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I Lost My Friend And All I Have To Offer Is These Stupid Words...

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posted on Jan, 4 2015 @ 11:27 PM
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You have a wonderful heart, I'm sorry it's hurting.

Would it help to share any stories about him?




posted on Jan, 4 2015 @ 11:34 PM
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Losing a friend is always hard. I have lost quite a few friends already, and my sister too. I suppose someday someone will be saying that about me.



posted on Jan, 4 2015 @ 11:53 PM
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a reply to: Domo1

That is a phenomenal idea - but one that I'm going to have to begin structuring in the morning. I've taken my night medication and the fact that I can still type cogent sentences, according to the Physicians Desk Reference, should be impossible. LOL



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 12:35 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide

I hope you do share some stories. It seems to help, and it's always nice to honor someone's memory and share how amazing they were. We know and appreciate you, so by default any friend of yours must be pretty freaking awesome, and I'm betting most people here would say a friend of yours was a friend of theirs.

Another poster suggested that you go out and do the same. My bet is that you already have, and that you touched his life (and others) in a very meaningful way, and you were both equally blessed to have known each other.



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 12:56 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide

I am sorry for your loss. It is hard loosing those we love. I pray for your strength.



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 01:25 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide


I don't know if it makes sense or not, but knowing that he died in his sleep, smiling ( I guess dreaming good things ) without suffering or in pain helps a lot.


My deepest sympathies Heff

It may not seem like much, but to know he died peacefully in his sleep is a blessing in disguise

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your third friend
Brother's to the end....

He may not be with you physically but his memories will live on forever

May he rest in peace


Take care of yourself~
snarky

((((hug))))



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 02:46 AM
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Sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a loved one is always hard. The thing to do is keep him alive in your memories and find a way to keep on going. Keep on keeping on, in other words.

For you and your friend:




posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 07:43 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide


My heart goes out to you.



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 07:53 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide




These people aren't dying because they're weak or stupid or lazy. They are being killed by poverty and the woes that follow along.


Heartrendingly true. I am so sorry for your loss. Soldier on John.



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 07:55 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide

And may he rest in peace.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss Heff. If even half of what you say about this gentleman was accurate, then he must have been a hell of a fellow, and we need more of those around, on this crazy planet, not less.



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 08:23 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide

So sorry for the loss of your friend Heff. I am sure it is truly painful for you to have to deal with,after dealing with so much already. May you have peace and comfort this new year,and have your life soar to new heights for you. May your friend be finally at peace with love surrounding him.



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 08:24 AM
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sincere condolences, losing someone is never easy. I feel for you.



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 10:00 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide

I am suffering inconsolably myself.. .and it's coming up on 6 years. My best friend, brother musical partner composer...took care of him with cancer.. .traumatic for me now.. .am really lost.. .the story is long and hard.. .life and kids rock show and recording history.. .too much and hard for me here.. .I will get comfortable and later send you a pm.. ..you can repost it in-thread or not as you choose.

Great thread Heff. ..thanks. ...later. MS



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 11:20 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide

I feel your loss John and send my deepest sympathies to you and those who cared for Chris.

Stay strong.
RiP Chris.


edit on 5-1-2015 by gortex because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 05:17 PM
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Heff,

I've read you for years and this is my first reply.....
I, personally, know what you are going through....
I am in Atlanta as well if you ever want to try and get together.
You are more than welcome to come and hang out a while....
We could undoubtedly chat for hours.......

happy new year and peace......



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 08:19 PM
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If it gets too bad, you might try grief counseling. I'm not sure how much it would help but it's worth a try. Stay strong.



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 08:30 PM
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a reply to: Skid Mark

As far as death goes, I come from a very large family on both the maternal and paternal sides. My parents were also both the youngest siblings of their brood. My father had six siblings, my mother had twelve. Add that to the fact that I grew up in a poor neighborhood and, well, sad as it is to say, I honestly cannot tell you how many funerals I have attended. If it's one it's a hundred.

Death and I are old friends.

I think my pain is coming from something I have not said in this thread or anywhere else. I got out of the group home and the only time or reason I contacted anyone there, after leaving, was to get my money situation changed ( the group home was listed as my "representative payee" and it took me two months to get that fixed ). I never called or messaged anyone for any reason other than that. And, even though I did always say "Tell Chris and ____ ( the third person ) that I said 'Hi' and that I love them" during those conversations... I never made any effort to actually call and talk to Chris or the other person.

As I said, the two of them had more in common - they were both country boys - and I kind of walked away assuming they had each other and that they'd be fine without me.

Last night, on the phone, I found out just how selfish and wrong I was. The third person is a total wreck emotionally and his reaching out to me was as much about telling me Chris was gone as it was a cry for help.

This time I am not ignoring it. I intend to invite the third person to visit as often as he wishes.

If any of that makes sense. I got self-absorbed in my "new" life and left behind a great person. Now I can never tell him just how great I thought he was.



posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 08:36 PM
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a reply to: Hefficide

It makes perfect sense. I'm ashamed to say I had a similar circumstance. I was friends with a guy at work. He wanted me to help him write a book. I kept putting it off, until one day he didn't come in. He'd had a heart attack and died. I felt horrible that I'd never taken the time to come over and help him out.
As for the 2nd friend: it's good that you're reconnecting with him if he's that bad off. You might be able to help.



posted on Jan, 6 2015 @ 01:51 AM
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One of the things about myself that I tend to forget is that my PTSD effects the way I react emotionally. I know I've posted several times on ATS, in trying to describe it, that I'm the type of person who doesn't feel an ounce of fear during a crisis - I'm the one running into the flames to help others get out. But hours later, when everyone else has gone through their fear and calmed back down, suddenly it all hits me, like a brick.

Last night, when I posted this, the intellectual pain was there but, in a way, the crisis was still raging. My emotions hadn't really reacted yet. Today they have - in an avalanche.

I don't even recall if I've mentioned it in this thread, but during the phone conversation with the third friend, he informed me that yet another person at the group home had died just a day or two ago - another guy who I admired and liked. That is eating at me as well. Robert was his name and he also was a stand-up guy. One Hell of a good man.

There's an Offspring song about a street that seemed cursed, I cannot recall the name. But that is what is dancing around in my mind right now - the idea that the place we all shared was somehow cursed. So many deaths in such a short time. My rational brain kicks in and reminds me that shelters ( and this was a glorified shelter really ) don't exactly attract the most healthy of people and that many there were probably doomed before they reached the doors due to past health issues or a life of abusing chemicals.

Still... the guilt that the place was a blessing in my world, and the end of so many others? That's hard to reconcile.



posted on Jan, 6 2015 @ 02:10 AM
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a reply to: Hefficide

Get help if it eats at you too much. Talk to someone. Anything. Grief is normal. Just don't let it eat you until there's nothing left. Remember all the things that you have to live for.

On a side note: The song you mentioned sounds familiar but I have no idea what it is.







 
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