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Violence against men=ok. Against women? Not so much....

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posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 02:16 AM
So this is one of those touchy, probably going to get a bunch of snappy, argumentative retorts for having an opinion rant. The kind where some will get it and some won’t. Bear with me though, all will be revealed.

So now I have a teenager. Well actually I've had one for almost a year now, heading into the not quite a woman but still a little bit of a girl phase. Somewhere in between. Right now, parents of teens reading this will be silently nodding their heads in understanding.

Naturally with teens comes teen friends, a gaggle of never-ending noise, squeals, fashionable clothing and dad never quite being good enough. I’m told it passes. I sure hope so.

So in among every group of friends is the exceptionally boisterous type. You know, the one that stands on the shoulders of the other girls to be seen and heard. Yeah, that one.

So here I am the other day, going about my usual Templar business, when the conversation turns to a rather touchy subject. Now usually this kind of stuff is tuned out, I do try to respect my daughter and not eavesdrop where possible, but this grabbed my attention. And not in a good way.

“Yeah you just kick ‘em in the nuts. Anytime they deserve it. Just kick ‘em and they’ll go down.”

The loudmouth obviously.

Anytime they deserve it.

Let that sink in for a minute and observe the implications of such a statement. And then understand this was uttered proudly by a 13 year old. A few agreed, a few were quiet. Naturally I stewed on this for a bit, deciding whether to say something to the group about how violence against men is no better than violence against women, no matter what path society currently has us circling the drain with.
I decided against it, as teenage girls tend not to listen to adults, much less grown men. I did have the conversation with my daughter later though, about how she felt about it. I can say it was probably the most awkward conversation we've had in recent times. Her general take though, was it wasn't ok, unless it was absolutely necessary. Like life threateningly necessary.

Now I’ll just stop here, as no doubt the misandrists will be gearing up for a showdown of the sexes and make one thing clear:

Violence against women is not ok. Any woman. Ever. EVER.

But realistically, what would be the difference between a group of guys stating that if a woman got out of control it would be ok to “punch her out” or slap her down” anytime she deserved it? I can tell you what; there’d be cries of anger on the streets, women wanting boys to be tried as adults, and all kinds of feminist nonsense. But a guy “deserves it” and you just kick him one in the nether regions? Sure, no problem. All’s good in the world.

So bearing in mind youthful exuberance, I decided today to speak with the girl’s mother about it, to see if she realised that her daughter saw this an acceptable act. I have dealt with several of my daughter’s friend’s mothers before, but this was not what I was expecting. Kind of a bogan/feral* (see below for translation), I approached the conversation carefully, as everyone tends to get offended about everything these days.

Her response?

“Oh yeah I encourage both my girls to give a swift kick in the nuts when men need it. It keeps them in line, reminds them who’s boss. Works for me.”

So I tried my line about how encouraging violence against men was no better, and how she would feel having boys who spoke about women or even girls this way, and she went off on some facebook-esque rant about how boys need to be taught to respect women, and we need to teach our sons that respecting women is paramount. Needless to say I ended the conversation rather quickly and left, silently hoping I can persuade my daughter not to have this girl in her circle of friends somewhere in the near future.

So how about this instead? How about we teach our daughters, instead of violence being ok, that men are not just sexual predators waiting to happen. That they can be trusted, and women, especially young teens who are both very impressionable and clever that they can turn to a man when they need to. That this kind of violence, from either of the sexes, should only be used in extreme circumstances and not be something a 13 year old girl is proud of.

I would like to think I have attempted to raise both my daughters from a young age not to distrust the opposite sex, but be educated and vigilant against threats of any kind. Yes, we live in a sick world, I have no doubt of this, but women, especially mothers need to abandon this ‘every man is a rapist’ attitude they are instilling in their young girls, and stop needlessly brainwashing them that violence for anything and everything is the answer when dealing with men.

Bogan and Feral translations

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 02:25 AM
I'm the mother of a teenage daughter and I agree entirely with everything you've said. I have taught my daughter that violence is the last option.

