Man could face jail time for not paying child support for boy that isn’t his

a reply to: infinityorder

Sounds to me like the CSA are using you as a statistic of success.

a reply to: Bluesma

I am sure what happened to your ex does not happen here in OZ ..i could be wrong though...i would like to just say that is really f#ed up......they take money from him and it does not even go to you!!!.....WTF....it is time the bureaucrats making up these useless rules get educated (i really mean burned at the stake)....again...WTF

The system is such a racket. I was thrown in jail for five days after a judge refused to look at proof that I had over paid by double the amount.

He said I should have been ready on the first court date. I nearly lost my job and place to live. I had to scramble to raise money to pay triple the amount legally owed.

I honestly considered rushing the bench and choking out the judge. I've made peace in my heart with the whole mess but yesterday I caught myself wondering if I could control myself if I saw the judge in public.

a reply to: luthier

From my point of view in the owners are using a different approach than taxation in the US where the owners print money that will in the end cause hyperinflation instead for all people who have money except for those who get the money first and have used it to buy real commodities for it. And a debt increase that one day the banking elite will force the people to give something real for the debt that never can be payed back.

Just look at Warren Buffet. He would be nothing if he did not have cheap banking money backing him up from his FED owning friends, that he can buy whatever company he wants with. And since money trickle up the ones who own the most and control the most gets the biggest piece of the money.

In Sweden the banking maffia is trying to do the same overtaking of the government here with us paying taxes to give money to private schools, nursing homes and selling out the energy sector cheaply inflating prices and squeezing the middle class.

In the end that leads to 1984 fascism. The Government and the corporations in symbiosis feeding on the people like farm animals.

originally posted by: Bluesma

originally posted by: Spider879
Ladies I would like to get your perspective on this, not putting you on the hot seat or anything and you don't have to agree or disagree is there an angle we maybe missing.

I'll put in my two cents, as a woman.

I think the system is completely screwed up in the US. (I don't know about Australia, which was mentioned).
I had a child in the US, the father decided after the birth that he didn't want to be part of it's life, as he had daddy issues of his own. I was fine raising my child alone.

Came to find out the father had been pulled through a court hearing that I had not been made aware of, which obligated him to pay child support- which went entirely to the state.
I did what I could for him, which was limited to signing his income taxes each year, so he could claim the child as dependent (though he did not see or know the child).

Years later, I found out he had tried to escape the child support by running off to another state, was found by the authorities after a few years, and made to pay a huge amount in back support. At that time I was living in France, married. I contacted the DA to proclaim I did not need or want him to pay any child support (it wasn't going to me anyway). I was told it really isn't any of my business and I have no say in it.

The system is so screwed up- I see men wailing that it is women abusing them in all this, and I say back- BS! It is the government just trying to fill their coffers.

But whenever we come across such things in our system, that we don't like, it is necessary to look at the ideas, values and principles they are sourced in. It is our american focus on individual responsibility (as contrasted with collective responsibility). One cannot holler against this sort of thing and simultaneously against "socialist" concepts as exist in Europe. It is self contradicting. We sometimes do not see how we are creating problems for ourselves, because we don't see the connection.

As you stated you were fine raising your child on your own, did you receive any public assistance of any kind for you or your child? The reason I ask is it seems the state is taking money they are not entitled to if you didn't. That should be a law suit if so. If they took money from the father, they should either reimburse themselves for expenses for you and your child or they give the money to the custodial parent for raising the child.

a reply to: Bluesma

LOve the frank response and the personal stories, in this day N age it is waaay too easy to blame soon to be singles moms as potential golddiggas when it's the system , although set up for good intent is ran by incompetents.

Late eighties? The 'kid' has to be like 25+ years old by now, eh?

originally posted by: LittleByLittle

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: LittleByLittle

America just cannot seem to implement reasonable laws like the rest of the western and north Europe can.

What country are you from and how much taxes do you pay for all that Gov support?

