Basketball Coach Suspended After His Team Wins 161-2

Winners penalized, losers coddled.

This is one of my biggest peeves. People complaining about the other team running up the score. In my opinion, athletes are trained to do their chosen sport to the best of their ability. How is it the athletes or the coaches fault if they happen to be really really good at it?

In this case, Arroyo Valley High School girl's basketball team destroyed the opposing team 161-2. Now, if the coach left the starters in the whole game, they may have an argument. However, the subs were in most of the game and he even instructed the team not to score until the final seconds of the third and fourth quarters! So essentially, the team was instructed to only play the first half! What else was this coach to do? Just sit his players and let the other team run up and down the court scoring at will for the second half?

“People shouldn’t feel sorry for my team. They should feel sorry for his team, which isn’t learning the game the right way,” he remarked.

In my opinion, the blame should fall on the opposing team's coach and athletic director. There is no way they should be scheduling games against teams like this if their program is that bad. I mean honestly, 2 points? You should be able to score more than that on accident.

Granted, this is an extreme example, but I see people complain time and time again when a team "runs up" the score. If you don't like getting beat so badly, do something about it. It is not the opposing team's problem if you can't stop them. The way I see it, everyone gets a "beat down" at least once in their life. Lord knows I had plenty in sports and life. Use it as a teaching/learning moment. Make yourself better because of it.

Life isn't and never will be fair. You want to improve your odds? Work smarter and harder than the other person and good things will happen.

What's your opinion on suspending the coach?

Coach Suspended

Sports are #.

a reply to: Eunuchorn

Sports are a pound sign?

originally posted by: jtrenthacker

What's your opinion on suspending the coach?

Wow, great message to send to kids. Success = bad, failure = good.
Sounds like the crazy left wing ideology that there are no winners or losers.
Or common core where 2+2=5 and thats okay.

Just a sign of the times and how far around the u-bend we already are.

Yeah, he called off the dogs as much as he could. I only get annoyed with the other team if they keep their starters in and go balls to the wall the whole game when they obviously have the thing won. That's when you put your backups in and give them game experience IMO. They need to learn how to play in the real thing, too, because this year's bench warmers are often next year's starters and that experience is valuable.

a reply to: OneManArmy

I'm struggling with it right now. I have three kids that play sports. Up until this year, it has all been rec league and they do not keep score. I partly understand at a young age because the kids are still learning the game. However, the kids on the team keep score themselves. Why? Because they are competitive. You know what? I think that is good.

My daughter is finally old enough to play club soccer which is very competitive and should be good for her. I've already had the talk about how much harder she will have to work and how much tougher (mentally) she will have to learn to be. I know there will be a day when she loses a match 20-1 and I want her to be prepared and learn from it.

a reply to: Eunuchorn

Vomiting rainbows? As opposed to vomiting what the power elite teach you?

a reply to: ketsuko

Yeah, that is my point of view as well. I hope I didn't come across advocating no mercy in my op. As a coach, do what you can to mitigate the points scored. However, if a kid that usually rides the pine gets some playing time and wants to score, can you blame them?

The fact that they suspended the coach is just ludicrous in my opinion. It is California after all.

originally posted by: jtrenthacker
a reply to: OneManArmy

I'm struggling with it right now. I have three kids that play sports. Up until this year, it has all been rec league and they do not keep score. I partly understand at a young age because the kids are still learning the game. However, the kids on the team keep score themselves. Why? Because they are competitive. You know what? I think that is good.

My daughter is finally old enough to play club soccer which is very competitive and should be good for her. I've already had the talk about how much harder she will have to work and how much tougher (mentally) she will have to learn to be. I know there will be a day when she loses a match 20-1 and I want her to be prepared and learn from it.

I know its really really sad. The world is highly competitive, we are setting up the kids for failure in the real world. Without giving them the tools to deal with that failure, they will become suicidal or self harm, thinking they just dont have what it takes. Kids need to understand that life is filled will failure as well as success, and they need to know how to deal with both. The only way for that to happen is for them to deal with it and build character.

I have always been very competitive, to the point that I even compete against myself. lol.

