So this is one of those touchy, probably going to get a bunch of snappy, argumentative retorts for having an opinion rant. The kind where some will
get it and some won’t. Bear with me though, all will be revealed.
So now I have a teenager. Well actually I've had one for almost a year now, heading into the not quite a woman but still a little bit of a girl
phase. Somewhere in between. Right now, parents of teens reading this will be silently nodding their heads in understanding.
Naturally with teens comes teen friends, a gaggle of never-ending noise, squeals, fashionable clothing and dad never quite being good enough. I’m
told it passes. I sure hope so.
So in among every group of friends is the exceptionally boisterous type. You know, the one that stands on the shoulders of the other girls to be seen
heard. Yeah, that one.
So here I am the other day, going about my usual Templar business, when the conversation turns to a rather touchy subject. Now usually this kind of
stuff is tuned out, I do try to respect my daughter and not eavesdrop where possible, but this grabbed my attention. And not in a good way.
“Yeah you just kick ‘em in the nuts. Anytime they deserve it. Just kick ‘em and they’ll go down.”
The loudmouth obviously.
Anytime they deserve it.
Let that sink in for a minute and observe the implications of such a statement. And then understand this was uttered proudly by a 13 year old. A few
agreed, a few were quiet. Naturally I stewed on this for a bit, deciding whether to say something to the group about how violence against men is no
better than violence against women, no matter what path society currently has us circling the drain with.
I decided against it, as teenage girls tend not to listen to adults, much less grown men. I did have the conversation with my daughter later though,
about how she felt about it. I can say it was probably the most awkward conversation we've had in recent times. Her general take though, was it
wasn't ok, unless it was absolutely necessary. Like life threateningly necessary.
Now I’ll just stop here, as no doubt the misandrists will be gearing up for a showdown of the sexes and make one thing clear:
Violence against women is not ok. Any woman. Ever. EVER.
But realistically, what would be the difference between a group of guys stating that if a woman got out of control it would be ok to “punch her
out” or slap her down” anytime she deserved it? I can tell you what; there’d be cries of anger on the streets, women wanting boys to be tried as
adults, and all kinds of feminist nonsense. But a guy “deserves it” and you just kick him one in the nether regions? Sure, no problem. All’s
good in the world.
So bearing in mind youthful exuberance, I decided today to speak with the girl’s mother about it, to see if she realised that her daughter saw this
an acceptable act. I have dealt with several of my daughter’s friend’s mothers before, but this was not what I was expecting. Kind of a
bogan/feral* (see below for translation), I approached the conversation carefully, as everyone tends to get offended about everything these days.
“Oh yeah I encourage both my girls to give a swift kick in the nuts when men need it. It keeps them in line, reminds them who’s boss. Works for
So I tried my line about how encouraging violence against men was no better, and how she would feel having boys who spoke about women or even girls
this way, and she went off on some facebook-esque rant about how boys need to be taught to respect women, and we need to teach our sons that
respecting women is paramount. Needless to say I ended the conversation rather quickly and left, silently hoping I can persuade my daughter not to
have this girl in her circle of friends somewhere in the near future.
So how about this instead? How about we teach our daughters, instead of violence being ok, that men are not just sexual predators waiting to happen.
That they can be trusted, and women, especially young teens who are both very impressionable and clever that they can turn to a man when they need to.
That this kind of violence, from either of the sexes, should only be used in extreme circumstances and not be something a 13 year old girl is proud
I would like to think I have attempted to raise both my daughters from a young age not to distrust the opposite sex, but be educated and vigilant
against threats of any kind. Yes, we live in a sick world, I have no doubt of this, but women, especially mothers need to abandon this ‘every man is
a rapist’ attitude they are instilling in their young girls, and stop needlessly brainwashing them that violence for anything and everything is the
answer when dealing with men.