posted on Jan, 7 2015 @ 01:06 AM
If I'm trapped out in the Sahara or mowing my yard in 110 degree heat, my 12 ounce soda holds about 5 ounces it seems. Today as I was putting some
cans in the fridge I found out that if that can hits the floor and explodes... It contains about a bajillion ounces above and beyond the 12 stated on
the label. I saw it happening. It was akin to a sugar coated Apocolypse.
Do I try to grab the can and move it, thus chancing the spray spreading even further for a chance of minimizing the spray field? Do I just stand there
and let it spray all over me and everything else? I was helpless and opted for option 2. I'll never know if option 1 would have been the better
choice. It certainly couldn't have been worse.
My kitchen looked like Willy Wonka threw up all over my walls, floor, in the refrigerator, ceiling, oven, hutch, etc. Where in holy hades did all the
freaking soda come from? It was like a never ending well. It was as if the fates were using me in their own sick version of funniest home videos. For
hours I mopped... Still sticky. I washed off... Still sticky. I let soak... Still freaking sticky damn it. It was Groundhog Day all over again, and
again, and again.
Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. I'm sure that I will be running into sticky spots for the next 6 months when I least expect it. It would have been
easier just to set the whole kitchen on fire and rebuild.
The dog? The one that begs the entire time I am cooking? The one that I trip over when trying to get stuff out of the oven? Absolutely no help at all.
He stayed under his electric blanket and didn't even show up to see if I might need help. Dirty traitor.
My daughter? The one who begs the entire time I am cooking? The one that I trip over when trying to get stuff out of the oven? Absolutely no help at
all. It was the first time in 17 years that she didn't need to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes... She knew. She avoided walking through there like
the Black Plague.
The whole thing was nuts. I'm sure there was a cloud of colorful metaphors floating like fog over my house. There was absolutely enough soda in that
can to fill three bathtubs. I don't know how they did it...
edit on 1/7/2015 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)