I have also taught her to not go after a man.... Like a man. I taught her that if she insists on acting like a man, that one day she will run into a man that will treat her like she is acting. I did not teach her to accept violence by any means, but she knows that she can't act like she has no home training to ANYBODY for no reason. She has been taught to protect herself against men AND women.

This double standard crap doesn't fly in my house and I have tried my damndest not to propagate it even further through society through my own daughter.

I'm not sure when we (as the human race) will stop creating divisions where there are none needed. It almost seems like we have to create more of them all of the time.
edit on 1/11/2015 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:08 AM
I see your side of the argument on this. I thought maybe it was taken out of context and you would discover that to kick them in the nuts was for an extreme circumstance, but it seems this mother thinks it's something you 'just do'. Of course that is wrong! It's wrong she teaches her daughter and this girl passes this along to others like your daughter. All you can do is to teach your daughter it's wrong. That mother probably didn't care what you though. She must have been abused by a man in her life.

However on the opposite side of this, some men do say " just punch the bitch in the head" and go about 'teaching' this and DOING it. It's wrong either way. Yet a mans punch is much harder than a woman's! I understand it must hurt like crazy to be kicked in the nuts, and can do serious damage.

The only thing you can do is to teach your own children what you think is right and hope and pray they are hearing this. It often doesn't go over too well telling them who to hang around with. I've tried, it doesn't work. Later on they figure it out though and agree I was right.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:17 AM
a reply to: violet

I think it was more the mother's response that worried me than anything else. Kids will be kids no matter what, but to have it both glorified and accepted by the mother to the daughter actually scared me a bit.

One of the big problems with society in general is violence is becoming so normal that things like this become an accepted part of our world, which is also wrong. Since posting the thread I have also learned this particular mother encourages her daughters to carry pocket knives 'to warn men off.' I think sadly that chat may have to be sooner than later.

I understand the need for protection we as parents have, but to me it is just a bit too extreme for my liking, not to mention lop-sided in the ignorance between male and female.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:24 AM
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

My eldest starts adult karate this year when she hits 14. She is as high as she can go as a child, but will begin with proper physical contact as of a few months. That means she can well defend herself from any threat, but has had it drummed into her for almost three years that it is used as a defense, not a weapon for bullying or even keeping men in line.

The part I don't understand about the whole 'kick in the nuts' thing is it isn't really necessary except in circumstances help won't be coming. Then go for it. In most cases, making a gigantic ruckus will generally bring people around you to question and step in if required.

More than anything I trust both my girls to be smart enough to resolve any situation without the need to get violent. Lucky for me they are both switched on and know the difference between control and need. I guess having them both raised by a single dad for much of their years could change the perspective, but I always wanted my girls to be able to trust a man if they needed to, not view them as the enemy or a potential rapist.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:26 AM
taught mine that men dont hit women .. taught my daughter women dont hit men .. the only time use of force is acceptable is in defense of the elderly .. weak and children or in self defense .. along with taught all of them martial arts to 1. stay fit 2. gain self discipline 3. defend themselves.. 4. clan tradition ..

In todays politically correct world it seems men are fair game to get beaten by feminists ..

even though raised not to hit women .. and never have hit a woman .. due the feminist attitude that violence to men is acceptable .. my policy has changed .. anyone attacks me will use whatever force necessary to defend myself .. they want equal then will treat them equal and they better be prepared for the consequences. I dont pull my punches when attacked.

Unfortuneatly the day when humans learn that men and women are meant to balance each other out and share life together is still centuries away...

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:39 AM
a reply to: 74Templar

I think it's illegal to carry pocket knives isn't it? Seems this mother is being overly cautious and it stems from her suffering some assault by a man perhaps?

Definitely sounds like you shouldn't let this kid in your home or around your child. If she's carrying weapons that's not good.

edit on 11-1-2015 by violet because: (no reason given)

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:42 AM
a reply to: 74Templar

I find it hard to disagree with anything in your post, and view it less of a rant and more as something that should be common sense, but for some reason common sense tends to not be as common as it's name would imply.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:43 AM
a reply to: 74Templar

Look into some BJJ. If I am ever graced with a daughter I plan on having her learn it.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:47 AM
a reply to: Expat888

Exactly the same attitude here friend. I get kind of cranky when the whole equal rights thing rears it's ugly head. And I can confirm many feminists are happy to be treated as equals except when the deck isn't stacked in their favour.

