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Between September and now I noticed David was starting to hole himself up. Block himself off from the outside world. Before he would go into writing mode and disappear for a few weeks or a month at a time. This time, and now since hindsight is 20/20, we all may have seen signs that it was different. I had asked Danny if he had heard from David recently and he said he was really difficult to get a hold of. I got a message from Charles in October saying he wanted to talk to David and I couldn’t get a hold of him. I built a photo studio in my garage and I sent him a text in November saying if you ever need a place to take photos you are more than welcome here. Never heard back. On Sunday I got a call from Adam telling me that David was gone. That they were all gone.
It took a little bit to finally hit. I never saw this coming. None of us did. If we did I think we would have reached out sooner. I never saw signs of PTSD. He was not a crazed gun nut. I don’t know if alcohol or drugs were involved. The whole thing took me by complete surprise. I don’t know why he did it. I wish he didn’t. We all do. I have some thoughts on it though.
David was a genius. He was so smart that I think he processed things on a totally different level than the rest of us. Super smart and especially creative people have trouble relating or dumbing down their thoughts for the rest of us. After the release of the trailer and the praise and the “message” that he wanted to get out, I think there was this incredible stress and pressure on him to get the movie out. I feel like he was carrying the weight of the world squarely on his shoulders. I did not know this at the time, but I found out that his funding was not going through or got pulled out. I don't think David knew how to cope with failure on this scale. He was always the best. The was the fastest, the strongest, the smartest, the most creative, the best writer, the best at after effetcs etc. But this may have been the biggest "failure" of his life and he didn't know how to cope. Because of his process there was no way anyone could help him out. What he saw in his head was not something anyone else could put in words or pictures. Then there was the underlying message of Gray State. The spiritual side. The Masonic blood ritual occult side. In my heart I feel like the stress, the message, the story, and his though process caused his world of fiction and reality to blur. I feel like he was living in the Gray State. It was no longer a movie. It was his reality. Conspiracy theorists are saying he was murdered by the government. He was murdered alright. He was murdered by the Gray State. He was no longer David. He was not the David we all knew and loved. He was Gray State. And the Gray State killed David. It killed Komel, and it killed Raniya.
I don’t know what to take away from this all. I feel like we all need to take better care of eachother. No project. No Message. Nobody needs to die over some stupid #ing movie. At the end of the day, thats what it was. Some stupid #ing movie. We lost an entire family. But we need to take care of eachother. The support has been overwhelming. I am hearing from people from High School. People from the Army. People from the film community, all reaching out and saying they are sorry and they loved David. He touched so many people. Be brought so many of us together. Without him, I probably wouldn’t know 3/4 the people reading this message right now. I hope in the coming days and weeks we can learn more about what happened and why it happened and how to fix it.
There can be good that comes out of this tragedy though. Komel’s mother is sick. She has cancer. If you can, please go to www.gofundme.com... and donate any money you can.
And for you people saying David was killed by the government. Go # yourself right out of our lives and stay out." - Mitch Heil
The original Gray State idea was very much conspiracy theory, government takeover, etc. The script for the actual movie gradually shifted gears. It was becoming less and less about the surface level conspiracy/this world stuff and became more and more about masonic rituals, spirituality, occultism, etc. During this time we were also getting involved more with actual conspiracy theorists. We went to the Bildeberg meeting in Virginia