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Question: Is Being Offended A Personal Choice?

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posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:11 PM
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originally posted by: ausername

You chose to be slightly offended.

It was a clever post.



Correct -There are so many degrees and variations on offense.
It's impossible to narrow it down and know which are genuine and beyond ones control and which are manufactured as an excuse to carry out something terrible or point score or politicize.
edit on 8-1-2015 by stargatetravels because: (no reason given)




posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:12 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

No one has the right to NOT be offended. People are not injured by being offended, and eff you to those who think they are. If not being offended is truly is a right then by reductio ad absurdem, this means everything is illegal because somebody will always be offended by something.

Being offended by something DOES NOT restrict anyone's ability to practice their beliefs to the extant that their beliefs are practiced by those that believe them, ie abortion don't believe in it, don't have one. Legally you won't be forced to have one, no violation there. Speak out about your belief in not aborting, it won't be restricted. Shoot a doctor or firebomb a clinic, get the swift hammer of justice. When your beliefs are forced on onto others is the line where your rights END. PERIOD.

Personally I find the Westboro lunatics extremely offensive, but as much as I despise them, I DO NOT have the right to prevent them publicly spewing their bile until they start violently attacking others. Speech is not a violent attack. If you are too stupid to understand this basic concept, then we have nothing to say to eachother. Now get over yourselves and start acting civilly.


edit on 8-1-2015 by th3dudeabides because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:13 PM
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originally posted by: LewsTherinThelamon
a reply to: Jamie1


Do you believe being offended is a personal choice based on what you choose to believe?

And if so, what justification is there for wanting people change their behaviors so that you don't upset yourself with your own beliefs?


Being offended is a personal choice. People have more control over their emotions than they realize.

If person A displays behavior X, and behavior X is not stepping on someone's rights, and person B is offended by behavior X--then person A should not be forced to stop the behavior. Most likely, forcing person A to stop will actually result in person A's rights being stepped on.

Initiating the use of force to stop someone from doing something that is not harming you, and something that you simply don't like, is one of the most detestable human behaviors.

Using force to stop said person from coercing you should be the ultimate law of every civilization.

The majority of people do not question the prevailing beliefs of their culture. They take for granted both small beliefs and big beliefs.

Especially with little things. No one can give you a reasonable answer as to why they believe that cuss words are bad, they simply believe it because they were trained to, and they're offended by it for the same reason. They don't know why, but they just react without questioning, and many people expect others to conform to their arbitrary language standards. I always flat-out refuse to, I always tell people that ask me to, to give me one valid reason and I will--they never do. I won't be steam-rolled by ignorance. They are not special, and their feelings of being offended on such a frivolous matter are best ignored. Many people claim that "it's so much more civil to just do what they say," but there is absolutely nothing civil about forcing someone to behave the way you want them to behave--especially when you have no idea why you want them to behave that way, and their behavior is neither harming you or anyone else.

Basically, we should end this society of soccer mom's that we have created. Allowing people to end behaviors that offends them is going to cause more harm to society than good.


Great points!

Especially about swear words! It goes to what TheArrow posted about "mores," collective, highly valued beliefs.

Great observation - there's nothing civil about forcing somebody to behave in the way you want them to behave -especially when you have no idea why you want them to behave that way, and their behavior is neither harming you or anyone else.

And you explained why some people desperately cling to their right to be "offended" - because it's an easy way to manipulate other people into getting them to do what you want.

And yes, it's reflected by the soccer mom and dad culture where everybody gets a trophy and we're not allowed to keep score.

There's a simple dichotomy:

I will change my behavior so you can be happy, OR you can change the meaning you give to my behavior so you can be happy.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:16 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

The problem is not all "beliefs" are created equal, some are inherent to the person themselves. Nature verses nurture. Some are nature, they can't just be turned on and off like a tap. You can attempt to fight and deny them, but that often causes more harm and personal trauma than accepting them does. These inherent aspects of a person nature are there for life, they cannot just be replaced with another belief so you feel better. Like being gay, or transgender, or many other things that are innate. You act like people can just change who they are willy nilly like it's no big thing.

Being transgender causes me to struggle at life, would be simple if I could just shrug it off, decide, nope not transgender and walk away from it all. It does not work, that kind of self denial is harmful. People are not all built identical in the mind, there are aspects of ourselves that are inherent, that we have to accept, the problem is finding out what's inherent, and what's B.S. If you let BS control you, you are in for a world of hurt, same as if you try to deny that which is an inherent part of who you are.

You seem under the delusion, there is no inherent nature to anyone and everything is just a choice we can switch on and off at will. When something attacks that which is an inherent part of who you are, it hurts, is completely reactionary, once that happens you can control how you react to it, but you can't not feel the pain. A good way to find out what is and is not inherent is whether you have to decide to be offended or not. If it's an inherent gut reaction probably in herent, if you have to say, wait what? to yourself before you get offended, probably bs.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:17 PM
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originally posted by: Jamie1
There's a simple dichotomy:

I will change my behavior so you can be happy, OR you can change the meaning you give to my behavior so you can be happy.



It was a great honor when you decided that my family was a big enough threat to your way of life that you raped and murdered them while I watched.

