Student Banned from Areas of Campus for Resembling Classmate’s Rapist

originally posted by: NthOther
I wonder if this would work for psychologically traumatized men.

I doubt it. But there are quite a few women who give me the heebeegeebees because they remind me of craziness past.

Anyway, the state terrorizes and rapes me every day. Can I have them order themselves to stay away from me? That would be fantastic.

"You know, you IRS agents remind me of an oppressive and sinister government, so my doctor says you have to stay away from me."

If only...

If one has been physically raped and is psychologically traumatized by it, yes. But rape is horrific enough without making light of it. It was so horrific as a child I literally blocked half of the memories out of my head, including the medical kit. As for the marital? Yeah, I so wish I could block that as well. I think that one broke me more than the one as a child because that was from someone I loved and trusted. So please, don't make light of it. Rape is no joke. At last it's not to those who went through it. Who screamed for help that never came. Who punched, begged, pleaded, and was choked until they passed out and wanted to die. Who when they came to was disappointed to find not only were they still alive, but they would have to endure this once again. No, not a joke my friend.

originally posted by: AkaDeDrow
maybe they should place them together so she gets to know this poor guy and can realise that He has done nothing wrong and won't hurt her.
Might work along the lines of confronting her fear and owning it, rather than being ruled by it, she'd possibly make a good friend from it as well.

I would definitely start very small first. Such as in a public chat room, then work to maybe a coffee in a quad room on campus with lots of company, so she feels she has safety in numbers. Something to that effect. Maybe even in a therapist office, half an hour a week, or a month even. Baby steps for her.

a reply to: Domo1

Honestly, maybe she is not ready to return to her life.

Sounds like she has issues to work out. I wish her luck. I hope this guy gets this crap out of his life as well. This is the epitome of injustice.

I am everyday convinced that people who run and work in universities are clinically mentally handicapped.

I mean how did this get this far? !

Clearly that young man must undergo reconstructive surgery in order to resemble someone less threatening. Perhaps he could choose to look like the young lady's beloved father, a caring friend, or favorite celebrity.

To so blatantly resemble a criminal and do nothing about it is irresponsible.

a reply to: Anyafaj

Incredibly sorry you had to go through that and deal with the lingering fear. It's not fair. I'm glad to hear you've gotten to a place where you feel safer. For what it's worth I'm a young guy that can take care of myself, I sleep with a gun and a dog (now a gun two dogs and a girlfriend) and sleep light, but don't like sleeping on ground floors. I just moved from a condo on the third floor to my house and it sketches me out a little.

I fully support a temporary restraining order in cases like yours. You shouldn't have had to deal with that. Just disgusting.

(Sorry for the rambling Domo)

Don't be. At all.

originally posted by: Anyafaj

So please, don't make light of it. Rape is no joke.

My apologies. I wasn't joking about the rape at all, just pointing out the absurdity of the situation (which, you have to admit is a little absurd).

Tact is something I need to continue to develop, however.

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: Anyafaj

Incredibly sorry you had to go through that and deal with the lingering fear. It's not fair. I'm glad to hear you've gotten to a place where you feel safer. For what it's worth I'm a young guy that can take care of myself, I sleep with a gun and a dog (now a gun two dogs and a girlfriend) and sleep light, but don't like sleeping on ground floors. I just moved from a condo on the third floor to my house and it sketches me out a little.

I fully support a temporary restraining order in cases like yours. You shouldn't have had to deal with that. Just disgusting.

(Sorry for the rambling Domo)

Don't be. At all.

I actually have a small dog that I adopted last year that's been very good for me. She's become in tune with how I sleep and when I have night terrors. When I'm having one and I'm trying to scream, or I'm crying, I end up waking not shaking, like I used to, I find myself waking to her licking my face letting me know I'm safe and it's ok. It's comforting actually. My new landlord had no issue with her moving in. She's only 7 1/2 pounds soaking wet, but she's extremely protective of me already. She just turned a year last month and on my very bad days she finds ways to make me laugh with her antics. It's very hard to stay depressed with her around. Truly. Between her and my daughter, I find another reason to put one foot in front of the other. I was doing relatively well, until my ex decided to bring flashbacks back by doing what he did those two nights. I would get a gun, but with an autistic child, I'd rather not risk it. Correction, autistic adult now. Still same reason though. Therapy has been helping as well. It's been a long 5 years, but I'm definitely in a much better place than I was in 2010. Thank you so much for your very kind words. They're well appreciated. On my really down days, I pull kind words like yours out, to remind myself I'm not some piece of crud smeared on the shoe, as I've been treated for almost 20 years. I AM someone, and I deserve to be treated as such. He beat me down emotionally and verbally for 18 1/2 years that by the time he raped me and choked me to the point of passing out, I truly was ready to die. I had already attempted suicide once in the past because of my past. He had choked me numerous times over and over and over in the past, by this point, I was just.....done. No other word could describe it. Just done. I had resigned myself to death. I made my peace with it and wasn't afraid to go. I was just sad my daughter was going to grow up without her mother and there was nothing I could do. No amount of screaming, no amount of beating on his chest, nothing. I was going to put him in jail, but for my daughter's sake, I decided not to. Would you believe he's actually mad at me? Because I thought about putting HIM in jail. I hurt his feelings. He doesn't see those two nights as rape. Apparently no means something else in his playbook, as does choking out your wife until she passes out. I've given it to God, so I've forgiven him, but I've moved on physically and am no where near him, so I don't see him, don't call him, and don't text him unless it deals with an issue regarding our daughter. Other than that, as far as I'm concerned, there's no contact.

