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Marriage is a good idea.

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posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 12:55 PM
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If I told anyone I planned to get married they would say, "Congratulations..."
...but if they were honest with me they would say, "That's a bad idea"

They mean it will end badly, which I sure it will, but that fact doesn't make it a bad idea.




posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 12:58 PM
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So you're not getting married....?

Then whats with the post? Some people are genuine, you know.



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 12:59 PM
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originally posted by: wasaka
If I told anyone I planned to get married they would say, "Congratulations..."
...but if they were honest with me they would say, "That's a bad idea"

They mean it will end badly, which I sure it will, but that fact doesn't make it a bad idea.


I thought it was a given that your first marriage is just practice. At least in America...stastistics bear me out too.


www.divorcemag.com...

Bad ideas; perhaps....I'm still friends and lovers with my exwives; granted it can get complicated at times.
edit on 22-2-2015 by olaru12 because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 01:00 PM
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a reply to: wasaka

Only the jaded will tell you it is a bad idea.

Unless of course they know more about your relationship and feel it is rushed or legitimately not a good idea for what ever reason.



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 01:06 PM
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a reply to: wasaka

I've never told anyone marriage was a bad idea(or have I? I can't remember, but I don't think I have).

I have told friends/relatives that marriage without a pre-nup is idiotic at best.

They didn't listen of course.



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 01:18 PM
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Marriage = grief!
Not many marriages are 'wonderful'
I must be jaded then!
edit on 22-2-2015 by RP2SticksOfDynamite because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 01:23 PM
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originally posted by: wasaka
If I told anyone I planned to get married they would say, "Congratulations..."
...but if they were honest with me they would say, "That's a bad idea"

They mean it will end badly, which I sure it will, but that fact doesn't make it a bad idea.


Not all marriages fail. It takes two to make a marriage work, it's WORK. It's not easy.
I am going through a divorce because my husband doesnt want to do the work required. He does now but I"m not in love with him nor love him in that way anymore, haven't for a very long time. He made his choices all the while ignoring what I was telling him.

I still believe in marriage and being with your "soul mate" for life. I'm hopeless romantic though, "The Notebook" is one of my favorite movies for heaven's sake. I believe in the "ONE." That one person will love you no matter what, won't try and change you and will let you be yourself around them. They take the walls down. I never had any of that with my husband. I probably shouldn't have married him but I thought I was in love and doing the right thing. He did give me a son, one I was told was not possible to have so I have a child thanks to him. I don't hate him, we just do not match or aren't compatible in any way. As friends we are better, we started off as friends, great friends. Over time I noticed things and of course the whole "love is blind" applied to me as well. I am very cautious of people and can read BS from a mile away and even though my instincts told me over time it wasn't going to work I tried, he didn't.

I am 36 and was never married before so I think I made it that far at least! LOL I am not against getting married again one day but I tell you what it won't be fast and I would have to know the person a LOOOOONG time. I am fine with a commitment ceremony. I mean marriage is really just for the government and taxes and insurance purposes OH and let's not forget LAWYERS! They make a killing on a divorce. All joking aside if you love someone you don't need to be "married" to be committed to them. You can have your own "marriage" it doesn't need to be anything official. If it's official for the two of you then that is all that matters.

Good luck. I can't really tell what your post is about other than a rant about marriage.



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 01:23 PM
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Just do yourself a favor and make sure you like the person you will be marrying. It's not about sex; it's about finding someone you just plain enjoy being with as a person. My husband is both lover and best friend. He's also my first and only marriage. It's also about learning to accommodate the other person and them being willing to accommodate you. Neither of you will be the same, but you neither one should expect the other to do all the changing. It's a mutual process.

Or as he says, "Find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with ... even if you could never have sex with them again!"
edit on 22-2-2015 by ketsuko because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 01:30 PM
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a reply to: wasaka

Marriage isn't a bad idea.

Marrying an incompatable nutjob is though.



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 01:50 PM
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originally posted by: ketsuko
Just do yourself a favor and make sure you like the person you will be marrying. It's not about sex; it's about finding someone you just plain enjoy being with as a person. My husband is both lover and best friend. He's also my first and only marriage. It's also about learning to accommodate the other person and them being willing to accommodate you. Neither of you will be the same, but you neither one should expect the other to do all the changing. It's a mutual process.

Or as he says, "Find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with ... even if you could never have sex with them again!"


Good Advice. This is why marriage is a good idea. It can change you and the
other people in good ways... making you both better human beings.

The problem is the advice you outlined is seldom rightly understood
and applied. As a result, for many, marriage something less than ennobling.

Marriage can be a bad idea--when we host memes about what the ideal
marriage SHOULD BE (based on "family values" tradition and you social
conditioning). Few people can see their own flawed thinking, and their
failure to be honest with themselves make all their expectations flawed.
For them, marriage is a bad idea.

