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Question: Is Being Offended A Personal Choice?

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posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:37 PM
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I don't have time to read the entire thread at the moment, but short answer is no. One cannot foresee what will offend him or her. What does come down to a true choice is the action or inaction one takes to any given offense.

I find myself offended daily on a range of subjects. The world just loves when it gets a knee jerk reaction from an offense, wether done in jest or the intention of reactionary response. Life is easier to let the offense wash over you and down the drain, just like anything that might contaminate us. If the world slings mud on you, are you going to run around screaming and crying covered in mud? I would think a rational person would wash the mud away and move on.

There are those out there who would rather be covered in mud looking for the sympathy of an unsympathetic world. I laugh at them and hope they take offense.


Boba




posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:37 PM
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originally posted by: FlyersFan
The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.


Question: Is Being Offended A Personal Choice?


In order to be personally offended you'd have to care what the 'offending' person thinks and you'd have to internalize what they say. Maybe I'm a cold hearted person but I really don't care what people think of me or my interests and I don't internalize what they say. Instead, when people say ignorant things I just feel disdain for their stupidity and I might feel bad for them because they are so ignorant.

But maybe that's just me ...

As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.


This is how I feel as well.

There is not a single thing anyone could type that would offend me.

With that said, some images might offend me.






edit on 8-1-2015 by whyamIhere because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:38 PM
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Personally, I see a direct correlation between how unhappy someone is and how reactionary they are.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:40 PM
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originally posted by: stargatetravels

originally posted by: CharlieSpeirs
No...


If I make an intentionally offensive statement about Cancer or Rape how can a person choose which emotional response that will invoke?

That's like saying you can choose to find something funny, or upsetting...
Or you can choose what angers you...

If it's a meaningless statement of course it can be a choice...


But your generalisations on the "taking offence" hypothesis I have explained are flawed numerous times.




Exactly right.
That said - the OP has been making some incredibly vile and ignorant posts in most of these threads.
So this thread is probably just more of the same.


Can you please post anything you believe was "incredibly vile and ignorant."

Just one example please?



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:40 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

Unless they were intentionally offensive such as a racist then the offensive person already exists.


Do you see where I'm coming from.


Cos I certainly understand that it can be a choice.

But I also know that's not always the case.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:42 PM
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originally posted by: Jamie1

originally posted by: stargatetravels

originally posted by: CharlieSpeirs
No...


If I make an intentionally offensive statement about Cancer or Rape how can a person choose which emotional response that will invoke?

That's like saying you can choose to find something funny, or upsetting...
Or you can choose what angers you...

If it's a meaningless statement of course it can be a choice...


But your generalisations on the "taking offence" hypothesis I have explained are flawed numerous times.




Exactly right.
That said - the OP has been making some incredibly vile and ignorant posts in most of these threads.
So this thread is probably just more of the same.


Can you please post anything you believe was "incredibly vile and ignorant."

Just one example please?


You chose to be slightly offended.

It was a clever post.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:42 PM
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Earlier on in my life I came across the subject of Mortification . "the subjection and denial of bodily passions and appetites by abstinence or self-inflicted pain or discomfort " also " a sense of humiliation and shame caused by something that wounds one's pride or self-respect
b : the cause of such humiliation or shame " www.merriam-webster.com... What I learned about this is that a person can and does make some choices as to what they can be offended by .We have the ability to lie and not feel any remorse for doing so .We can also be infuriated by someone lying to us . There does seem a mechanism we can use to free us from feelings of offence or that we can impose on ourselves to feel shame about subjects we may have not in the past .I think it can be achieved two ways .one is self orientated (overtly) and the other is supplanted (covertly ) ....I have to go into the subject of free speech for a moment . We know that some people are offended by vulgar speech and some people are sensitive this fact and self sensor . We also see that this site has T&C that deals with language and imposes those rules on the members . It's important to recognize the why's .Consideration of others . The saying that bad company can corrupt good morals is a important truth . Being a good example for others is important .So we are faced with good better best or just wrong .Lots of factors to incorporate into ones life to be able to progress but hardly any factors to consider to regress .



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:43 PM
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originally posted by: CharlieSpeirs
a reply to: ScientificRailgun

Depends on what you call freewill or associate that with...


If you associate it with every decision we make, I see a flaw, sort a paradoxical one...


If you see God, you know it's God, you feel it's God, you sense it with all your being...
& you can guaruntee that it's not a hallucination...

What decision would you make as a hypothetical Atheist/Agnostic?


Would freewill come into it, or would that decision be made for you.



More to your point, I think our reactions can be controlled in certain situations...
If I'm crossing at a red traffic lights I have 3 choices...
Cross without looking...
Look & cross...
Wait for the green light...

