It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

How does one resolve this? Grandmother and the Cat.

page: 2
4
<< 1   >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Feb, 11 2015 @ 07:45 PM
link   
a reply to: Tangerine

One ill tempered swipe does not make Granny a serial animal abuser. A little compassion, please. Pets, as much as I love them, do not come before people.




posted on Feb, 11 2015 @ 07:50 PM
link   

originally posted by: eeyipes
a reply to: Tangerine

One ill tempered swipe does not make Granny a serial animal abuser. A little compassion, please. Pets, as much as I love them, do not come before people.


Hitting an animal makes one an animal abuser. I have compassion for anyone who is hit. This time, it's the cat. It would seem that you don't take animal abuse seriously. If she'd hit a child would you have a different attitude?



posted on Feb, 11 2015 @ 08:28 PM
link   
You are overreacting. If the OP seriously thought the cat was in mortal danger or being abused, he would have already dealt with the problem and it wouldn't even be discussed here. This is about trying to help an elderly family member fit in and accept her new home, which happens to include a kitty that Granny doesn't think should be on the furniture. All it requires is a little conflict resolution, patience and compassion. I really don't find all these "toss grandma out and save the cat" comments helpful or amusing.

edit on 11-2-2015 by eeyipes because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 11 2015 @ 08:37 PM
link   

originally posted by: eeyipes
You are overreacting. If the OP, Granny's son, seriously thought the cat was in mortal danger or being abused, he would have already dealt with the problem and it wouldn't even be discussed here. This is about trying to help his mother fit in and accept her new home, which happens to include a kitty that Granny doesn't think should be on the future. All it requires is a little conflict resolution, patience and compassion. I really don't find all these "toss grandma out and save the cat" comments helpful or amusing.


You didn't ask for help. He did. Obviously, he thought it was a problem or he wouldn't have raised the issue. The topic is about that which he chose to make it (ie. grandmother and cat) not about that which you choose to make it (ie. grandmother fitting in).

You are advocating compassion for someone who has committed an act of violence against a living being. You are advocating conflict resolution when the conflict was one-sided: she hit the cat. Instead of conflict resolution, patience and compassion (for anyone but the cat), the rules need to be established and enforced: you can not hit or otherwise abuse the cat or anyone else in this home. If you do, you will have to make arrangements to live elsewhere. Unless she is senile, which he did not suggest, she should be able to understand that. Making things overly complicated is ridiculous. The UN doesn't need to be called into session and psychiatrists and a court-appointed mediator arranged for. She simply needs to be told what she can and can not do in someone else's home.



posted on Feb, 11 2015 @ 09:55 PM
link   
a reply to: halfoldman

You tell Granny that if she doesn't learn to love and respect kitty, Karma will make her a kitty in her next life-- owned by someone just like her.



posted on Feb, 12 2015 @ 05:52 AM
link   
Encourage Grandma to share her wisdom with you, even if you know what a piano scarf is act like you don't, then ask her what it is, let her tell you that it is used to protect pianos with. (She should know this).

Go buy a piano scarf or find some fabric for the piano.
Thank Granny for the advice, act grateful and after placing the fabric on the piano be sure to tell Granny the cat is allowed to sit where it wants to sit and the piano scarf is just what you needed.

Everyone wins.

Old people love to share wisdom and feel needed.
The cat gets to sit where ever.
You know how to play the elder game now.

You do not want the cane banging to start for as many old folks get weaker minded they can eventually turn that cane banging towards humans. You do not want to mention the cane being used at all to them because in their elder mind they feel that it can give them power over people when they wield it. Goodluck



posted on Feb, 12 2015 @ 07:05 AM
link   
a reply to: Tangerine

The OP stated that Granny HAS already been told not to pester kitty, and that she is withdrawing from the family. This absolutely points to potentially deeper problems.

I have 3 pampered, shelter-rescued furbabies of my own, and fully agree that kitty's safety is very important.

