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'Fix Society': Transgender Teen Posted Plea Before Suicide

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posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 02:19 PM
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originally posted by: Stormdancer777
a reply to: Jamie1




Giving love unconditionally instead of walking in front of a truck is the direct reflection of the individual's thoughts, not their external world.


I enjoy your post, but everyone is different, you can't get inside anothers head and predict what they are going to do, if they are so mentally unstable then all the talk or reasoning in the world wont stop them.



For sure. That's the whole point. You've GOT IT.

No you can't get inside somebody's head. But what you've nailed is the reality of the situation was caused by what was in her head, her thoughts, and the meanings she gave to her external circumstances.




posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 02:23 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1




It's only your belief and perception that what I'm saying is any sort of admonishment, or that it's wasted.


True enough



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 02:29 PM
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And we can look at this another way.

This unhappy transgender teen, who felt there was no future for her, may have just saved hundreds of other transgender teens.

Perspective.



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 02:36 PM
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originally posted by: Stormdancer777
a reply to: Jamie1

How does one control their own happiness regardless of their circumstances?

I know it is possible and have been their when I was very spiritually in tune.

I have tried reasoning with people who are self destructive, and there is no one home, they are sometime so far gone.

They really don't want to die, they really don't want to hurt anyone,



Great question....

When somebody is self-destructive and so far gone, you're right - they seem so far gone.

What to focus on then is their emotional state is in large part being influenced by their physiology in the moment. You need to get them to change their physiology. It's what's called interrupting their pattern.

Simplest way to do that is ask them to move, go for a walk, drink a glass of water... anything that will interrupt their physiology in that moment.

Next, it begins with asking them questions, not telling them anything. This will help you elicit their beliefs. You'll be able to pinpoint the exact primary thoughts that are causing their emotional suffering.

Now here's a key step:

Keep track of what thoughts they have that are factual, and what thoughts are beliefs. You'll need this later.

For example, in working with a woman at a heroin clinic, the fact was her father hit her. Her story was her father didn't love her.

Here's the next KEY point:

Frame all the discussions around identifying what are facts, and what are stories. Do NOT get into discussions about the truth of validity of the stories. Just identify that it IS a belief, or a story.

Example: Woman said her father didn't love her. Do NOT tell her that he did. Get her to see that her statement is just a belief. It might even be formed based on facts. The reality is that she has no way of knowing another person's emotions, and that concluding her father didn't love her was just her belief.

This is the hardest part. Just getting people to realize there are only two things, facts and beliefs, is the biggest hurdle.

Use examples. How can one person be happy and another depressed in the same situation? It can't be the situation. It can only be their thoughts about the situation.

Once somebody realizes that their thoughts and beliefs they've carried with them for sometimes decades are what's causing their emotional pain, and not the event itself, then they'll have an "aha" moment. The event is long over. The memory, and the meaning of the event is what lasts. Those are all thoughts.

And we can observe those thoughts. We are not our thoughts. If we were, we wouldn't be able to observe them.

Next, find out what the person wants, and what THEY can do to even make the tiniest progress towards what they want. Ask them what it's going to cost them if the don't change.

Control their focus with questions.

Most of all, be present. Be in a total state of unconditional love and compassion, not sympathy. They will feel your love and acceptance, and trust you enough to dare to move forward.

The only reason they're in the self-destructive pattern in the first place is because it's how they've adapted to feel important and loved. Let them feel loved WITHOUT them being in this pattern. They need to discover themselves, not be told, that they can be loved unconditionally without running the self-destruct pattern that gives them temporary certainty and importance.

Look at the girl who walked in front of the truck. She chose to do that because she wanted her life to matter.

That's how I do it. Again, it all starts with your own emotional state, and your own beliefs. Put yourself into a state of unconditional love. Have faith. If you pray, pray for the faith that you CAN be happy no matter what your external circumstances.



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 02:39 PM
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originally posted by: Annee
And we can look at this another way.

This unhappy transgender teen, who felt there was no future for her, may have just saved hundreds of other transgender teens.

Perspective.


YES!

She may have saved thousands or millions. And not just transgendered teens. Anybody reading about her might be affected, as a parent, as a brother or sister, as a friend.

Everything happens for a reason, and we get to decide the reason.



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 02:56 PM
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a reply to: Spiramirabilis

Ihave to respectfully disagree.

Just tinkering with hormones alone can cause drastic side effects.

I have seen simple HRT for menapause give some nasty side effects.

Everyone biochemistry is slightly diffrent and even when trying to do good we can end up messing it up more.



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 03:07 PM
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a reply to: crazyewok

Everything you just said makes the argument for why this is natural, biological - and not fantasy

All the more reason to treat it as such, removing the stigma and allowing people to live their lives without judgement

Imagine how much freer people would be if they were simply allowed to live their lives and not have to pretend to be something they don't actually feel inside

There would be fewer suicides - I'm reasonably certain


Everyone biochemistry is slightly diffrent and even when trying to do good we can end up messing it up more.


