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Greatest invention since the wheel

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posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 10:04 AM
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I hate Winter. It's cold, the roads get slippery, no sun, no fishing while laying in the warm sand on a river bank, no fresh fruit, ripe from my trees and forget about getting a decent tomato. All the trees are naked and the beautiful green of Summer is a long way away. My garden is dead and there's no hope of seeing my roses bloom for months. But the thing I hate the worst, the thing that just makes me dread this time of year is.....a cold toilet seat. You go to the bathroom to read your book or magazine, drop your pants, sit down and wince in dreaded anticipation of that chilly impact of cheek meeting seat.
Oh, you can grit your teeth, take a deep breath and hope it won't be so bad this time, but, it's the same cold embrace. You can get a padded seat, with a soft foam lining, but the plastic on the outside is still as cold as an ex wife's heart.
It can ruin a nights sleep as well. It's 3:00 am, you wake up with a full bladder and you have got to go. You stumble to the bathroom, groggy and hoping to get this over with so you can crawl back in the warm covers. You get there and you're too sleepy to aim, so you foolishly decide to sit down [ yes you have ] and just before contact, you realize what's coming. You try to stop. You try to stand back up, but it's like the gravity has suddenly doubled and your cheeks make touchdown. Your eyes fly open, an involuntary "guhhh" sound comes out of your mouth and all of a sudden, you're wide awake and cursing yourself for having that last beer. The only consoling thought is that, at least I'm not female. They have to sit every time. I salute you ladies, you have tougher [ but far more attractive ] cheeks than mine.
For all of us who dread a cold seat, here is a truly useful invention. I know they have been around for a while, but their true value is sadly too often ignored.
I Give You .....The Heated Seat!!


edit on 25-1-2015 by DAVID64 because: typo




posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 10:16 AM
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The nightmare of lowering yourself down to an ice cold seat...ugh. Truly dreadful.

I need this item!



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 10:17 AM
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a reply to: DAVID64

Man, your weird!

You need to suffer all that for atonement of your sins...and doing that, you don't need to go to confession!



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 10:18 AM
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a reply to: DAVID64

You could always just squat.

You could build this squatting platform.

I think I need to build one.
edit on 2015 1 by incoserv because: I could.



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 10:25 AM
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originally posted by: incoserv
a reply to: DAVID64

You could always just squat.

You could build this squatting platform.

I think I need to build one.


You could also buy a Squatty Potty for 25$
squattypotty.com...



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 10:33 AM
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a reply to: DAVID64

I'm not normally this open, but fair play to you, it is these little shared experiences that we all have in common.

I don't think my electric utility budget can go far enough for the luxury of heating the seat. Though if I had the money I would have one for sure.

I am a guy, but I sit down all the time. I don't like the drips and splashes on the floor, etc and it is a good place to sit down as the hole in the seat means I can sit down without hurting my coccyx (tail bone). It sticks out too much after cracking it a few years back. I stand up most of the time even when watching the TV or on the PC.

I hate the whole bathroom business. It irritates me because I just want to be entity me and it calls me back to the mundanities of the flesh. Having to tolerate this messy and smelly business constantly is a bit of a bore.



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 11:06 AM
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a reply to: DAVID64

I would become so spoiled I would heat the seat just to pee. Because I can. But then again I live in Florida what the he'll do I need a heated toilet seat for?



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 11:12 AM
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a reply to: DAVID64 Inclusion of an insulating layer to reduce thermal loss to body tissues due to induction would increase toilet user comfort for minimal cost. Reference link: Warm and Fuzzy Toilet Seat Covers



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 12:15 PM
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a reply to: DAVID64
ERm, over here we have warm homes and the toilet seats are at room temperature!!!!!!!!!!!!!



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 12:35 PM
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I'd say Mosquito repellent tops that.



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 04:38 PM
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a reply to: DAVID64

A quit yer snivelling
I live in a cold rainforest and have to pee outside at nights, rain or snow, gravel on bare feet. Too far and dark to get to the outhouse. Its temporary but after year five I'm looking forward to that cold, but dry, toilet seat.



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 06:26 PM
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Superglue a tack on your toilet seat. That'll put some fire in you in the middle of the chilly night.



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 07:36 PM
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You'll need to remember to always put the seat down after peeing, or your warm seat will be wasted when you're half asleep and it's dark



posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 11:31 PM
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I thought sliced bread was number two while the wheel is number one.




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