posted on Feb, 26 2015 @ 03:04 AM
Let me give you the facts, im 26 in april, female and grew up in the 90's - Early 2000's in a poor part of Leeds (UK) In a very poor and somewhat
toxic family. Sob story over, this is the story of how i learned not to be a boy.
From an early age i was never the type of child to want to sit still for long periods of time, i could easily play with other toddler's and i could
easily play by myself because i just had the imagination to do so. When i started nursery that's where i began to notice how girl's were different
than boys. The first incident of how i rejected "being a girl" was when we did this play and all the girl's were dressed in make shift Hawaii dress
- You know, a skirt and effectually, a bra. WE were expected to perform half naked in front of strangers (everyone's parents but strangers to
I was not having it. I remember telling them repeatedly i wasn't doing such a thing but they weren't having any of it. My objection, as far as i
could explain, was that i didn't like the "clothing" I wasn't able to tell them that i found it to be to exposing. They forced me to do it
anyway, i would have rather just sat it out. All the other girl's were well up for it, good for them.
Growing up further, a year or so later, i was so bored at play time. I found that GIRLS were boring. All they wanted to do was play jump rope,
hopscotch, make a play etc. BORRRRINNNGGGG. The adventurer in me wanted a little more fun than that, So i started playing football (Soccer to you
americans) WITH THE LADS.
I had to earn my place mind. Spent many matches, many play times in goal, but eventually i won them over and i wasn't the last person picked and i
wasn't always in goal. I'd finally found something i could enjoy in life. But surprise surprise, people spent a lot of time ruining that for me. I
remember two teacher's confronting me about playing football in the playground and actually SCOFFING at me, like there was something odd about what i
To make thing's a bit worse (why not eh) I came from a very poor family as mentioned and i had an older brother. I also grew up next to 2 boys next
door who were the same ages as me and my bro - I got a lot of hand me down's of "boys" clothes I.E trackies, sports tops etc. My parents were so
poor, they NEVER bought ME clothes, so up until the point of around 14-15, i never got to choose what i wore, which only added to the abuse i got for
not acting "like a girl"
Back to growing up as a child. I had inevitably been labeled the term "Tomboy" - Now, let me make this clear, i am not a tom and i am not a boy. I
take full offense to this term as an adult. First of all, you're insulting my gender by proclaiming i am a boy because i do "Boy things" and second
of all, there is a boy's name in that term, and again, i am not a boy so stop insinuating that i am one.
When i did start being able to buy my own clothes i was so used to wearing trackies that it felt very VERY strange to wear tight fitting jean's,
although with it being the fashion of the early 2000's, i was put under a lot of peer pressure to follow suit, reluctantly i did.
But again, what it all came back down to was what was acceptable for boys and what was acceptable for girls. By that time of my life the divide was
still clear - The boys wore all the comfortable stuff and their gender was never questioned but the girls HAD to wear tight jeans, nice tops etc to
show off their bodies. And then be labeled sluts for sleeping with boys. Still doesn't make much sense to me.
Never in my life did i say "I want to be a boy" But it just seemed BEYOND society at that point to accept that this is girl who wants be active and
play sports that are not boring! I wanted to ride my bike for hours at a time, build tree house's and dens, travel far and wide and explore the city
i was born into and come home just before dark in time for tea and early enough to not p!ss off my parents.
The people around me had such a problem with it that they tried to convince me that Ihad a problem. They consistently asked me "why do you
want to be a boy" "why do you act like a boy" "why do you never do nice girly things"
And all i could ever think was "I don't want to be a boy... I like my body... i have no issues with my body... why cant YOU understand that your
version of being a girl is tedious??"
And being a girl IS tedious - But some people like playing with doll's and pretending to be mother's. Some people like playing skipping rope and
making plays so they can practice being drama queen for when they get older.
Only 2 weeks ago, at work, did a boy/man start questioning the way i dressed. I can only facepalm that someone would have an issue with me wearing a
shirt and some smart work trousers. Apparently... You guessed it, i dress like a boy.
Im not saying being a boy is easy but i could have avoided most of the bullying and questioning of my gender had i simply been born with a penis - How
stupid is that? Although i am slightly happy about all the crap ive been through, you see, a girl who i went to school with had a little girl of her
own who is EXACTLY as i was as a child and im so happy to see that her mother supports it and doesnt paint her room pink and buy her stupid little
doll's in order to convince her to "act like a girl"
We are who we are and people need to get over that and top judging other's for doing what makes them happy.