Marriage is a good idea.

a reply to: wasaka

Well, that rather depends on why it will end badly.

If you are saying, that probabilistic analysis suggests that the endeavour has a higher percentage chance of failure, than success, and moreover that the percentage chance of failure is so much larger than the chance of success, that the entire notion is better discarded than acted upon, then I say poppycock. If we all thought about things in such a dry manner, then no one would fall in love with anyone on this planet, ever, such is the potential for being screwed over as a result. The fact that this still happens, is testament to how important probability is when it comes to choices like this.

If however, what you mean is that your friends know you well enough to know, that some unresolved issues you have make the endeavour of marriage a really bloody poor idea, and that the only thing that keeps them quiet on that point is a wish to see you smile for the first time in a long time, no matter how potentially psychologically devastating the consequences might be, well that is an entirely different matter.

I have to ask, precisely what lead to your posting of this statement of frustration? A little context goes a long way, but a lack of it impedes understanding entirely!

a reply to: wasaka

im 35 been married 13 yrs an together 15 and believe you me brother the smartes thing ever to come
out of my mouth was to my wife i said will you marry me ...................by far .

Its not bad the first year if you get through that its smooth up until seven yrs then you or she gets whats called the 7 yr itch

you get through that its smooth sailing ............or at least so far.

marriage is a job you have to work on it every day you got to give and get compromise .
Do all kinds of stuff you dont wanna do but you will be glad you did an do every day

Marriage is not always a bad thing as many others here have said. I got married right after I turned 20 to a guy I knew for 3 months... A short couple of weeks later, I was expecting. Next month we will have been married for 18 years.

As MB stated.. It takes work. It takes A LOT of work. But anything in life worth having is worth working for. It's nothing like the movies and it's not as bad as some divorcees describe it. In short... It is (99% of the time) EXACTLY what you and your spouse make it.

Lust wears off and if you are lucky, love is left behind. Too many people confuse love with lust. That leads to a ton of problems IMO.

I'm no Dr. Phil and I could likely file for divorce in the next year... Who knows? But that can happen to anyone. The key is to find someone that the risk is well worth the reward.

I am 31 and have already gone through a divorce. But I am not scared to get married again. I am just going to wait longer, by dating and living with the woman longer, the second time. The first time I got married after knowing the girl for only six months and living with her for only one month. She got pregnant right after. Then she cheated with a lot of people while pregnant. Both male and female. Turns out she was bi-polar and she blamed the cheating on her condition. Gave her a chance to stay on her meds and be faithful. She did not. So, got a divorce, a paternity test, and a std test. Thankfully I passed both tests.

I guess I am still a romantic though. I did not become jaded over the situation. It was a learning experience and not all of it was bad. I will probably get married again to the woman I am living with currently. We have lived together for over a year. We already pretty much act like we are married. We love each other. We are faithful to each other. We live together. She is the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up. I told her If we make it five years living together without getting sick of each other. We will then get married officially. She is perfectly okay with that. So in my book she is a keeper. I have loved her a little more each day since we met.

So I am a romantic or a fool. Depending on which side of the coin you want to believe in.

Birth > School > Job > Family > Death.

Sounds like a pretty #tty cycle to me.

originally posted by: OrphanApology

marriage without a pre-nup is idiotic at best.

What is this pre-nup thing?
I truely don't understand why it is so prevalant.
Is it an American obsession? What happened to "For better or for worse"
Marriage is not a contract.

Happy Days OP
WIS