I agree with this. I think the medical choices a transgender person might wish to make should be up to them. What I'm suggesting is that we work on making this world more tolerant in general so that people who are transgender can make these choices - or not - without succumbing to the kinds of pressure and stresses that destroy their ability to cope and think rationally - especially when they're just kids or young adults



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 03:14 PM
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a reply to: Spiramirabilis

The problem is from a medical standpoint is the choice they make can cause irreversible damage.

If after years of hormone therapy they change there mind, and many do, they can be stuck in a limbo state with messed up hormones.


It why most doctors who deal in this area make patients go through rigeros phyc evalutions.

The wrong choice can and will destroy there bodys and minds,

The world can be as accepting as possible but if someone goes down this route and halfway they decide its not for them or a complication arises (IE bad side effects) they could be stuck in a messed up situation.

Changeing sex is not like changing shoes.
edit on 1-1-2015 by crazyewok because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 03:26 PM
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a reply to: crazyewok


The wrong choice can and will destroy there bodys and minds,

The world can be as accepting as possible but if someone goes down this route and halfway they decide its not for them or a complication arises (IE bad side effects) they could be stuck in a messed up situation.

Changeing sex is not like changing shoes.


I was agreeing with you Crazy :-)

I will still stubbornly cling to my position: being born this way is natural. We need to teach people this - and reinforce this knowledge over and over so that these young people can grow up in an accepting environment and be allowed to thrive exactly as they are. They might (though I admit I can't know this for sure) choose medical options less and less if they didn't feel the need to make their body match their mind and sense of self. Is it harder to pretend to be something that you're not to fit in - or is it harder to change what you are so fewer people question any or all of that?

Maybe most will choose medical reassignment anyway - that should be their right

Either way - it will be less harmful all the way around. The more we learn, the more we grow, and then - the more we learn...



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 03:27 PM
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a reply to: crazyewok

true that, and people will tell you things are great when they are not, I do it all the time,


edit on 043131p://bThursday2015 by Stormdancer777 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 03:28 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

I need to read this a few more times





posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 03:29 PM
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originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Stormdancer777

originally posted by: Annee
a reply to: Stormdancer777

Have you read the Casey Johnson story?

Heiress of Johnson & Johnson, who died of complications of diabetes. She also was diagnosed with a personality disorder. She wouldn't take care of herself.

nypost.com...


thanks annee, i might read it if i get brave enough


Yeah, I purposely didn't post details. Sending you and family positive energy.



thanks annee



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 03:33 PM
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originally posted by: Jamie1

Everything happens for a reason, and we get to decide the reason.


"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans", Allen Saunders.

I will agree that everything happens for a reason. Maybe not in the same thinking as you.

Choices we make are countered by the choices others make ---- plus many things we have no control over.

Then of course we have to re-think and make choices due to altered circumstance (chain of events).

Teens live in a very small world. Making choices outside that small world doesn't compute, in most cases. From what I've read over the years, behavior of teens is physiological brain chemicals. Teens behave the way they do for a reason. They do not think the same as an adult.

Logic & Teen are like oil and water. I'm on my third generation now with my 14 year old granddaughter. It's mind boggling.

We're never going to agree with your way of thinking --- because of her age.





edit on 1-1-2015 by Annee because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 03:37 PM
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originally posted by: crazyewok
a reply to: Spiramirabilis

The problem is from a medical standpoint is the choice they make can cause irreversible damage.

If after years of hormone therapy they change there mind, and many do, they can be stuck in a limbo state with messed up hormones.



So far, studies have shown hormone blockers have no lasting effect.

Once one stops taking them the body reverts.



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 04:16 PM
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lifted from another forum

youtu.be...



I slammed my bedroom door on the one person that believed in me,


edit on 043131p://bThursday2015 by Stormdancer777 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 05:13 PM
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originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Jamie1

Everything happens for a reason, and we get to decide the reason.


"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans", Allen Saunders.

I will agree that everything happens for a reason. Maybe not in the same thinking as you.

Choices we make are countered by the choices others make ---- plus many things we have no control over.

Then of course we have to re-think and make choices due to altered circumstance (chain of events).

Teens live in a very small world. Making choices outside that small world doesn't compute, in most cases. From what I've read over the years, behavior of teens is physiological brain chemicals. Teens behave the way they do for a reason. They do not think the same as an adult.

Logic & Teen are like oil and water. I'm on my third generation now with my 14 year old granddaughter. It's mind boggling.

We're never going to agree with your way of thinking --- because of her age.



I will respectfully disagree with you based on my own experience.

One of my best friends had a situation in which his 13-year old daughter came home from school, crying about being bullied.