Sweden

Direct tax on salary 31%, 25% vat on most things we buy. More when you add the pension money that the corporations have to pay above our salary. If you have a higher salary the tax jumps up.

Off topic, but I was in Sweden last year as my son was studying abroad at Uppsalla (sic?) University. Stockholm is the nicest city I've ever seen.

originally posted by: infinityorder
a reply to: Spider879

Ya the child support system is messed up.

I still have to pay child support, even though my kids live with me.

The oldest is 14 he has lived with me for all but 1 year of his life.

When we went to court over child support when he was 3, I had receipts to prove I had paid child support on him.

The judge said since child support wasn't ordered it was a gift.

Then charged me 1 year back support for not paying child support.

I was floored. I said judge, I did pay here is the proof, the boys mother even tried to tell them I paid, and did not want or deserve back support.

They didn't care. They put a tax lean on everything I own immediately.

She and I have both tried to end the support order many times since.

They will not.

Makes no sense at all.

Probably the most amazing story about "the system" I've ever read.

originally posted by: StoutBroux


As you stated you were fine raising your child on your own, did you receive any public assistance of any kind for you or your child? The reason I ask is it seems the state is taking money they are not entitled to if you didn't. That should be a law suit if so. If they took money from the father, they should either reimburse themselves for expenses for you and your child or they give the money to the custodial parent for raising the child.

I did get food stamps- I was a college student, and it was tough. But I only got that aid for one year. The amount of money they were taking him was much more than the aid I got, and went on for 18 years! I was married and gone by the time the child was three. It just went way over board (even though I comprehend the state wanting to get their money back, at the base).

I can give you two different perspectives on child support. One as a child, and one as an adult.


I have a paranoid schizophrenic birth mother who walked out on us. Apparently she told everyone in high school that after she had 3 kids she was leaving her husband, and sure enough, that's exactly what she did. The judge gave my father a child support order against her, but my father never saw a dime from her. Not that my dad was ever surprised. He never tried taking her to court or anything. For him it wasn't worth the fight.

When he remarried, during a separation his wife went to welfare and applied with her 2 kids, my stepsister and stepbrother. Welfare got a support order against my dad for over 2/3 of his income, even though he still have 3 kids at home. Thankfully my stepmother wised up and would give my dad some of the money back on the sly. It actually forced my dad into bankruptcy.

Now as an adult, I recently divorced. I signed the papers December 13, 2013. My ex was an @$$! He forgets I still have power of attorney over him from when he was in the military that's still active. Thankfully I'm not a witch and won't do anything. When we divorced I requested NO child support and NO alimony and I'm on disability! I may have to amend the order though as he refuses to help his daughter. He won't help pay $20 a month for his daughter's cell phone because he feels 19 is too young for a cell phone. ???? No, the truth? He wants to continue being a jerk to her and to I. Even her caseworker said she's responsible enough and mature enough and sees no reason for him to continue his game. I might actually go to court and get a child support order just for the amount of her cell phone bill. You don't want to help your daughter? Now you HAVE to. She's so mad at him she no longer visits him or answers the phone when he calls. He insists on treating her as if she is 5. I'm trying very hard to help them keep the line of communication open but he is making it incredibly difficult.

I also have to amend the order that he cannot take her out of state without my permission when she does visit him. We all live in PA and when she visits, he keeps taking her to NY without permission from me. Yet, I'm not supposed to remove her from the state without his permission. So obviously I will have to add that in as well.

originally posted by: Anyafaj
He won't help pay $20 a month for his daughter's cell phone because he feels 19 is too young for a cell phone. ???? No, the truth? He wants to continue being a jerk to her and to I. Even her caseworker said she's responsible enough and mature enough and sees no reason for him to continue his game. I might actually go to court and get a child support order just for the amount of her cell phone bill. You don't want to help your daughter? Now you HAVE to.

