The Loss of Femininity in The USA

originally posted by: galadofwarthethird
a reply to: Bluesma

... in fact I do believe the road to happiness for women is just to find somebody they can boss around,

It's the exact opposite.

A woman will have ZERO respect for a guy who lets her boss him around. That's being a wussy boy. It will destroy the relationship if a guy lets the woman boss him around.

Why would a woman want a man who she can boss around? How is that type of guy going to fare in the real world if he can't even stand up to his own woman?

a reply to: Jamie1
No offense.

But from the little I have read of you and ran into you. I would say your likely that kind of woman. I mean I get the whole polarity thing...Ok I dont really get it. But I am sure it may be something. Besides have you ever actually had to test out your theory? I think you may just go back to the wussy guys after a time, ya know that way somebody will take you seriously and you wont be so down and out.

NO really. You people do seem to lean toward the extremes in some ways. The majority of these wussy guys are created by the bossy women, and vice versa it seems to me, sooner or latter you end up eating each-other, if not grating on each-others nerves, two ends of the pendulum swing. But the alternative may just be worse, or at least more mind numbing, lets just say it may confuse the living bejebus out of ya. Because frankly I do not think that what you think none wussy guys are what you think that you think they are. Know what I am saying?

Besides. Just exactly what real world we talking about here? The one envisioned in you head right? The world and rules you make up and now believe some stranger you dont know, now must somehow abide by and carry you along as well and all at a whims notice.

I mean dont get me wrong. You may be on to something. Or you may not.

originally posted by: galadofwarthethird
a reply to: Jamie1
No offense.

But from the little I have read of you and ran into you. I would say your likely that kind of woman. I mean I get the whole polarity thing...Ok I dont really get it. But I am sure it may be something. Besides have you ever actually had to test out your theory? I think you may just go back to the wussy guys after a time, ya know that way somebody will take you seriously and you wont be so down and out.

NO really. You people do seem to lean toward the extremes in some ways. The majority of these wussy guys are created by the bossy women, and vice versa it seems to me, sooner or latter you end up eating each-other, if not grating on each-others nerves, two ends of the pendulum swing. But the alternative may just be worse, or at least more mind numbing, lets just say it may confuse the living bejebus out of ya. Because frankly I do not think that what you think none wussy guys are what you think that you think they are. Know what I am saying?

Besides. Just exactly what real world we talking about here? The one envisioned in you head right? The world and rules you make up and now believe some stranger you dont, know now must somehow abide by and carry you along as well and all at a whims notice.

I mean dont get me wrong. You may be on to something. Or you may not.

Three things.

First, just look around. Be observant. Relationships that suck are usually relationships with no polarity. And in my observations, 9 times out of 10 that's caused by guys being super feminine.

Two, ask women. Go ahead. Think of it as a challenge.

Three, experiment in your own life. Get a book that talks about polarity. Visit websites that talk about polarity. Learn the qualities that are associated with being masculine energy and be those qualities around women. Report back your results.

a reply to: Jamie1
Oh look at this. Does it not seem like you are bossing someone around already. NO! I will not do all those things you say. It sounds like homework, I never liked homework even in school when I was a kid. So why is it that you think that I should do all that and this so called research?

You want me to report back results?

OK how about I skip all that and go a different route. Its more time saving and super effective.

First of all. What your talking about, well you may not have noticed it, or have overlooked it. But like I said in my other post. You have polarity there already. So why dont you explain to me how it is these so called wussy guys come into being? Do they pass through a membrane form another dimension into ours? Are they designed and build in a factory on the express lane?

Like I said before, they are the direct result of for the most part there mothers. Many of which were just like you. So you have your polarity there, and that pendulum swings both ways, but it rarely swings the way you want it. So really you could say you have been in polarity your whole life. You may not like it and things may not have gone quite like you envisioned. But really why blame guys because they wont be what you want them to be like? How is that for contrast on things. You do know that in polarity things are not some magical happy go lucky thing? They are an evolving back and forth thing, and sometimes in one part it may work, but at the turn of the wheel it may not. ect.

Two, ask women. Go ahead. Think of it as a challenge. Three, experiment in your own life. Get a book that talks about polarity. Visit websites that talk about polarity. Learn the qualities that are associated with being masculine energy and be those qualities around women. Report back your results.

So basically what you want is somebody to model themself after some books you read. Seems like a very feminine thing to do. I would say that right there is a very feminine trait. But even most women eventually realize that most dudes did not read or watch any of the books or movies they have and patterned there thoughts after it. In fact most of it is just stupid stuff. Likely these books were written by a woman, or a gay dude. It would be kind of like if a guy wants to know how to get with a girl, so he goes up to and asks the advice of his gay friends or girl buddies.

Do you not think there would be some inconsistencies in any of that?

I know its quite shocking to most women when they finally realize there guy did not read any Jane Austen books and never watched the things Oprah said on the TV. But hey! They just may be better off for it. That's polarity for you.

Though you may be right on this whole feminine or male energy. I myself am felling much to feminine, I may need to get rid of some of it or all, you know. I do not think if I was more manly I would be bothering even trying to contemplate all that your saying, # I may just tell you to go funk off and probably hit the bar or something.