originally posted by: NthOther

originally posted by: Anyafaj

So please, don't make light of it. Rape is no joke.

My apologies. I wasn't joking about the rape at all, just pointing out the absurdity of the situation (which, you have to admit is a little absurd).

Tact is something I need to continue to develop, however.

My apologies for going a little out of my head. As you can see it's a bit of a sore subject. Sometimes it's hard to get across what you want to say in type, when using oral words are so much better. Forgive me.

Nope. Don't support this.

Some things you just have to live with.

Have "whipping boys" been resurrected?

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: DelMarvel

it's from a very respected journal so I tend to believe it.

I'm far less trusting of sources when it comes to emotionally charged, controversial issues like this.

Yes, it's the Harvard Law Review. But the writer has been critical of feminism. Note that the article has already been corrected for innacuracies about one prominent case it cited. If there are innacuracies in this case there is no way anyone will know because there is no identifying information at all. All she says is that she "assisted" the young man in question. What does that mean? Could it just mean she talked to him on the phone and got his side of the story? We don't know. If I were betting I would bet on her having researched it and that she is a reliable source but there is no way to know. I'm not taking her word on an anonymous, sensational story like this just because she's a Harvard law professor.

It's just a anecdote that somebody has told, it's hard to tell if there is truth in it.
I just cant see it myself.
But then people are immediately jumping on the girl, without more detail do we even know if she asked for this, or if it was something the school put in place.

a reply to: WilsonWilson

We don't know who the woman is. We don't know what her side of the story is. We don't what school it is. We don't know their side of the story. There is no way to confirm that anything like this even happened.

But that's not stopping agenda driven media sources from plastering this all over the web without knowing.

It could very well be a true story but I'm skeptical of how it's being handled so far.

This is the primary university where the rich go to learn they are better than everyone else. Taking away person A's rights under the disguise of enforcing person B's rights is immoral and probably illegal. All person's are equal under the law (haha) but 2 people going to Harvard should be equally above the law and if I were the male student I would be suing the school.

a reply to: Domo1

How is the school going to enforce this? I don't imagine they'll be able to convince an actual law enforcement body of any kind to take action against someone for resembling an alleged rapist. That's not illegal. It sounds like some womenist action group made a demand that he be thrown off campus completely and the school placated that demand with this idiotic scheme because they know they would be at risk of lawsuit. Educators once again making up nonsense rules and assuming authority that they simply do not have.

a reply to: ketsuko

Hmmm.. If this was a male being wary of women because of some incident I'm sure it would be perceived as sexist to generalize so heavily even if due to trauma. And if it was a person of one color being wary of a person of a different color I'm sure it would be thought of as racist.

No conclusions, just some thoughts.

I feel bad for the girl..

But if I was the guy, I'd be suing the bejeezus out of the school.

originally posted by: greencmp
a reply to: Domo1

It doesn't matter what your actions and intent are, it matters how you are perceived.

It doesn't matter if you never help people as long as you hurt enough of the right people.

It doesn't matter what means are deployed as long as the end is 'socially just'.

Clearly, it doesn't matter what the truth is. It only matters how you feel.

Marx ?

a reply to: 8675309jenny

No, just my observation of what the prevailing values seem to be.

As a survivor of sexual abuse I know that living in fear is by far the worst thing you can do. Things don't change until you get angry, and then do something about it. It sounds as if this woman is too concerned with being a victim, and not getting angry and taking back her life. While I understand her fear and shame, I don't understand her irrational need for everyone else to conform to her tortured worldview. It's like she is asking for society to fix her, all the while blaming society for her pain. And her school is indulging it. It really just makes me sad.

Also, since the school is not mentioned in the original paper, I wonder if it has anything to do with this other story coming out of Oregon. L ink