He tried calling the school, and the other kid's parents. They told him that his daughter needed to suck it up and learn to deal with the bully.

She didn't want to go back to school.

Then he sat her down and described the exact things I'm sharing here.

There are only two things, stories and facts. What are the facts of the situation?

Fact was the bully called her ugly. Twice. And laughed at her. Other girls laughed too.

Everything else was the story, the meaning, my friend's daughter gave to the situation.

"I hate school. I'm ugly. I'm going to get picked on every day."

You get the idea.

All of those are stories, not facts.

Being stuck in these stories put her in a state of fear, sadness, depression, anxiety, whatever you want to label it.

When she realized these were stories, and not facts, she took a deep breath and suddenly went into a more rational, calm state.

My friend asked her, "What can you do tomorrow at school to have fun and enjoy being at school?"

His daughter, now in the better state, answered immediately, "I can ignore her. I can laugh too when she says things about me. I could tell her she looks nice before she says anything to me."

The next day she went to school, had fun, and even hung out with her tormentor from the day before.

Stubbornly holding onto a belief system that teenage girls somehow don't have the ability to be rational and solve problems is doing them a huge disservice. They do. So do adults.

It's the exact same process.

There are facts and there are meanings you give to the facts.

The facts don't cause emotional suffering. The meaning, your thoughts about the facts cause the emotional upset.

Once you realize that your thoughts are causing your emotional state, your state lessens and rational, problem solving thinking can take over.

I've seen teenage girls USE this to help a 6 year old boy crying over not getting a piece of candy. It works. It's not magic or theory. It's common sense.

Again, if you can find one example where a lingering emotional upset is not caused by the meaning somebody gives to a situation, I'd love to hear it.



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 07:10 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

All I can say, once again is, Life is not a textbook.

All your posts, no matter the subject are the same. As if they come out of a black and white textbook.

I understand your points perfectly. But, real life just doesn't function like a textbook.




edit on 1-1-2015 by Annee because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 07:31 PM
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a reply to: Jamie1

Yes, we all have choices. We all can choose not to perceive something a certain way, to not take it personally, to not get caught up in the "story" we tell ourselves about the physical facts. The examples you have given about coaching/counseling women, girls about how they perceive and attach meaning to horrible events (rape, incest, bullying, whatever) is great.

The only thing that is different here in this real life flesh and blood, life and death case is that she (or he if you choose) did not have the benefit of such a wise and clinical sage such as yourself. In fact, it seems she did not have anyone who could help her see logically that her depression, lack of hope, feelings of oppression -- whatever -- could be viewed as choices.

It's like Victor Frankl (spelling?) and the choices in thinking and reacting to being in a concentration camp. I get it. I think most of us here after all these posts, get it. But this young teen did not have the benefit of counseling or an adult mind of her own, or a mom or dad who could help her see the truth about choices.

So you can say all you want about choices. If a child of 5 years old is depressed and says, Momma, I need to go walk in front of a truck and die so I can go be with daddy in heaven -- which is literally exactly what my child said to me the day of his dad's funeral - at age 5 -- he doesn't have the capacity to understand how to not perceive the situation differently. A child of 5 lives in the moment, lives in an emotional whirlwind - and isn't going to be able to rationally think through the ramifications of such "stories."

I know 40 year olds who are lost in their stories. They never learned anything different. Is it there fault they were never exposed to that kind of thinking? I fall into my own stories sometimes. We're not machines, we're not perfect, and sometimes a helping hand and person outside of the story is what is needed. Joshua/Leelah didn't seem to have that person. Not her fault, is it? Compassion, empowerment, kindness and clear thinking -- all would have been helpful.


edit on 1-1-2015 by Galadriel because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 07:59 PM
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Just a good article:

Op-ed: We Need to Protect Our Trans Children
In the wake of trans teen Leelah Alcorn's suicide, a trans advocate calls for adults to actively show trans youth they are accepted at home and beyond.

www.advocate.com...



posted on Jan, 1 2015 @ 08:11 PM
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Joshua did not commit suicide.
He chose to force someone else to take his life.
A trucker who will always feel horrible knowing they killed somebody, altering their life permanently.
There are a myriad of ways to kill oneself that don't involve a second person.
This was the act of a thoughtless coward too caught up in themselves to consider how others would be affected.

Where is my compassion you ask?
It's with the truck driver who is the true victim in this story.
They have to live on, wondering if they could have avoided it, seeing his mangled body over and over when trying to go to sleep.

No, I'm not going to pity transgender kids.
There's nothing wrong with them except for possibly a case of denying physical reality.
The media is trying to push one more group for protected status as victims in our society.
The purpose being the rationale to intervene and control everything because everyone is now at risk.
Big brother must protect us not only from the big, bad outside world full of terrorists but must protect us from ourselves and each other.
edit on 1-1-2015 by Asktheanimals because: (no reason given)



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