If you don't like my bench players scoring, do something about it. You can't tell your players that rarely get to play to not try very hard.

a reply to: jtrenthacker

Well, I was a highly competitive kid myself, and I played a variety of sports growing up. I can tell you this - for the most part, I was simply happy to have the chance to play. It wasn't until I was hitting junior high and high school that I really got upset about lop-sided scores.

a reply to: jtrenthacker

If your team sucks, you deserve to have that suction quantified. This is WHY we keep score. Sports are generally not pass/fail. Practice, run faster, be better, and maybe most importantly, NO WHINING.

jtrenthacker
I'm struggling with it right now. I have three kids that play sports. Up until this year, it has all been rec league and they do not keep score. I partly understand at a young age because the kids are still learning the game. However, the kids on the team keep score themselves. Why? Because they are competitive. You know what? I think that is good.

My daughter is finally old enough to play club soccer which is very competitive and should be good for her. I've already had the talk about how much harder she will have to work and how much tougher (mentally) she will have to learn to be. I know there will be a day when she loses a match 20-1 and I want her to be prepared and learn from it.

OneManArmy
I know its really really sad. The world is highly competitive, we are setting up the kids for failure in the real world. Without giving them the tools to deal with that failure, they will become suicidal or self harm, thinking they just dont have what it takes. Kids need to understand that life is filled will failure as well as success, and they need to know how to deal with both. The only way for that to happen is for them to deal with it and build character.

I have always been very competitive, to the point that I even compete against myself. lol.

Holy # you two. You may be some kick ass parents, and pretty cool for your kids that you two care about them so much....
but holy #, the things you both say like the kid will understand.."I know there will be a day she loses a match 20-1" & "we are setting up the kids for failure in the real world"....u said it no1 else.."they will become suicidal or self-harm, thinking they just dont have what it takes"?? As grown kid I'm getting more pissed off reading these words you two.

I kno ur being mature and very-far reaching in your preparatory parenting...but this is not the way.

Soccer can't be your life-lesson on commitment & preparation. What happens when another situation comes up where you need to give that talk, but it's for something she'll needs & not just wants. The kid will not take you seriously, cuz its freakin soccer & the kids are playing, and they want to join, not treat it like another chore, ya know? That talk u gave the kid was your way of trying to scare him/her out of it for some reason. What could u possibly b afraid of? Any kid would hate parents who set their kids up to fail, instead of helping them succeed when & where u can with other PRODUCTIVE things. I can understand something like letting go of the bicycle when pushing them down the road, so they can stear alone, or in the pool without floaties momentarily. But for real guys. Who in their right mind would see parenting as such a somber thing?

Do u have bad memories of losing a baseball/basketball/etc game & remember the lesson you learned to this day? No, it's a game! Parents always trying to turn their child into practicing commitment, but commitment doesn't come with practice & definitely not like any silly game win or lose. Ur right the kids can have the idea of commitment solidified early, nothing wrong with that. Just don't try to emulate or even point out how their circumstances might be worse than they actually care to kno when young.

A good lesson can always be learned constructively, just remember NEGATIVE does not equal REALISTIC. It can easily turn into something the kid will want to forget. Listen to the quotes I quoted of you two again. It's like you're reading a Eulogy for God's sake. Again, I don't mean to belittle your dialogue, but it's only JUST that; YOURS.

Something like wanting to teach your kid that "life is filled with failure with success" is just a red flag. Your kid obviously understands this. But the ones they should be focusing on, and recieving constructive criticism from you about, are the reinforcing positive ones. The ones you'll have to see for yourself. You cannot just orchestrate it.

Too many parents let themselves off the hook with this responsibility, cuz they tell themself "hey, i told them everything I could, and the little basterds didn't even listen to me", next step being a pretty bitter "that's it i'm not helping them at all with their problems. I tried & its like i'm talking to a wall.", finally followed by imo the most pitiful conclusion a parent could ever make their mind up about whilst raising kids; "..i can feel better now about not teaching them all the fun stuff about life, and about girlfriends", & then ur kid grows up like a lot of others; feeling abandoned cuz their parent felt "it's the only way they'll learn", & face things alone, learn alone, without even a handful of good memories to make them feel like they were ever even cared about enough, recalling the uptightness you've had, and the worry, about soccer & what was it, another lesson about something or other depressing thing again?

You as their parent owe it to them to admit YOU don't know everything. That just because you decide 'realism' as you've been seeing it for the past 40+ years should be the priority lessons, without ever letting the kid convince you that you're wrong; You'll never get anywhere but where your posts are saying they are with that scary confidence.

