a reply to: randyvs
Randy, it seems like we might be able to come to a point of mutual understanding here.
I truly do understand your compassion for the students and teachers who found the body. I do.
But, I also feel for the woman who felt this was the way she needed to go. Who was in such a f&cked up state of being that THIS
was how she
felt she needed to do it.
Why do I feel this way? Well, two main reasons.
First and foremost, I deal on a day to day basis with my own demons. Demons that tell me I am such a pathetic excuse for a human being, that I might
as well just end it all here and now. I've let the ones I love down, let myself down, let people who depended on me down. I've been fired almost
regularly. Hell, my teachers were onto something when they expressed frustration in me over the years. Hell, maybe all the teasing I've received
over my life was deserved! Give me a f8cking gun, give it to me now.
Second, as an adult and a parent, I cannot prevent the full frontal life experience exposure from hitting my children. Life is ugly. Even the act of
physically making love is a grotesque and disgusting thing when viewed from a certain angle. Life has good parts to it. Friendship, family,
experience, and love. All of these things are good. But, they do not come in a sanitized package ready for consumption stamped by the FDA.
So, am I saying that it's alright for me to go and kill myself by blowing my brains out in front of my family at sunday dinner? Hell no. I'd
really rather do *anything* else in the world than that. But, I know that I do NOT know precisely where my line in the sand is when dealing with
these things. Just as much as I don't know where yours is.
And honestly, I'm not certain you or anyone else truly understands where that line is either.
WHAT HAPPENED WAS ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE, AND ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING SHOULD BE DONE TO HELP PREVENT THIS KIND OF THING FROM HAPPENING AGAIN.
I just cannot bring myself to crucify the person who felt they had no other options open to themselves. Life is a series of interconnections. Every
single thing you do has the potential to effect me, my children, and the stranger next to me. This being said, I just feel that for such a horrible
thing to happen, the best we can do is look to learn from it. To use it as an opportunity reach out, and express our love and caring for each other,
and provide a foundation of trust where hopefully the next person such as this teacher can understand that they can reach out, find help, and find
something that they previously didn't know existed.