A Letter From A Dragon (DRG2015).

Hi ATS story-tellers and readers.
Here's my dragon story:

"A Letter Form A Dragon:

You humans are such hypocrites.
You burn, lash and flay one another, yet you discriminate against me for being a dragon!
Since they first found me as an egg in a Peruvian cave, you’ve done nothing but make me feel lonely and segregated.
Although I never learnt how to make much more than a spark as a young dragon, the teachers in the laboratory always washed out my jowls with soap.
Yeah, even when I just accidentally yawned, farted or sneezed, and set a textbook or desk on fire.
Later I was good enough to light up cigarettes or water pipes as a party trick.
Ooh, look at Puff, he’ll light it up because he’s the “magic dragon”.
Bah, what a bunch of losers, and yet I enjoyed being the token dragon for a while.
It wasn’t all bad – I didn’t mind playing baseball with my tail, or chewing kilos of tobacco, or downing beer kegs by the liter.
The inscription on my egg said I needed gold to eat, and I recall the bitter constipation when my foster mom tried to shove Dollar notes down my throat.
That was just stupid, as if I could survive on a metaphor. Duh.
No wonder I like wearing my bling, in case I ever need a snack.
I’ve never needed much, and don’t get me wrong - I’m very grateful to my beneficiaries and the Wildlife funds that support me as an endangered species.
Still, I sometimes feel that as a thirty-year-old dragon I’ve never had a true friend.
It’s like the first time somebody handed me a cake of soap, and it was rasped away by my scales within a second.
I feel that since then nobody has really trusted me again.
But what can I give back … only an empty claw?
I’m not trusted or fit enough for anything else any more – I can’t even fight for any country, because I’m “endangered”.
I’m like a novelty dragon who outlived his fifteen minutes of scariness.
I even make people yawn in Wagner operas nowadays.

And don’t even tell me about the girls.
They love to pose for adverts, while I wrap my tail around them, like a goofy, grinning anaconda.
They love to be wined and dined around my cheese fondue cauldron.
But try to have a date and meet the parents!
My sensitive ears can hear the conversations in the kitchen: “Honey, we’re not speciesist, and we don’t mind that your brother keeps a pet iguana. It’s OK to be friends with this dragon, but there’s no future in this relationship”.
Just because I coughed by mistake and set the Christmas decorations on fire.
The way these mothers carry on, one could swear I sweat uranium, and that their daughters will have an egg next week!

One drunken night I got so lonely that I spiked my spines, and flew all the way to Scotland to look for Nessie.
It almost caused a global nuclear defense crisis.
They kept me in a cage for months afterwards.
Then they clipped my wings – just because I was searching for love.
Did I find her?
That’s for me to know.
A gentleman never reveals such things.

Well, that’s a bit of my life as a dragon.
I know we all have problems, but I have centuries of them to go.
Look, it’s not all hell.
I have my estate and my little luxuries.
As long as I toe the line of the zoo and my sponsors.
Maybe after a century or so I’ll get so lonely that I’ll swim back to Nessie.
I’m sure you will all understand if I try.

Peace out – Puff".

a reply to: halfoldman

The contest just started actually. Be sure to link your story here to officially enter in the contest.

Cool story man!

a reply to: CagliostroTheGreat

Thanks.

I read somewhere "winner's announced" and was thus a bit confused, but I've adjusted my intro, and have linked to the contest:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

a reply to: halfoldman

Very Good!! Thanx for the smiles!!! Syx.

a reply to: halfoldman

Yay! Nessie got a mention!

It almost caused a global nuclear defense crisis.

That made me laugh, great story!

Ah! I really liked your Puff with Attitude!

Great story - enjoyed it and was most definitely entertained!!

- AB

a reply to: halfoldman

Nessie is a dragon? O.o

Or dragon just has a thing for plesiosaurs? Haha

Without going into a cryptozoological tangent (and some creationist documentaries do try to connect dinosaurs and dragons), without hard evidence Nessie can be whatever one wants her to be.

I think I strongly imply in the story that Nessie is a female dragon.
However, she's not out of the closet or publicly visible, and thus eschews some of the social stigma that my protagonist experiences as a dragon.
Perhaps she made a different arrangement with humans at a different time, where power doesn't harass her as long as she stays very discrete and invisible.
Maybe that's why she lives close to water - unlike Puff she won't set anything on fire accidentally.

Considering Puff's narrative, is it any wonder that she (and perhaps some other dragons) might choose to remain shy and willingly apart from modern human society?
There's some implied social critique in that.

Ha. This story made me laugh.

Very nice. Thanks!

CdT