I have been reading these post for a few days and want to clear up any misunderstanding some might have about my families situation. I want to thank
everyone for their feedback regardless if its negative or positive, everyone has a right to their opinion and I respect that. Let me try and clear up
a few things:
1. Why have children if you can't afford them?
I think that is a valid point, however we only planned to have one child and see how it went, however we were blessed with twins and of course that
doubled our cost on everything from daycare, diapers etc. We could of easily made it with one child however, double th cost of daycare and medical co
pays for their first six months of life was a huge expense we couldn't cover given our bills at the time.
2. Who spends 800 a month on food?
I would agree that would be a bit much for food, however the 800 also included personal items like diapers, cleaning supplies, hygen products (anyone
seen the cost of toliet paper?), my wife couldn't produce breast milk so we had to buy a lot of formula and that gets very expensive.
3. How did you get section 8 so quick?
In our area you get priority housing if you have children under the age of 5. Having two children under 5 allowed us to move to the front of the line.
They give out vouchers and you can perrty much live where you want and that is how we were able to stay in the same house because the landlord agreed
to the terms. Getting our rent reduced from $1,200 down to $10 was a huge relief.
4. How are you able to get your student loan payments down to zero?
All our loans are Federal Stafford Loans and have several programs to help those who can't afford payments. We used the IRB (Income Based Repayment)
plan. If you fall under the poverty rate for a family of four you pay zero. That was a huge lions share when it came to subsidies. Going from 1600 a
month in student loan payments to zero helped us huge.
5. What about the children? What will they learn from this? What about retirement who will take care of you when you are old? What about college, we
going to pay that too?
All of these are valid statements. In my orginal post our plan was only to use these programs until the children get to school age at the latest which
is 3 years. However, my wife and I are looking for work that would compensate us more then what we previously made with more favorable health
insurance rates and hours. If we can find that then we will return to our professions with a sense of security. As for the children and what thye will
learn, they are currently two years old and when they turn five we will be back in our professions and the majority of their childhood memories will
be of mommy and daddy working hard at their careers paying their own way. You have to understand we cut anything and everything we could to make ends
meet, we had nothing left to cut other then our hours and salary to qualify for relief.
6. Why did you do this? Do you have no shame? No respect?
I completely understand the negative statements, however let me attempt to give you some understanding as to why and how I could rationalize such an
action. First let me say that experinces of parents today are much different then that of the previous generation. The parents of the pervious
generation had access to affordable healthcare, affordable childcare and affordable higher education. I, in no way contributed to the corruption that
resulted in healthcare, childcare and higher education to be so over inflated that any family attempting to bear these responsibilities especially all
at the same time would be quite near impossible, espcially for the average middle class family. Thank about it, student loans $1,600, daycare $1,600
and health insurance $1,400 not to metion the $30 co-pays and $1,500 annual deductable and having two infant children we had to go in every few months
for vacinations and routine checkups. Just those three combined is $4,600 a month alone. My parents generation and my grand parenets generation never
had these kind of numbers to pay for childcare, healthcare and higher education. Look I understand that many of you were able to make it when you went
through this processes and it was a real struggle, yet the numbers didn't add up we didn't have the money and had nothing left to cut. If we continued
down this road we would of ended up in the same boat we are currently in, we just took a proactive approach. Our student loans will not be forgiven
entirely for we are only using the IRB for three years max on our 25 year term loan so we will play plent plus interest which will be way more then we
borrowed at a 6.8% annual percentage rate.
In terms of our children, I truely believe that most important development years of a childs life is their first 5 years. Our children spent so much
time in daycare that we felt their development would suffer as a result. Since we cut our hours and spend more time with our children they have
shattered many development milestones and are well on their way to solid foundation that will allow them to be successful when they enter school. We
teach them proper manners, to respect elders, adults and teachers, as well as educational basics such as colors, letters, numbers and fine and gross
motor skills and insure that they get the emotional support and love they need. Many adults today had a stay at home mother during their
infant/toddler years. We are not bad people for doing the same for our children. A great book by Elizabeth Warren talks about this very issue called
the "Two Income Trap" how two working parents have less then a single working parent of the last
If you are an avid reader like myself
you will see many stories in the news articles about people refusing a dollar an hour increase in pay because it would take away various subsidies
that is worth more then that dollar extra an hour. Its a shame that it has come down to this and there is no sliding scale when it comes to support
for working families, its all or nothing and this had lead families to take drastic measures that to many wouldn't seem logical until they looked at
the numbers and know the programs.
There is so much misinformation out there in regards to reality that many only know their own little world and their own experince and then what they
percieve as a reality outside their own personal world is minipulated by the media and television. Yes, I am a true story and under the right
circumstance you can live a middle class life on welfare, those who are single, vertans and diabled get the shaft under current policy and guidelines
of welfare, however if you have children you will get anything and everything that welfare programs have to offer. That is why you see so many in
poverty pump out kids because it improves their standard of living. Trust me we are not using welfare as a retirement plan, we are using it to
overcome the inflated cost of healthcare, daycare and higher education for a temporary time in our life until we are able to afford it, which won't be
long for when our children hit school age that alone would save us a current cost 1600 a month. I will be happy to answer others questions and provide
references and links to more detailed information on to how this kind of thing happens and why. To those who are really upset with me, please don't
take it personal...its just business....just kidding, just kidding LOL. I thank you for your feedback
Edit: To those who are curious as to what my major was in college and why I don't make 160k a year and why my spelling and grammar suck. My undergrad
is in Biology my masters is in Kinesiology. I worked for a firm that designed exercise equipment, we basically ran experiments trying to find
movements that would produce the maximum amount of muscle motor recruitment while minimizing stress on joints on various parts of the body depending
the exercise (aerobic and anarobic). The reason my spelling and grammar sucks so much with someone with a masters degree is because most of my classes
were science based and I spent little time mastering my writing skills. I was the microsoft word generation and professors no longer read papers and
basically have grad assistants (I was one once) that had no better ability in grammar and spelling then myself and I'm a product of public education
that did a poor job perparing me in areas such as writing. I'm not afraid to admit it and I'm taking steps to improve it. Everything I have written
thus far hasn't been run through word and trying to type fast I have made a mistake here and there, please forgive me
edit on 3-1-2015 by
PaladinRoden because: (no reason given)