Both girls have learned karate from an early age, it has many benefits, self discipline, fitness, not to mention confidence.

There was only incidence where things got out of hand, and it was more a case of being bullied, standing up for yourself. Unfortunately rage took hold and the bully got a lot more than he bargained for. Again though, this was a case of an older boy thinking it was ok to pick on and physically abuse my daughter. When he was put down finally, it was in front of half the school, and my daughter took a little while to stop. But that was the end of that I can tell you.

And of course, 100% right in saying the lines have been sadly blurred when it comes to genders in the 21st century. Men and women are different as they are the same, and we're meant to compliment each other, not be at war.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:51 AM
a reply to: violet

It is, and I don't know if it's true or not, just information passed on. It is kind of frightening though, both from a potentially life threatening perspective and one of monkey-see monkey-do also.

I don't know the mother's history, she had a boyfriend, although he tended to stay hidden. Not to be judgmental, but my initial take was she kind of that bogan, redneck, welfare queen type. The kind that smashes windows at the welfare office if you get my drift.

I can say one thing though, any 13 year old coming into my house with any kind of weapon will not be welcome for long.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 03:53 AM
a reply to: OccamsRazor04

Learning any kind of martial arts has massive benefits, especially for kids.

We all do karate, and my youngest, my partner and myself also box.

If nothing else it's a killer way to stay fit.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 05:00 AM
a reply to: 74Templar
I think you have to go with your gut instinct on this, if it doesn't feel right it probably isn't. I wouldn't let that kid in my house. Sounds like a bad influence and kids are easily influenced at that age. If she's taking this weapon to school it's most likely against the rules and you might be able to report that. Who knows who she's being told to use it against. I most certainly wouldnt arm my child with any type of weapon!

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 09:08 AM
a reply to: 74Templar
Kids are impressionable, both from their parents and from their peers. To each their own but, when you spread ideas it becomes a problem.

Weapons are great, but without discipline and wisdom to apply them, you become as much of a threat as what you defending from.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 09:32 AM
Just curious. If it was a father that taught his daughter this would it have had different meaning?

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 06:54 PM
a reply to: intrepid

I think you'd be hard pressed to find any father that would encourage this kind of behaviour as normal, or consider it something you just do for the hell of it.

And to be honest, if you did, you probably shouldn't have kids anyway.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 07:08 PM

originally posted by: 74Templar
a reply to: intrepid

I think you'd be hard pressed to find any father that would encourage this kind of behaviour as normal, or consider it something you just do for the hell of it.

And to be honest, if you did, you probably shouldn't have kids anyway.

My kids are all adults. I'm just trying to determine where this is coming from.

posted on Jan, 11 2015 @ 09:57 PM
Would it be too late for the mini-bogan to benefit from martial arts training?

I'm not anxious to add yet more weapons to her arsenal but if she could attend some lessons with your daughter she might learn how to be more responsible.

She certainly needs something to sway her away from her mother's influence.

posted on Jan, 12 2015 @ 12:46 AM
a reply to: intrepid

I really don't know the parents apart from small town stuff and what I've seen myself, but I see where you're coming from.

I guess as fathers we teach our girls that quick fix for if they are in real danger, but have that responsibility also that it is not to be just used whenever it's felt like. I mean even in karate we teach it as a last resort, and you have to admit, any guy will admit readily it is very effective at taking you out of the equation quickly.

As for the mother? I guess maybe knowing the history would understand the scenario of why she feels that way of course, but it was so casual coming across as to be frightening. Like she would just do it if she was having a bad day or disagreed with your opinion bad.

In any event, not something we should be teaching either sex is acceptable.

posted on Jan, 12 2015 @ 12:54 AM
a reply to: berenike

To be honest I'd be a bit concerned about her learning any form of self-defence and what she would potentially do with it.

If she's already talking weapons like knives, god forbid she learns holds and throws.

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