I do believe with such an example there is certain situations in life where our brain gives us enough time to react to the chemistry of the brain...


In flight or fight time shortens... Rapidly & vigorously...


A shorter answer than my diatribe would be "sometimes"

That is essentially the answer I came to as well. But, I'm no philosopher so I could be horribly wrong!



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:44 PM
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a reply to: whyamIhere

It's called being an adult.

I think that if an adult can't turn on their computer without bursting into tears-then they should throw the thing away.

I can't think of anything more babyish. (I hope that's a word,lol)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:46 PM
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a reply to: ScientificRailgun

I don't consider myself to be much of a philosopher either
...


Maybe that's what makes us philosophers.




posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:48 PM
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originally posted by: pl3bscheese
So the larger question seems to be, why would someone seek to remove all beliefs related to their being offended in any situation? It's as if someone values the removal of pain at the expense of dulling their instinct and good sense. I'd rather take the hit and know that it's for a cause larger than my self.



The goal is to become in control of one's own life, not allow others to control it.

Your spot in in your thinking. It's exactly what you said about beliefs. If beliefs are useful, there's no reason to remove them.

The key is if you aren't aware of those beliefs, then you have no choice. If you become aware of the beliefs that are directly causing results in your life, then you can choose to keep those beliefs or remove them.

The whole point is it's your choice. You can choose to be offended if that's useful, or you can choose not to be.

Generally speaking, in most non-violent, real world situations, being angry only limits the possible solutions you see to real world problems. Not being angry allows you to see a variety of solutions, and then intelligently choose a solution you think will work to solve a real world situation.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:53 PM
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originally posted by: CharlieSpeirs
a reply to: ScientificRailgun

No I don't.




Otherwise happiness or laughter or sadness or anger are all choices...
These are all common reactions to being offended & can differ depending on the person.


An internal reaction to an external cause...
That's quite simple.


So how does that equate to it being an internal choice?




You're internal reaction to external causes are determined by rules and values.

What has to happen for you to feel loved?
What has to happen for you to feel appreciated?
What has to happen for you to feel respected?

What has to happen for you to feel angry?
What has to happen for you to feel sad?

The idea is to have beliefs (rules) that make it easy to feel good, and hard to feel bad.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:56 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

Of course it is a personal choice... but in our modern world that rejects personal responsibility for anything and encourages scape goating, it is far easier to whine about those big meanies that say bad things to hurt people.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:59 PM
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originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: Jamie1

You ask

Do you believe being offended is a personal choice based on what you choose to believe?


I ask in return, how many of us choose our beliefs in the first place? I make it that most people, most everywhere, hold beliefs that they did not not choose but rather, collected from the time of birth onward with little to no decisions about it. Because you or I seem to have this idea that we choose our beliefs is no reason to suppose that all others or even many others others do too. I think that for most people, taking offense is nothing more than a unconscious reaction in response to whatever belief was insulted.



Great point!!!

You're right. That's exactly why it's so important to be aware that it's your beliefs that cause your reactions and emotional suffering. These are beliefs that have been programmed into you, they're not even your beliefs! They're somebody else's beliefs.

How stupid is it to go around being offended based on beliefs you have that somebody else programmed into you?

You know the killers who took out 12 people in Paris? They weren't born with the beliefs that caused them to be offended by the cartoons. It's not in their DNA.

This is the whole point. The first step is to become aware that it's the beliefs that cause the emotions. Not the external circumstances. It doesn't even require knowing what the specific beliefs are. Just know that it's your beliefs.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:01 PM
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originally posted by: Jamie1
The idea is to have beliefs (rules) that make it easy to feel good, and hard to feel bad.


That's why I'm a hedonist.

en.wikipedia.org...



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:02 PM
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originally posted by: ausername

originally posted by: Jamie1

originally posted by: stargatetravels

originally posted by: CharlieSpeirs
No...


If I make an intentionally offensive statement about Cancer or Rape how can a person choose which emotional response that will invoke?

That's like saying you can choose to find something funny, or upsetting...
Or you can choose what angers you...

If it's a meaningless statement of course it can be a choice...


But your generalisations on the "taking offence" hypothesis I have explained are flawed numerous times.




Exactly right.
That said - the OP has been making some incredibly vile and ignorant posts in most of these threads.
So this thread is probably just more of the same.


Can you please post anything you believe was "incredibly vile and ignorant."

Just one example please?


You chose to be slightly offended.

It was a clever post.


Lol.... no, I wasn't offended at all. I wanted to elicit the rules and values that would make somebody believe a statement was "vile" or "ignorant."



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:03 PM
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originally posted by: Jamie1


The goal is to become in control of one's own life, not allow others to control it.


