar. I noticed five things. Her smile was disarming, and she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen.
She smiled at me for a moment or two and then laughed at my attempts to stand up straight and sit on the edge by her side. I ignored it and persisted
in my struggle. I began vomiting needles. The pain, yes pain in a dream, was unbearable. The alcohol or poison made everything heavy and uneven.
However, for some reason or another, it was important that I sit next to her. Call it love at first sight. I pushed on, trying my best to summon a
strength that wasn't there. Eventually, she took hold of my hand and guided me to my feet. I was cured, just like that. She then laughed a little bit
more, peered into my eyes, and then pulled me behind her as she ran off into the night. I don't remember what we talked about or the places she showed
me, but we stopped by a dozen of her favorite spots on the city. When I write about the dream it seems unremarkable and fairly mundane. But, as
always, there's context. I've never felt a human to human desire/connection like that one ever before.
Every dream I have that features me has a tinge of that feeling, almost as if she is somewhere close. I always feel her, I don't always realize it,
but I always feel her; but, I don't see her, not often. Last night was an exception. I had a dream about myself working in a law firm. My supervisor
decided he was going to work longer and to sleep in the office. I bid him farewell and attempted to avoid some of the head partners on my way out so
that I wasn't asked to stay past 9pm as well. I got back to this mansion that I shared with about fifty other people, and somehow I knew that the
woman was in a common room. I went up to the room, and as you can guess, she was there. She gave me a smile, but somehow I knew that this was a
different type of smile. While it gave off all the signals of happiness and joy, it hid a deep sadness. She was laying on this couch/bed type piece of
furniture. I went over an laid next to her. She sat up and took my hand in hers as she laid my head in her lap. We sat there, gazing at one another
for a few moments. We then began random small talk before I asked her to "lay with me." Now, before you let your imagination run wild, I literally
meant lay down. Sorry, this isn't turning into "50 shades of this is entirely inappropriate' any time soon. She told me no as she stroked my forehead
with her free hand. Something in her voice told me something awful was approaching. Another tenant of the mansion came into the room , sat beside her,
whispered something in her ear, and put his arm around her. I am not a violent man. I can't recall being able to do anything violent in dreams where
in I exist. However, there's a first time for everything. I remember bolting up, grabbing the mans neck from the side with one arm and squeezing. He
turned red fairly quickly. There was no thought, no anger, just action. That's what makes this strange for me. There was no anger in what I did. It
was simply a matter of fact action. Now, at this point, my dream woman made eye contact with me and gently shook her head as if to tell me that "this
wasn't the reason she refused to lay with me/he wasn't a threat/we don't have time for this because this isn't the awful thing".
I let the man go, he rubbed his neck and walked off. I then said, "I hate him. I love him, but you know I hate him. I don't like him around you."
She ignored that and took my face in her hands and said, "I'm leaving at eight. I'm flying in the morning."
For a while I just stared into her eyes. I knew what she was saying was true, and I didn't care. I didn't want to lose her, I didn't want to be
"Can we at least try?" I remember asking, attempting in vain not to sound as sad as I felt.
Her hand caressed my cheek before I felt it snake around to the back of my neck. She pulled me down onto the bed. There we lay cuddled together,
spooning. I closed my eyes, and as darkness enveloped the scene, I woke up.
edit on 8-3-2015 by TheOneElectric because: (no reason