How Many Apostles Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

12.

1 to change the lightbulb & 11 to pretend Jesus actually existed.





I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. The joke came to me as an epiphany while reading that Peter thread.

a reply to: Eunuchorn

No offense but that is the dumbest joke I've ever heard.

Don't worry you mindless religious folks it's just a joke.....

Now this is funny.

Jesus Christ is dying on the cross, his disciples are gathered around, crying. Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, "Peter, come hither!" Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard. He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, "Peter, come hither!" So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and chops Peter's arm off. Peter is getting a little pissed and wants to go back to his buddies, but again Jesus summons. The roman guard can't believe that Peter is trying yet AGAIN to climb to the cross, and chops off another arm. Peter is now covered in blood and demented from the blow to the head and wants to call it a day. Jesus hoarsly croaks, "Peter, please, come to me!" By now, the roman gurad is tired of chopping limbs, so he lets Peter be. The faithful disciple struggles to climb the cross (without arms mind you) and after a long while he finally arrives at his Lord's side. Hurting, suffering, bleeding, Peter looks into his Master's eyes and asks, "yes, my Lord. What is it?" Jesus smiles lovingly and looks off into the distance as a weak smile plays across his face, "Look Peter, I can see your house from here!"

originally posted by: thesaneone
a reply to: Eunuchorn

No offense but that is the dumbest joke I've ever heard.

It's admittedly not the most well-crafted joke, but I still laughed. I laughed at yours as well. There's sure to be some hellfire and brimstone coming.

Apostles?

Today we call such folks groupies.

Peace

I may be wrong, but I don't think they had light bulbs back then.

a reply to: FatherStacks

Lol only h & b from me is me just saying how tired I am of seeing anti Christian posts everyday, the snarkiness that goes along with it and the attitudes.

a reply to: FatherStacks

The humor is in the antagonism.

If you're an atheist with an English degree, you might even be able to see multiple layers to the joke.


@KeepWatchin

I agree with you, there've been some very...antagonistic threads lately. I think both sides get a little heated. More Apathy is needed all around, imo.

a reply to: Eunuchorn

What about if you're a Christian with an English degree? The only layer I see is a subtle jab at a faith which seems to be a huge social phenomenon.

Edit: Agreed, but I'd say more respect is needed from both sides. And honestly, the non believers are the worst with it.

a reply to: Yeahkeepwatchingme

Most Christians would never even get to the idea that the light bulb represents the idea of Christianity as a whole, & the apostles the translators who are deceiving "the rest".

If you are an analytical mind, I commend you. I was only insinuating that most Christians would be too offended to think about the joke long enough to dig that deep. Consciously, anyways.

originally posted by: Yeahkeepwatchingme
a reply to: Eunuchorn

Edit: Agreed, but I'd say more respect is needed from both sides. And honestly, the non believers are the worst with it.

Well, scripture as an argument or example gets old pretty fast for nonbelievers.
& nonbelievers really hate feeling belittled by people who they deem as, to say the least, conditioned.

I can barely even use nonaggreesive adjectives without my side showing through.
How do you unite two groups of people who perceive each other as Ignorance Incarnate?

And the non believers are tiered of those that believe in magical beings. Have their fantasies affect public policy. If it stayed in your home or church where it belonged, no one would care.a reply to: Yeahkeepwatchingme

originally posted by: thesaneone
a reply to: Eunuchorn

No offense but that is the dumbest joke I've ever heard.

Yup.

Sorry, seemed like a pointless dig at a religion. Not funny at all.

a reply to: Biigs

Not even a chuckle at the ludicrousness of the joke? Dag yo

a reply to: roth1

So disrespectful. Fantasies, magical beings. Disrespectful and disgusting.

a reply to: Eunuchorn

No need to get riled up, I'm on your side. I get the joke. I liked it and laughed- the antagonism is what I found most amusing.

a reply to: Eunuchorn
Argh. Sorry ... it's not doing it for me.


A cleric found himself wondering whether there were any golf courses in Heaven. He even began to ask the question in his prayers. One day, in answer to his prayers, he received a direct answer from on high.

"Yes," said the Heavenly messenger, "There are many excellent golf courses in Heaven. The greens are always in first class condition, the weather is always perfect and you always get to play with the very nicest people."

"Oh, thank you," said the cleric, "That really is marvellous news."

"Yes, isn't it?" replied the messenger, "And we've got you down for a foursome next Saturday."


**** That's a good joke.

originally posted by: Eunuchorn
12.

1 to change the lightbulb & 11 to pretend Jesus actually existed.

I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. The joke came to me as an epiphany while reading that Peter thread.

How many Eunachorns does it take to change a light bulb?

Either 1 or an infinite number because the solution is to a quadratic solved with calculus, while falling into a black hole for no apparent reason.

My joke is funnier (but most likely, incorrect).

originally posted by: Eunuchorn
a reply to: FatherStacks

The humor is in the antagonism.

If you're an atheist with an English degree, you might even be able to see multiple layers to the joke.


@KeepWatchin

I agree with you, there've been some very...antagonistic threads lately. I think both sides get a little heated. More Apathy is needed all around, imo.

Okay, whatever...