o.O

I hope to high hell you made a typo & mean she's ten years old, and not actually nineteen. I'm aware of some people extending support orders into the early 20's, situations depending, but if you're trying to court-order your ex to pay for a 19 year old woman's phone bill...that's another gaping flaw in the system that needs to be fixed, as far as I'm concerned.

originally posted by: Nyiah

originally posted by: Anyafaj
He won't help pay $20 a month for his daughter's cell phone because he feels 19 is too young for a cell phone. ???? No, the truth? He wants to continue being a jerk to her and to I. Even her caseworker said she's responsible enough and mature enough and sees no reason for him to continue his game. I might actually go to court and get a child support order just for the amount of her cell phone bill. You don't want to help your daughter? Now you HAVE to.

o.O

I hope to high hell you made a typo & mean she's ten years old, and not actually nineteen. I'm aware of some people extending support orders into the early 20's, situations depending, but if you're trying to court-order your ex to pay for a 19 year old woman's phone bill...that's another gaping flaw in the system that needs to be fixed, as far as I'm concerned.

She is 19, but she is on SSI and under guardianship until she is 25. It was supposed to be till she was 21, but his new wife had it changed to 25. She lives in a group home for adult girls with autism. She's quite responsible for her disability and her age and has worked hard to get to be where she's at, responsibility wise. My ex treats her as if she's 5 all her life. He doesn't even feel the group home, or her high school should be teaching her how to cook. I keep trying to explain to him she has to learn independence sometime. Eventually we aren't going to be around anymore to do everything for her. She has a Facebook page that is FAMILY ONLY! He made a new rule in his house she's not allowed to go on the internet, including her Facebook page. Whatever. I told her she can talk to her cousins and aunts on mine. He's trying to control very aspect of her life, and she doesn't want that. He's trying to force her to move to NY and he's mad because I told her that she's old enough to make her own choice now. She chose PA. He thinks I forced her to chose PA. Again, whatever. I'm trying to teach her independence. To rely on herself some, but that it's also ok to ask for help.


Edit to add, Anything my daughter needs it comes out of my disability check, not his. I pay for it. He works and doesn't contribute to her care. For me, I have to problem providing for her care. But he has no problem accepting calls on her phone, texts from her phone, IM from Facebook from her phone, but won't help pay for her phone. I pay the full price for her phone because the state only give her $20 a week out of her $700 SSI. So she can't afford it herself. I see no reason her father cannot help in this one instance. For me, this is a principal of the issue. He can enjoy the use of it, but he can't help pay for it. He's making me pay for all her other care items, he can at least pay $20 a measly month! That's just my opinion.

a reply to: Anyafaj

Ah, see, context matters a lot. You didn't mention her condition in the thread, or what I assume from reading the description is a mutually agreed upon arraignment for care. Your case would be one of the extended support situations I've heard of being extended into adulthood, correct?

originally posted by: Nyiah
a reply to: Anyafaj

Ah, see, context matters a lot. You didn't mention her condition in the thread, or what I assume from reading the description is a mutually agreed upon arraignment for care. Your case would be one of the extended support situations I've heard of being extended into adulthood, correct?

Correct. I could probably go after him for all the other items I pay for, but I don't want to be one of those exes that itemizes every little thing. It's this one item that's royally getting on my nerves. Truthfully, I still have his power of attorney from when he was in the military. He forgot to rip it up before he moved out. I could be a wench and get her a phone contract under his name, but I wasn't raised that way. I want to do this through the proper channels. I'm willing to pay half, $20 a month. Why he's being a wench on this....this is way of trying to control me and her even though we are no longer married. And I refuse to let him do it.

originally posted by: Spider879
Ladies I would like to get your perspective on this, not putting you on the hot seat or anything and you don't have to agree or disagree is there an angle we maybe missing.

No angle that I can see. This is BS. The kid is not his. This guy is not accountable or responsible for his care.

Period.

Done.