a reply to: FamCore
Sounds like you've experienced that "high" of getting clean and everything is great again. And now you're down off that high and the demons are
rearing their heads again.
This is where it gets tough for addicts, as you are experiencing. Normality, mundane everyday life.
You have to learn to live with the demons or dark clouds as you say, because this is your life now.
Remind yourself how crap your life was, how dark and grey everything seemed.
Your health is your wealth. If you feel that doing what you do now is bringing you backwards, change it.
DO NOT GO BACKWARDS.
Even though its a new job and new town etc.
If the stressful long hours is making you think of drugs then you need to change that situation.
Hard as that would be, what else will you do? Go scoring? Go backwards?
I feel for man i really do.
As you said how do you recharge the batteries? Where can the next life-high come from?
Inside you, obviously.
You did break through to a new place, a new you. A new life. Sober, drug free.
This bit you said here,
but the thoughts are always there, and when I am emotionally compromised it seems to be something that is tougher to ignore/overpower.
The thoughts will always be there. Time, as you know is a great healer. The more days you put in between the last time you used and today, those
thoughts will get easier to deal with bit by bit.
Remind yourself how crap your life was.
Get more clean days under your belt and i promise you those dark clouds will get easier to deal with.
PM me anytime man im on ATS everyday, i mean it. Do it.
Here's something i wrote about my addiction linked here
KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND YOU'LL KEEP GETTING WHAT YOU'RE GETTING
edit on 3/3/15 by SecretKnowledge because: added the last line