Basically what I am trying to say...NO I will not read up on all this #. And I sure as hell wont be reporting back. It just does not sound interesting, and I think I know a bit more on this polarity thing they you or those books on it could say. I could be wrong, I mean you dont know till you try, it could be that I look it up, and be all like "oh dam, I did not know that" ... But I seriously doubt it.

a reply to: Jamie1
Here some more polarity for you, a vid, one of a few I looked into on the youtube, its oh so mysterious, it even says so, in the title. So it must be true. Ya!

Though not the kind you intended I think. I think you may just have to come to terms that this whole polarity thing is not some magical cure all thing you seem to think. I am sure you got some ideas on how it is and how it should go down and how it will all be magical and all.

I think for the most part, its like be carefuller what you wish for sort of thing. Polarity in itself is just set into a mode, ie mental modular formation, everybody for the most part is polarized into one thing or another one group or another. It may be not the word you are looking for in whatever it is your trying to get at.

And how all of this fits into relationships or these so called polarity relationships you seem to go on about. Then really I think what you all need and want, well again its somebody to be exactly what you think they should be? Tully, should not be that hard. Oh I am only joking. Good luck with that stuff. Though I think you and everybody else may be better off on starting small first. You know, try living with whoever, or whatever issues you have with boyfriends or what not, and if you do not kill each other in a few years, and if it lasts that long. Then maybe it just may be as close a thing to success as there is...Or not! Do whatever eh? Just inform the poor guy about it this time around. So that way there will be less confusion on things.

I know! I know. Not the type of polarity "mythos" you were expecting me to look at. And yes "mythos" is the right word. It all seems so full of make believe and religious fervor. I do not think I can stomach to read half the crap women seem to have made up on this whole mysterious cult of relationship polarity. Some other day maybe, though not any time soon that's for sure.

originally posted by: Jamie1


It's the exact opposite.

A woman will have ZERO respect for a guy who lets her boss him around. That's being a wussy boy. It will destroy the relationship if a guy lets the woman boss him around.

Why would a woman want a man who she can boss around? How is that type of guy going to fare in the real world if he can't even stand up to his own woman?

True, dat.

When I was young, I found myself trying to push my mate to stand up to me, to help him develop his ability to put up boundries. It was pure provocation. How was I going to feel safe when in a vulnerable state like pregnancy or with small children under my charge with a husband that is a yes man to everyone around, who only seeks to appease? It was important to me that he be capable of having a strong character.

He wanted to develop a strong character too, so he didn't mind the challenges, which were like a practice exercise. We were both going in the same direction, deep down. If he failed and gave in, it was a bit of a let down, but we both understood we were in it for the long haul, and one failure in a long process of development isn't worth stressing over.

I needed to learn to trust and be able to depend on another human being too (which was hard for me), so I was working towards that at the same time. -That turned out to be a major challenge. We learn, in our country, how to be so independent so early that opening to another and trusting them to take the wheel at times was extremely scary !

It took a lot of honest communication and understanding.

Most of my female friends (whom I have put in the friendzone) are complete wrecks as people. Nice friends, but they know they're damaged. I meet a lot of women. Online, offline. I probably have a new conversation with 4-5 women daily who would be 'prospects' in another era or time. And the supply of women who have their mental S*** together, sane, AND feminine....is shrinking daily in my opinion.

I'm 40, I've dated a good number, so I speak from a world of experience. Out of 10 female friends I would date ONE, and she's physically not attractive, but she's feminine, sweet, and she loves her boyfriend to death...

All the others. Drunks, addicts, Princesses, demanding...or personality disorders which usually involve a LOT of attention seeking. A lot of them curse worse than pirates, or are overly SEXUAL...not sensual...not seductive. Some have asked me why I didn't view them as datable, and I usually say some joke to change the subject. But a few I've told the truth too, that while I love them as friends, they remind me of MEN...

Almost every female in my life spends so much time on Facebook, which takes time away from their self development/growth. Then when they envision a guy they want, it's some movie role or book fantasy....nowhere close to real life and involving a man they could NEVER get with ideas of a relationship that would NEVER happen.

Wanna see the state of women in the dating world. Go online and peruse women's profiles. Mean spirited, demanding, writing all kinds of negative or closed off commentary out the gate, unusual "deal breakers" which almost no man could meet if she went down the list. Or in the converse it's overly sexual photos, overly egocentric, "look at me" type of attention getting with NO intention of dating.

I dont know if it's so much as "femininity" has been lost, as it is women have lost their ever loving freaking minds. Like I said, I meet and talk to a LOT of women and I can only think of a few I know that I would date. One particular that I'm working on and even SHE has some weird issues going on.

What happened to women in America? It gets stranger by the year.

And the guys I know in relationships. THEY ARE playing the role of the Woman. But thats an entire OTHER subject. It's like I can SEE the difference between the genders still, but the line where I FEEL genders is blurring. Women are pretending to be women, and men are pretending to be men, and the whole thing is weirding me out.