Kids, eat up philosophy. They remember short profound and ambiguous answers they get from questioning you. Remember that when the times come where they're fighting with you regularly. If you can look back in a few years, and know for sure that your kid remembers at least ONE SENTENCE A YEAR that you told them that touched their hearts and imagination throughout these early years; that kid will grow into becoming anything they want. Don't bother responding, I'm outta here.

a reply to: jtrenthacker

I'm confused by the story. What exactly did he do wrong?
Actually telling them not to score is wrong...

is that not the point of almost any type of ball game?

I am confused.

The way I see it, he did a fine job of coaching these kids and the other team just got their butts handed to them, and that is a part of the sport.

a reply to: Arrestme

My comments were related specifically to competitive sports. However, I do believe an organized sport or activity is very important for a child. It's not about wins or losses. It's about learning teamwork, how to better yourself and those around you, how to respond to defeat and failure, camaraderie, setting goals, work ethic, responsibility, discipline, it goes on and on. All of these things will help them later in their lives.

It's a balancing act. I don't go around talking negative to them all the time. In fact, like most parents, I fear that I may be overly positive about how smart or athletic they are. I also don't coddle them when they lose a game, strike out, get a bad grade in school. I'm not yelling and screaming at them either. I just explain to them what they could do to improve and to not be so hard on themselves. It's ok if you lose sometimes, just learn from the experience and try again.

Its the " everyone gets a trophy " attitude that is giving kids the wrong message. And telling your players to not score because the other team is not good at the game that is wrong.

figured i better say something more on topic after that.

but i think some1 said it already, the ONLY thing that's wrong here is that an alarm of sorts exists that some1 pressed intentionally to get that coach suspended over it!!! Not something you could even teach ur kids about really. I'm pretty sure they've been over it. If they cared, they would have already practiced. Prob parents forcing them to go, and a parent who is trying to pin it all on the god-damn innocent coach. Possibly to boast to their children that they're solving their "basketball problem you couldn't possibly comprehend", and chalk it up to a life lesson well-tamed.


@jtrent, yes ofc, i only hoped to inspire. Even if so doing meant framing the context of both your words into a formidable antagonist. My apologies if it caused any unintended offense. I will take my leave now.

a reply to: Arrestme

No worries. You made some good points.

If I was the coach I would have told even my bench players to go balls to the wall. Score as many points as you can. It's not their fault that other team was not prepared. I was competitive in sports naturally; I always tried my hardest because it was fun and I loved getting better. I attended a cousins football game and by the half they had already won. Eventually they called the game just shortly after the half due to bad weather and a score so high they wouldn't have caught up. If the coach of the losing team knew the girls weren't prepared, why play? Maybe he chose to attend that match because he thought the girls would learn a lesson. When I played StarCraft, after losing a match I would watch the replay to figure out where I went wrong. Losing a match is a learning tool if used in such a way. I've been at sporting events where they don't keep score and the parents are shouting and yelling and treating the game like it's the world cup or world series.

The only thing I can think of (in this case) to diffuse the situation in the moment would be for both coaches to discuss it between quarters. The winning coach could offer to stop the game, letting the losing coach decide if that is what he/she wants. Were I the losing coach, I would appreciate the offer, but gracefully not accept, and wish the game to continue regardless of score. The losing coach should use this as a rallying point for the team, go over the game video, TEACH the players how to overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges. These little life lessons of failure in sports (or other activities) should be embraced as a learning opportunity.
I was a little league (coed ages 10-12) baseball coach (in the US for what seems a few lifetimes ago) and when we lost I would sit with the kids and discuss the game with them, as a team. If kids started pointing fingers at other team members, I would step in and remind that kid that he/she made mistakes in the game too. We win or we lose together, as a team. Also, there are always a few really good players on any team...and with them, it's a one-on-one to explain that they are looked upon by the others ad have a responsibility to be a good sport and set an example. By teaching that aspect, it does help soften the singular hurt they feel...but also (hopefully) instills a sense of depending on and being depended upon by everyone on the team.

I actually had run into kids I had coached many years later, when they were adults. And each one stopped to thank me for helping them understand that aspect of losing, and how to change it into an opportunity to improve. It actually made my heart skip a beat or two at times, knowing I helped someone grow as a person from a little baseball game.