Here I am to totally glitch the Matrix by writing a thread about the specific subject of having writers block ( or disinterest maybe ) to the degree
of not being able to write a thread.
That's right. I'm writing about not being able to write.
My left eye just twitched a bit. So if yours did as well, it's totally understandable. Then again it could also mean that we're all having
synchronized strokes, which would fit the thematics of this thread anyway. Whatever the case, don't call for help until you finish reading this
because my ego matters!
I am assuming that many of you know who I am, and that at least some of you are aware that, for a very long time ( apart from a years absence ) it was
my habit to write threads fairly prodigiously. Don't pay attention to the numbers on my profile - I wasn't that prodigious. Being a mod means
creating a lot of alerts and alerts show as created threads - as they do create an alert thread in the secret place known as modland. The real number
of threads I've created is something closer to 180-200 - a click on my profile will bring up a list. I put a LOT of work into many of those threads.
Others, not so much. But mostly I did seek to add to the conversation and to be as accurate as possible with facts.
Writing has always been my passion - the thing that I do simply because I have a very deep and inexplicable need to do so. Even when I don't post
things I write to message boards or publicly, I still write just for my own benefit. Things that will never see the light of day. Diaries and short
stories meant for nobody. Just a way to sate the urge for creation with words.
That is until about a month ago.
What happened, I do not know. What i do know is that the words that have always filled my mind, day and night, went silent without any warning. The
desire to write just evaporated like dew on a late spring morning and I have been sitting here, patiently, since - waiting for it to return. Waiting
for my mind to explode, once again, back into 20 different levels of thought - leaving me nearly unable to record it all.
Yet here I am, internally as still as a small pond in the mountains. A few tiny ripples, but no waterfalls or waves.
Is this writers block? I cannot say.
Have I reached some sort of spiritual peace that has quelled the racing mind? Again, I just don't know.
What I do know is that I desperately want
the inspiration to write to return. That is the entire reason I find myself sitting here writing
about being unable to write! No divine spark? Fine. I'll use my keyboard like a flint and keep striking this som'bitch until something catches fire!
I am determined to keep at it until the moment arrives when inspiration, once again, floods my thoughts and I find myself thinking "Oh, damn, I have
to write a thread about that RIGHT NOW!"
ATS has a LOT of people who have the same connection to the written medium as I have. People who write because they are driven to do so. I am left to
ask - is this a common thing that others have lived through? This total silence from the normal internal cacauphony of ideas? Is this some right of
passage that writers endure? Is this normal?
Please talk to me those who love the written word - let me know how this ordeal ends and where it heads because the idea of never wanting to write
again is equal, in my eyes, to the idea of never breathing again. I cannot abet either notion.
Thanks in advance for any replies and, as always, thanks for reading!