Thank you.


Something like that?
edit on 8-1-2015 by TheArrow because: clarity.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:22 PM
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a reply to: th3dudeabides

I still can't understand what in the world that church can find so offensive that they would be willing to interrupt family/friends while saying goodbye to someone they loved.

Can you imagine if they tried that in the 1940's-1950's?

Their church would have been run out of town.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:24 PM
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originally posted by: CharlieSpeirs
a reply to: Jamie1

I think anyone who would make that decision based on monetary gain fails at being a Human imo.


No I wouldn't, but again, we're all different.


Ok, to remind everybody reading, this is the thought experiment about tearing the wings off a butterfly.

Would you rip the wings off a butterfly? No.

How about for $1 million dollars?

Your belief is that somebody who would rip the wings off a butterfly for $1 million fails as a human being.

What if they used the $1 million to put inner city kids though college?

What if they used the $1 million to sponsor 3,000 orphans in India?

What if they used the $1 million to build a medical center in Haiti?

Does that affect your belief? One butterfly (that has a lifespan of a few days) is more valuable than putting 10 inner city kids though college, or 3,000 orphans in India, or having a medical center in Haiti?

What if it was killing a spider, not a butterfly? Is that failing as a human?

This isn't about judging somebody, it's about becoming aware of our own beliefs, our own values, and how malleable they really are.

Serious question: Do you think if the U.N. approached the Islamic terrorists who are offended by photos of Muhammed and said, "Look, we have an idea. We'll give you $100 billion a year. We'll create a new country for Isreal in the middle of Montana. All you have to do is be cool with people drawing photos of Mohammed."

Do you think some of those offended last week might be less offended if they were paid $100 billion a year?

Are you starting to see how being offended is contextual, and if it's contextual, it must be a choice?



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:28 PM
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a reply to: FalcoFan

Westboro Baptist Church are the only Christians I do understand, actually. Here is my insight.

If the Bible is to be taken as truth, Jesus is the Son of the Creator of the Universe. A Living God. Think about that for a minute. Jesus came here to give us a way into heaven, and all we have to do is follow his rules. What could possibly be more important to a true believer than that single action?

WBC believes this to be the truth. WBC believes that God and Jesus have very specific outlines for how to live your life, and they follow them unerringly. We may not agree with their way of life, but they walk the walk, and talk the talk, unlike many other Christians today that don't follow what they believe Jesus said.

Having said that, I think they're idiots. But, then again, I don't have any use for the religious.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:30 PM
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That's not contextual it's a balancing scale.

It's having a scale with two sides, positive and negative, all you've done is overwhelmed the negative side by loading up excess positive. Different things have more or less negative weight depending on the individual, and other things have more positive weight depend on the individual and how important something is to them. You really like to think everything is all or nothing. There is no subtext or shades of grey.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:31 PM
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originally posted by: Turq1
a reply to: Jamie1

And with your first example, people then are offended by the number dead from the shooting. And sort of around it goes.

So many of the things people get miffed about are nothing new and happen practically everyday or probably more so without their knowing, why do it?

Especially when there are constructive things that can help ameliorate whatever problem. Wasted energy and can waste the energy of others or distract them.


Exactly!

And the only way to STOP the going around in circles is first just be aware that being offended is a choice. Stop mindlessly reacting. From a state of calm, you can think of solutions to the real world problems that are possibly win-win instead of win lose.

But if you don't become aware that being offended is your choice, then you're right, it will be an endless cycle.

And dead bodies aren't what's causing the offense. It's the meaning given to the dead bodies. Some give the dead bodies to mean they will work to make sure it stops, never happens again. Never again. Others react and in their reaction perpetuate the cycle.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:37 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

Being offended is its own form of aggression.

Passive, but aggressive at the same time.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:38 PM
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originally posted by: Jamie1
And the only way to STOP the going around in circles is first just be aware that being offended is a choice. Stop mindlessly reacting.


Reacting to being offended is the choice.

I don't really know any other way to say it to you, so that's probably my last word.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:38 PM
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originally posted by: pl3bscheese
Seriously, look at addiction. What of compulsions? This is naivety to think that everyone can perfectly control their reactions to offenses, just cause.

What you're saying is: I can jump this high, why can't you?

Variation is to such a degree, in genetics and experiences, which mold our psyche over time, that expecting the same results for everyone is absurd.

What I found from looking at addicts? No system works for everyone. No results will be entirely the same. No metrics of progress can objectively be standardized, they all require beliefs and values.

You can approach this from a philosophical stance, and try to push your own values or beliefs on others, but at the end of the day that's all you've done, is create an additional layer when your intention was to break down a system.


I've worked a lot with heroin addicts. What you describe is true.

And addictions are different in that there are some serious badass physical effects. I had a friend who was a junkie, and she told me to leave her place because she was going to shoot up. I asked if I could stay and watch. Man.... that was an eye-opening experience.

Still, many junkies start to shoot up because heroin is a fast fix to make them feel good in the moment. And it ruins their lives.