But, nevertheless, marriage is a noble ideal. People can make it work
even if they came into it with a host of stupid selfish memes. But it
seem these days, people cling to memes more than the ideal of being
married. The whole agreement has changed and lost meaning.

It is just me, or do fewer and fewer people value their own good character
AND fewer and fewer are willing to reach for ANY noble idea?



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 02:03 PM
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a reply to: wasaka

Love is never a bad idea,marriage only sucks when the decisions you make are bad and don't know when you have surrounded yourself with good people or toxic people.

However,I am still a tad up from being a groomsman in October and have to be a groomsman again this July.
I always cry at weddings LOL.



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 02:26 PM
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My parents were married for 65 years ... still in love ... though Dad has passed away this year

I have never married ... had plenty of relationships ... all of which I have learnt and grown from ... some quicker than others

Recently dumped ... But you know what ... the person who dumped me is still a very good friend

In fact every one of my relationships has ended in a good friendship

So long as one has respect and cares about the other ... all is good even when it seems bad



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 02:31 PM
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Run Forrest, RUN!!!



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 02:40 PM
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a reply to: wasaka

Marraige for women is an excellent investment typically. For men, it's downright risky.

Here is part of my post from my MGTOW thread:



www.abovetopsecret.com...




Why? A man getting married has about a 30% chance that his spouse will divorce him. Around 85% of women will receive primary custody of their children. Over 75% of men (of divorces with children) will have to pay child support. A staggering 68% of all divorces are initiated by the female (in heterosexual relationships). Women are right on par (statistically) to cheat against their spouse. Huffington post reported that only 3% of men recieve alimony.


There really is no reason for a man to get married besides religious purpose.



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 02:42 PM
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Both sets of my grandparents were together for over 30 years and they did well. The ones on my mom's side almost got divorced a few years before I was born but they stuck with it. I'd love to find the right woman to marry but at my age (42) I've more or less given up.



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 02:58 PM
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Perhaps Les Dawson had it right

I said to the chemist, 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said, 'Why?' I said, 'She keeps waking up.

I upset the wife's mother the other Guy Fawkes Night. I fell off the fire

She told me it was her 30th birthday. So I put thirty candles on her cake arranged in the shape of a question mark

I said to my wife, 'Treasure' - I always call her Treasure, she reminds me of something that's just been dug up

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects

I was lying in bed the other morning playing a lament on my euphonium when the wife, who was prising her teeth out of an apple, looked back at me and said softly, 'Joey.' She calls me Joey because she always wanted a budgie. She said, 'I'm homesick.' I said, 'But precious one, this is your home.' She said, 'I know, and I'm sick of it.'

I said to the wife, 'I wish you wouldn't smoke in bed.' She said, 'But a lot of women do.' I said, 'Not bacon they don't.'

I'm not saying the wife's ugly, but last christmas she stood under the mistle toe waiting for someone to kiss and she was still there at lent. In fact she went to see that film the Elephant Man and the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.

Then of course there is always the Mother in law to contend with ......

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

The wife's Mother said, "When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave." I said: "Good, I'm being buried at sea."

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussard's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking'

Of course then there are the kids ....

Kids are maturing so much earlier now. Every Sunday I've been taking my six-year-old over to the park to play on the swings and the slides. Last Sunday he refused to go. He said he's too old for that sort of thing. So now I'll have to play on the swings on my own

www.jokes4us.com...

edit on 22-2-2015 by artistpoet because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 03:45 PM
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a reply to: wasaka

Well...former rock touring musician... 3 marriages later and 40 years...Id still agree with you.

1st marriage-18 yrs old-9 years
2nd-29yrs old-6 years
3rd and FINAL-41 years old-21

1st childhood sweetheart, 2nd 17-yr old neighbor I ran off with, last and FINAL is 10 years younger and still going.

I tell her she'll live to dance on my grave...and the dog will p--s on my headstone...that's if the wife BUYS me one!

:/



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 05:13 PM
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a reply to: wasaka

Why as today is marriage mandatory? What's in the + colomn for you?



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 05:28 PM
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a reply to: wasaka

Talk about a depressing topic..never thought that so many of you were also married young. I'm guessing I wasn't the only one who didn't think things through 100%..I've got my own story to tell.



posted on Feb, 22 2015 @ 06:26 PM
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a reply to: wasaka

I'm not married, but from what I've seen of those around me who are (or were), I would say wait until you are at least in your 30's, and only consider marrying someone you have lived with and vacationed with.

A close friend of mine is not even 30 yet, and he's been married for four years and almost walked out of the marriage last year. They are not compatible, they rushed into it, I don't believe they even love each other anymore.

The best thing to do is consider whether you really need a legal marriage to begin with. What is it about that contract that somehow "validates" a relationship? It's not like every day you're going to wake up together relieved that you're married.

If two people are committed to each other then a piece of paper isn't going to change that. The only reason I can imagine it being useful is under law, for custody rights, property and so on.




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