posted on Jan, 5 2015 @ 08:30 PM
a reply to: Skid Mark
As far as death goes, I come from a very large family on both the maternal and paternal sides. My parents were also both the youngest siblings of
their brood. My father had six siblings, my mother had twelve. Add that to the fact that I grew up in a poor neighborhood and, well, sad as it is to
say, I honestly cannot tell you how many funerals I have attended. If it's one it's a hundred.
Death and I are old friends.
I think my pain is coming from something I have not said in this thread or anywhere else. I got out of the group home and the only
reason I contacted anyone there, after leaving, was to get my money situation changed ( the group home was listed as my "representative payee" and
it took me two months to get that fixed ). I never called or messaged anyone for any reason other than that. And, even though I did always say "Tell
Chris and ____ ( the third person ) that I said 'Hi' and that I love them" during those conversations... I never made any effort to actually call
and talk to Chris or the other person.
As I said, the two of them had more in common - they were both country boys - and I kind of walked away assuming they had each other and that they'd
be fine without me.
Last night, on the phone, I found out just how selfish and wrong I was. The third person is a total wreck emotionally and his reaching out to me was
as much about telling me Chris was gone as it was a cry for help.
This time I am not ignoring it. I intend to invite the third person to visit as often as he wishes.
If any of that makes sense. I got self-absorbed in my "new" life and left behind a great person. Now I can never tell him just how great I thought