Jehovas Witness Bothering My Neighbor Today Bothered Me

A friend of mine had a huge Rottweiler dog that tended to open the storm door by himself by slamming against it when someone knocked.

The Jehovah's Witnesses only visited there once.

Funny story... I had a room mate in college. He was a pretty major stoner. When I'd get back from class, he'd sometimes have stories about how he invited the JWs or Mormons or fill-in-the-blank solicitors into the house when they knocked. He got a big kick out of just letting them ramble on while he toked up on his big water bong (named "Charles," yeah... he named his bong).

One day (and I was home this time so I know it's true and not some pot head hallucination) there's a knock on the door. He looks out the peep hole and gets all excited - well as excited as a couch potato stoner can get - and says something like, "Cooool, dude. Jehovas Witnesses... Watch me F with them."
So he goes through his whole routine. I was bored before it even started so I was in the other room and I start hearing things like, "What's your highest level of education," "How long have you lived at this address," etc...

Turns out it was the census lady. He had not a clue.

She just looked at me with pleading in her eyes for me to either save her from my roomie (and "Charles") or put her out of her misery by tightly holding one of the sofa cushions over her face. I left the apartment (and thankfully found better room mates about a month later).

My technique is to tell the witnesses I'm a devoted Mormon and Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God. Then if the Mormons come around, I tell them I'm a witness. The problem can be that they have some pat answers for that so you may need to just say it politely and send them on there way quickly, perhaps have some tracts in hand to give them as they go.

Of course you can tell them you're atheist, agnostic, pagan, satanic or converted Muslim, take your pick. Just be polite and send them off quickly or they will give you the sales pitch. A simple, "thanks, but I'm not interested" should be enough, but you may need to ramp it up a bit.

The JHVH guys can be annoying if you let them. I generally handle them with kindness and respect.
I dragged a couple of them into helping me with some garden work once.
You don't have to worry about them mooching your beer.

Never had them knock on our door. If they ever do I'll just be polite about it, and listen. It could be interesting to talk, I don't know how open they are to religious discussions. Not to mention those things are can be time consuming and they have other doors to knock on.

I did want to see how other people responded to them, when this thread popped up but had no replies. So I went to reddit and found a funny anecdote:

half_robinhood 0 points 3 years ago

Open the door dressed as the other one...

If Mormon knocks, setup as Jehovah;s witness and if jehovah, show up as mormon...

My neighbor had this down to a science...

He had main door and adjoining small room which led to his main living room...

In his living room he had a revolving cabinet, one side all Mormon, you rotate it by 180 degrees other side all Jehovah....

It was quite dominant and you could not miss it....

I setup wireless video for him, so that we could record and sometimes if ti worked watched from my house or his upstairs bedroom...

He would leave them alone for few minutes with the cabinet and then come back...those few minutes were the funniest ever

Few years ago, I was up one bright sunny Saturday morning, did some work and decided to treat myself to a sumptuous cooked breakfast (the full works, crispy bacon, sausages, pudding, etc etc.

When ready I sat down to my feast and ........knock knock!
I jumped up and opened the door intending to quickly dismiss my interupter.

Two J.W smiled at me and asked me if I knew about the 'kingdom of heaven'

I politely smiled and said 'Yes! its waiting on my plate for me inside!' And closed the door.

Upon returning I found that my dog had found his own heaven in the form of my unguarded breakfast.

I never answer my door unless I know the person or I'm expecting someone. Simples. Also, my dogs go pretty crazy and act like they are trying to get to the person on the other side of the door in order to tear them apart. That usually is enough to make people give up pretty quick. Consequently, I have never spoken to a Jehovah's witness or a Morman, at least not while I was at home.

If I was in my front yard when they came around, I imagine I would simply say not interested and go inside. Again, I think the reactions from the dogs just inside the door would stop the JWs from going any further.

Dogs are awesome.

I was raised a JW, so Ive been on the other side of the door, more than I would like to remember or admit. But, they have a "territory" card that you check out when going out in "service" (door to door). It keeps track of when the last time a neighborhood was pestered. But, on the back of the card is a list of all the addresses that they avoid. The homeowners can request that they not call upon them. So, tell them to stop coming or you will call the police, they will put your address on the back of the card. Just tell them to put you on the "no knock" list.