People are incapable of controlling other human beings, though they can influence to a large degree. This is just semantics, no need to reply to this point.


Your spot in in your thinking. It's exactly what you said about beliefs. If beliefs are useful, there's no reason to remove them.

The key is if you aren't aware of those beliefs, then you have no choice. If you become aware of the beliefs that are directly causing results in your life, then you can choose to keep those beliefs or remove them.


Agreed. It's unfortunate many are not aware of their beliefs which cause them so much suffering.


The whole point is it's your choice. You can choose to be offended if that's useful, or you can choose not to be.


This statement contradicts the last. One can not choose the moment at which they are aware of their belief, and therefore have a choice in the matter. It will happen when they are ready to become aware. We all have quite a depth of unconscious desires, and beliefs. Surely you would agree here?


Generally speaking, in most non-violent, real world situations, being angry only limits the possible solutions you see to real world problems. Not being angry allows you to see a variety of solutions, and then intelligently choose a solution you think will work to solve a real world situation.


It seems you're of the opinion that anger holds no validity or usefulness as a response in a variety of situations. I'd have to disagree.


edit on 8-1-2015 by pl3bscheese because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:07 PM
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originally posted by: Jamie1

originally posted by: ScientificRailgun

originally posted by: Jamie1

originally posted by: ScientificRailgun
We all live in our own brains. Words carry meaning, but not emotion. The emotion is a result of your own brain chemistry. No word, or combination of words can forcibly illicit an emotional response in a person. It's all subjective. That said, there are societal pressures that constantly remind people they SHOULD be offended if someone makes a rape joke, or jew joke, or any other number of crude things. But the joke itself carries no emotion. You determine the feeling you get from someone's word, either consciously or subconsciously.


Interesting. I agree.

Now dig deeper. What are "societal pressures?" Are they beliefs you have about how other people will judge you, or how you'll be valued, based on how you think you're *expected* to respond?
It's partly that, I believe. There's a deeper level still, however, and that is the intent of the speaker. I'm a firm believer that empathy is a real thing. It's a combination of our subconscious ability to determine the emotional state of another person based on their facial expressions, body language, speech patterns, and so forth. Therefore, it's possible to SURMISE, but not know exactly, what emotion a speaker INTENDS to illicit in you which their words. I can speak to you, for instance, in way that would tell you that I 95% intend to offend you. Some people react to that by actually becoming offended, but it is their own internal process that caused the offense. It's a quick succession of "The person wants to offend me, I don't like that. I'll be offended." thoughts, whether conscious or not.

In short, a speaker can convey what emotion they WANT to you respond with, but your response itself is still subjective experience.


Wow.... that's another great distinction. I never thought of it that way. Of course. That's super smart. That's why building rapport is a must. YOUR own state is the most important thing that influences another person's state.

The person more committed to their state will influence the other person.

So if a person says something from a state of hatred, the other person will not just pick up on the words, but on the person's state. They'll resonate states, and the person receiving the statement will also go into anger, a lower level of awareness if you will.

From this place of lower awareness, they'll react, and not be aware of their own thoughts, or how their thoughts are causing them to be upset.

Super smart. Thank you.


Nice interaction on with these posts above. At one point you considered this.


So if a person says something from a state of hatred, the other person will not just pick up on the words, but on the person's state. They'll resonate states, and the person receiving the statement will also go into anger, a lower level of awareness if you will.


Now if I may ask, this "state" that you suggest, do you consider this state to be a condition of the individual, a product of the individual, or might this state be more of a "field" in which different indviduals interact. You offer the idea that they will resonate states, that ones state might "overpower" another persons state. Might it be that these states are not only personally generated but also exist in kind of a Platonic "form or state of being". Let me say this another way. You say they might resonate states. But might it be that they are not resonating states rather they are both in,or out of,the "same" state, or energy field.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:10 PM
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Also a huge factor probably is something like the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Has 16 different personality types, I'm sure some types would correlate more with certain ideas than other types.

But then if that's the case...wonder to an extent what's the point in talking about this topic? Assuming no one here is in middle school, it's pretty set. But 90% of people would continue to do so without this in mind amirite?


I don't mean that negatively or whatever, actually makes the thread interesting, but could sort of be like the Tower of Babel. Language of personalities perhaps.
edit on 1/8/2015 by Turq1 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:11 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

It gives the muslim terrorists an "excuse" to just do what they really WANT to do.

I would say that their acts are a direct result of political correctness forced upon the world by the current group of "offended" apologists.

A person is directly supporting the terrorists by blaming others for their acts.

This person is basically air dropping isis pamphlets-the kind of traitors to the human race that I think our military drones should visit.



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