Unless Granny has a life long history of swatting cats, I'm not ready to accuse her of animal abuse.

I could tell a similar story about an older family member that came to live with us. For the first week or two it was lovely. Then that family member started having random outbursts over random household things and withdrawing from the family, much like Granny. If I were to tell that story as simplisticly as the OP did, you might think that family member was a mean person who didn't like the laughter of children, music, and other happy things. And that would be a disservice to someone who liked to dance, laugh and make people smile. Because what was really going on was feelings of insecurity, lack of control, and perhaps a bit of depression about life's later transitions.

So while this really may be about nothing more than a Granny and a cat on the piano, there is a very real possibility, given the clues stated by the OP, that there is something more going on. And to ignore the possibilility could be detrimental to both the kitty and Granny, as well as a bit naive.

edit on 12-2-2015 by eeyipes because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 12 2015 @ 08:53 AM
link   
a reply to: donktheclown

The problem with squirt bottles is that a startled, wet cat is likely to dig their claws in and leap, which would then scratch the piano and prove Granny right, as well as annoy the cat. Granny just needs to be reassured in some way that kitty can't or won't damage the furniture, and that her concerns are important to the family. In her generation a piano is likely a treasured and expensive item that needs to be protected from kitties and small children.

edit on 12-2-2015 by eeyipes because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 12 2015 @ 10:10 PM
link   

originally posted by: eeyipes
a reply to: donktheclown

The problem with squirt bottles is that a startled, wet cat is likely to dig their claws in and leap, which would then scratch the piano and prove Granny right, as well as annoy the cat. Granny just needs to be reassured in some way that kitty can't or won't damage the furniture, and that her concerns are important to the family. In her generation a piano is likely a treasured and expensive item that needs to be protected from kitties and small children.


I agree about the squirt bottle. But this isn't 1950 and Granny wasn't born in the 1800s and grew up using a spinning wheel and churning butter. I think it's a shame that just because someone is old (and we don't know how old) that it's assumed that she crossed the plains on a covered wagon and ain't never been to the big city and the only pianey she ever saw was in the church (or the equivalent) or that she's a well-intentioned saint. Just as there are plenty of mean-natured young and middle-aged people, there are plenty of mean-natured old people who don't give a second thought to kicking a dog or hitting a cat. If this had been a one-time event and the situation had been resolved, I don't think the OP would have created a thread about it. Granny is a problem and this is one sign of it.



posted on Feb, 13 2015 @ 10:24 AM
link   
Thanks again for all the replies and suggestions.

Luckily the air has cleared a bit, and both granny and kitty are fine.

Not to go into painstaking detail about my home life, but granny is in her mid-90s.
She was flown here from a European country about three years back, and that was already under certain requirements from the airline.
However, she absolutely refused to go into a facility there, or one here, although she has that choice.
She actually blossomed here, and put on some weight.
But there comes a stage where even the best hearing-aids or eye treatments can only do so much, but at least she still has her foreign TV channels and special headphones.
I'm going to have a drink with her and a chat just now.

I guess having anyone move into a home who doesn't have the same connection to one's pets is difficult, whether it's a granny or a partner.
For example, I had a buddy sleep over recently who had a tiff with the wife, and he wanted to lift the cat by the tail (they have two cats themselves, although I'm not surprised that I find them rather vicious).
We immediately stopped him.

The cat doesn't go in granny's room, and I hope she now understands that she must leave it alone otherwise.
We have used the spritz bottle years ago to train kitty, but I wouldn't give one to granny, because water stains on the piano are also not good, and kitty is set in his ways now.
I'll tell her again if I catch her poking the cat, and she can pout all she wants.
It's just not a nice situation for me to feel like the scold, and I hate telling people what to do.
But it seems she's over it for now, and I won't mention the incident again unless absolutely necessary.
edit on 13-2-2015 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)

edit on 13-2-2015 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)




top topics



 
4
<< 1   >>

log in

join