Also, I left the faith in my early 20s, im in my 50s now. My mom isnt allowed to speak to me or my kids. I ran into her 2 times and she didnt recognize me. She walked up once in a restaurant, to tell me what a beautiful little girl I had. I just stood there dumbfounded. She didnt realize the beautiful child was her grandchild. Yes, I cried for a week.

a reply to: Foderalover
Invite them in, and tell them this, if you're inclined to talk with them: We are the other people. Originally posted by member Starwise.

"We have no need for salvation because we don't have original sin. We are the Other People."

a reply to: Foderalover

Screw getting naked--I just tell them that I'm an atheist and see if they want to continue the discussion. If they do, 9/10 times I end up having to school them on what the Bible actually says and means. But, most of the time, I just say that I've already tried religion and that it's not my idea of an intelligent way to live. They don't generally waste their time on me after that.

a reply to: misskat1

I studied with JW for two years. My older brother is an Elder. When we meet we often discuss the JW beliefs and he remains committed even though he lost his son at the age of 30, who just got married and had a child himself. He died from Colitis. He would have survived had he be able to follow the doctor's advice but Jehovah Witnesses and their beliefs have a policy about blood. Of course there was a time when JW were allowed blood treatments, then yes, then no..... back and forth.

When they come knocking I let them in and talk with them with the hope they can see the error in their beliefs. Often I challenge them to only study the bible and to stop reading the Watchtower booklets and they will see that those Watchtower publications are misleading them but the manipulation is too great. Many can not walk away because like you they will loose their family.

What a shame but that is the way it is when dealing with cult beleifs.

a reply to: DeathSlayer

My sisters baby almost died because of the no blood issue. She begged the Drs to take the child away from her, so they could save her live. Which they did, and even today my sister has a "clear conscience" and her daughter is alive and well. That sister hasnt spoken to me for over 30 yrs.

Evil pure and simple. Wolves in Sheep's clothing.

originally posted by: misskat1

Also, I left the faith in my early 20s, im in my 50s now. My mom isnt allowed to speak to me or my kids. I ran into her 2 times and she didnt recognize me. She walked up once in a restaurant, to tell me what a beautiful little girl I had. I just stood there dumbfounded. She didnt realize the beautiful child was her grandchild. Yes, I cried for a week.

That is such a sad story. You are a very strong person and did not deserve such awful circumstances. Human life is so brief and there is enough sadness in the world without some made up 'doctrines' inserting themselves into peoples lives and creating misery. Which as far as I can see is the main legacy of religion in general.

I can only hope that the mothers love denied to you by them and their dogma, blossoms two fold from you to your children.
'And bring back balance to the force' - to paraphrase another mythology.

a reply to: HumansEh

Thank you, I appreciate your blessing. It was really hard.

My husband got rid of a couple in FL once after they asked if he wanted the hear their crap. "No, I'm Wiccan. But you can read your old stories to my kids if you want so I can get some little repairs in here accomplished!"

They left in a hell of a hurry and never came back, lmao.

Growing up we lived miles up an old country road. The dogs could easily spot another person forever off in the distance so we knew it was a car or JW's. We used to hide from them. My mom would yell out at us and get us in the house, then close all the blinds and we would peek at them from behind the blinds. They KNEW we were looking at them, but we would just giggle and pretend they didn't see us. Eventually they gave up from us never answering the door.

When they came around the dorm when my dad was in college, he would always graciously invite them in for a game of cards because he and whoever was in the room somehow always needed that exact number of players. My dad would always offer to listen to them over the game of cards, but somehow, none of them would accept.

a reply to: kaylaluv

Not answering the door is really the best option.
Any one going door to door, regardless of the reason, wants you just to open that door so they can get the pitch out.
Practice makes perfect, don't let them hone their skills on ya.

And yes, dogs help a lot

I've had my own run-ins with the JWs and others and they're usually a pain. I recommend a sign that simply says "Please, no solicitation of any type". That covers it all and when they try and launch their spiel just ask if they can read and point the other way. If they become upset or angry just ask if you must call the police for felony trespass and point away from your residence.
?

Most will take the hint and leave but the world is full of nuts so keep the home defense near and know how to use it. My best,

a reply to: ladyteeny

lol sounds like they just dont like you and my grandaughters maternal grandma ..........uh isnt that just grandma