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originally posted by: ladyvalkyrie
a reply to: Gumerk
Same warning I gave Cheddarhead, had a rough time getting into it today and had some distractions and bad light.
But for you I saw the space needle and a taco. (lol!)
I saw a woman holding an owl on her arm.
And twice I saw a wing....as in Nike....as in 'victory' not the shoe.
On the morning of May 15, 1864, the cadets of the Virginia Military Institute fell into rank and began the march to New Market, where they would serve as a last defense against a Northern force headed by General Franz Sigel. Despite his determination not to let the boys see actual combat, Southern General John Breckinridge was forced to, at last, commit the young, grey-clad corps to fill a gap in the line as the battle raged near the old Bushong Farm.
The young cadets fought valiantly and helped turn the tide of battle, securing an increasingly rare victory for the doomed Confederacy. Mustered at dawn, the 247 cadets of the Virginia Military Institute, more than half first-year students as young as 15, fell into ranks and began the long march to New Market. Having left with a minimum of baggage, they camped near the town of Midway when the rains began to pour down.
“Let’s run for the church,” said Private Edward Tutwiler, pointing to the nearby Presbyterian meeting house. When his friends objected that “they might not like it,” Tutwiler replied, “We can’t fight if we drown first.” Tutwiler would later write, “We slept where many a good follower of Calvin had slept before us.”
The boys climbed through a window and by morning, every cushioned pew was occupied by cadets.
While I was setting up I heard 'Taylor' or 'Tailor'
First thing I saw was a butler serving his own severed head on a tray.
Heard 'In a galaxy far, far away...' ...yes, Star Wars! Lol! I took it to mean your story is very epic.
Heard 'Pinkerton'...if that proper name is not actually involved I'm guessing it might be referencing some sort of detective.
Saw a dark tower/castle keep/large and imposing/bureaucracy/prison
Saw a man running across a plain with aircraft shooting at him.....lone man's struggle to stay alive.
Heard 'quadrilateral' so there's an aspect of four....four character's interactions with each other...four plot lines..etc.
Heard 'fantastic'.....Lol! That's good! The universe thinks highly of your work!
I asked if there were any suggestions for you, just this: you need to add a love interest. Just that, otherwise your story is exciting and well thought out.
Oops....forgot this part:
I saw a crown of laurels....or 'resting on your laurels' referring to a 'dark lord' your villain. Akin to Emperor Nero.
If that's the case, you've got a good bad guy!