By showing a junkie that the source of their initial emotional pain is their beliefs, not their external circumstances, frees them from that emotional pain. They still have to deal with the conditioning, both psychological and physical. But when they see that their emotions are the direct consequence of the meanings they give to things in their lives, and that they can just be aware of this and the emotions dissolve, then at least they have a chance.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:48 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

Being offended is a natural response to something that belittles your indoctrinated sensibilities. We are all indoctrinated as we are given our world view from the education system, whichever system that may be for our location.
The choice is what you do as a result of being offended.
Im offended every time a politician opens their mouth. Should I go all Guy Fawkes about it? Of course not, Im not a mindless psychopathic brainwashed idiot.
I educate myself, then educate myself some more, and then a little bit more. We need answers, not chaos. Chaos is exactly what we dont want.

Poorly educated people are very easy to manipulate, and I dont see the education system getting better, only worse.


Its easy enough to say kill the evil fundamentalist bastards, but thats exactly how they see us, its how they have been "programmed" to see us. They are victims of a few very twisted individuals that have taken a religious ideology, reinterpreted it for sociopolitical reasons, added a large cup of barbarism and caveman like mentality for effect, and unleashed it onto the world like a biological weapon. The disease is spreading, we need to find a cure, and we certainly dont have time to worry about pissing off a few misguided sensibilities.

Brainwashing can be undone, murder cannot.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:55 PM
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originally posted by: Bobaganoosh
I don't have time to read the entire thread at the moment, but short answer is no. One cannot foresee what will offend him or her. What does come down to a true choice is the action or inaction one takes to any given offense.

I find myself offended daily on a range of subjects. The world just loves when it gets a knee jerk reaction from an offense, wether done in jest or the intention of reactionary response. Life is easier to let the offense wash over you and down the drain, just like anything that might contaminate us. If the world slings mud on you, are you going to run around screaming and crying covered in mud? I would think a rational person would wash the mud away and move on.

There are those out there who would rather be covered in mud looking for the sympathy of an unsympathetic world. I laugh at them and hope they take offense.


Boba


Great distinction! Foresee. Key word.

I would like to challenge that perception.

Of course you can foresee what might offend you. People.

People can only do three things: Think things, say things, and do things.

You can foresee that people might say and thing and do things that are not aligned with your beliefs or your values.

You can decide right now what meaning you will give to other people's thoughts, words, and actions.

You can decide right now that no matter what people say, think, or do, you will not be offended. You have the choice to give things whatever meaning you decide to give them.

Yes, people can cause you real world problems. They can steal your car. They can even hit you. Or try to kill you. You must deal with these real world, external problems.

But your internal, emotional state does NOT need to be one of these problems.

Think of it this way. How ridiculous is it for people to want to control other people's emotions and actions coming from a place of admitting they can't control their own?



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:56 PM
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originally posted by: TheArrow
originally posted by: Jamie1

There's a simple dichotomy:

I will change my behavior so you can be happy, OR you can change the meaning you give to my behavior so you can be happy.



It was a great honor when you decided that my family was a big enough threat to your way of life that you raped and murdered them while I watched.

Thank you.


Something like that?


That's a petty argument. Jamie1 was talking about behavior that brings no harm to another. Nice strawman.
edit on 8-1-2015 by LewsTherinThelamon because: (no reason given)

edit on 8-1-2015 by LewsTherinThelamon because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:56 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

I think you're failing to take notice of the difference between being offended, and acting out in response to these emotions. It's not a strong-mind that is never offended, it's a psychopathic mind.

Being offended is quite natural, and the only individuals who are not offended at least on occasion are those whose instinctual repulsion towards certain acts do not illicit a strength of cognition to properly come to the offended state.

Repusion is a product of feeling which is physiological in nature, and unconscious in origin. You can't will away the feelings, you can only rewire your psyche and become sociopathic due usually to trauma's in one's lifetime. So the bulk of offense lies in the feeling, not the cognition. You're placing it on the belief itself. That is not correct. The belief acts as a force mutiplier to compel an individual to react. What you're focusing on is the reaction and the belief, and not the instinct and feeling.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:56 PM
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a reply to: FalcoFan

Awwwwww bless military drones strikes for people who can see through the smoke screen of deceit in this bogus war on terror

Charming,you show as much backbone typing that here as the morality free cowards sitting in an air conditioned room in Nevada playing war with god mode on

To the OP,I clearly see where your coming but if you can't see why people can take offence to others comments you must be a heartless bastard

Concerning the tragic reactions by those extreme Muslims in France over this very intelligent and artistic drawing,that was the tipping point from countless wars of aggression and insults we have flung at them for far too long

You can't ignore the many life's we have snuffed out,but many choose to do so

Just heard an English diplomat on radio 4 saying that drawing was clever satire but offensive to so many and the BBC by law couldn't show it



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:57 PM
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originally posted by: humanityrising
Personally, I see a direct correlation between how unhappy someone is and how reactionary they are.


That's because all unhappiness IS a reaction.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:58 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

No. Being offended is not a choice. You can choose actions but not emotions. You can choose to learn not to let emotions control you and most people do that. Extremists however tend not to have any logic to moderate their actions. Psychopathic/Sociopathic extremists tend to get murderous if the wind blows wrong.




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