Cut it out with the hate! (and all other stupid stuff)

It really saddens me to read and watch all this gender hate on ATS and in other places. It's not bringing you anything or anywhere.

By prejudging people based on their gender you deny yourself a part of your humanity imo and are not doing yourself any favour.

If anything, you spread more negativity and division in a world that's in dire need of some personal and emotional growth, love and the ability to see someone else for what he or she is, not what you project onto them.

I honestly think that this whole new gender bias movement is harming the individual that adheres to these 'philosophies'. Going your own way? Fine! Pleading for male (human) rights where they deserve it? Fine! But why does everything need to be drowned in a large swamp of misogyny and contempt? At that point it's no longer just about you and your own choices, thoughts and feelings but you create a new 'enemy', and these movements have bizarre ways of interacting with these self-created 'enemies'. It's a weird mixture of deep contempt, the idea that all of them are as dumb as a rock or somehow steal your sperm so that they can have kids after which the female conspiracy, who's always out there to get you, gets your money. Oh, and if you want to have sex, leave all normal, mature and human interaction aside and start with your strange manipulation, groping and bullying tricks to somehow hypnotise her into bed. But nothing more! 'Cause women are so manipulative!!

How can you be so blind! I have bad experiences with some men and saw bad things happen at the hands of men but same with women and I don't even like to speak of ''men'' or ''women'' in this context because it's obvious that there is no homogenous group of ''men'' who are all the same! The individuality and differences are so obvious that it's a total mystery to me how you can miss that. And when you grow blind to that, again, I think you're damaging yourself. Interaction with other people, regardless of their gender, is eventually a part of us and what we are. You're then denying yourself better opportunities and are cutting out a major part of yourself. I interact with men of course and if I'd start harbouring all these hateful ideas I'd be cutting out a part of myself that's been 'shaped' or gets shaped by the interaction with others, large part of them being men (or women, for that matter). And when you turn blind to individuality you are obscuring your own clear vision of the world, and no self-righteous ''but now I get it! Won't fall for those witches again!'' changes that. It implies an inherent conflict.

The world needs clarity. We don't need more division and distortion.

And it's not just men with bad experiences in marriage or something. Often these are young dudes who never even gave relationships or marriage an honest shot. I'm speaking of a lot of guys who're younger than 30-25-ish.

Expectations become unrealistic perhaps also when the individual upon which they are projected are unrealistic to expect from said individual. Looking at what many of these new misogyny dudes say and what they do even a remotely healthy relationship is unrealistic. Not exaggerating here. It's not addressing fear correctly. You fear something, but instead of recognising ''hey, I fear X or Y. This is something within me and not the fault of X or Y'' it's ''X or Y is dangerous and mean and I should shun and hate it''. Not recognising your own feelings and not recognising where they come from.

I don't like certain developments in society and this new misogyny is a part of it. Young people in my environment are docile, spoiled and never think beyond sushi, that person's really ugly dress or the latest development in that soap opera. (this is a rant, so bear with me! ) Both sides have unrealistic expectations about themselves, relationships and other things. One guy became an MGTOW not because the women in his life were horrible witches but because he literally ruined it himself by all the un-human expectations of a sugar-coated fairy world. Yes, that sets you up for failure and disappointment but at the same time he lacks the insight that it was he disappointing HIMSELF and not just the general evilness of the ladies.

People are obscuring their own vision! All this hate... Also, there're so many decent people out there and it's really not fair to project bad intentions on them. I've been in plenty occasions where exactly that happened, where they just assumed right away that I was some kind of evil/manipulative/otherwise undesirable person and they even twisted my words. It became a situation where you just couldn't win. Well, especially when I was a child and dependent upon others that was slightly hellish. Now that I'm a grown-up it still really sucks. But leave that aside: these people who did that obscured their own vision. They put on the projection and word-twist glasses and blinded themselves from reality. They also did so because they desired an outlet and wanted to make me feel like crap, but it was also that these fools deliberately blurred their own view.

I'm not going to pour mouthwash into my eyes either, so that I see less clearly! >_<

We need to improve as a society, as humanity, we need to work together and unite,build meaningful interactions be it marriage or otherwise, not hate or fight each other based on gender. We can do so much better!

Yet, I see all these movements growing....

originally posted by: Pitou
It really saddens me to read and watch all this gender hate on ATS and in other places. It's not bringing you anything or anywhere.

By prejudging people based on their gender you deny yourself a part of your humanity imo and are not doing yourself any favour.

If anything, you spread more negativity and division in a world that's in dire need of some personal and emotional growth, love and the ability to see someone else for what he or she is, not what you project onto them.

I honestly think that this whole new gender bias movement is harming the individual that adheres to these 'philosophies'. Going your own way? Fine! Pleading for male (human) rights where they deserve it? Fine! But why does everything need to be drowned in a large swamp of misogyny and contempt? At that point it's no longer just about you and your own choices, thoughts and feelings but you create a new 'enemy', and these movements have bizarre ways of interacting with these self-created 'enemies'. It's a weird mixture of deep contempt, the idea that all of them are as dumb as a rock or somehow steal your sperm so that they can have kids after which the female conspiracy, who's always out there to get you, gets your money. Oh, and if you want to have sex, leave all normal, mature and human interaction aside and start with your strange manipulation, groping and bullying tricks to somehow hypnotise her into bed. But nothing more! 'Cause women are so manipulative!!

How can you be so blind! I have bad experiences with some men and saw bad things happen at the hands of men but same with women and I don't even like to speak of ''men'' or ''women'' in this context because it's obvious that there is no homogenous group of ''men'' who are all the same! The individuality and differences are so obvious that it's a total mystery to me how you can miss that. And when you grow blind to that, again, I think you're damaging yourself. Interaction with other people, regardless of their gender, is eventually a part of us and what we are. You're then denying yourself better opportunities and are cutting out a major part of yourself. I interact with men of course and if I'd start harbouring all these hateful ideas I'd be cutting out a part of myself that's been 'shaped' or gets shaped by the interaction with others, large part of them being men (or women, for that matter). And when you turn blind to individuality you are obscuring your own clear vision of the world, and no self-righteous ''but now I get it! Won't fall for those witches again!'' changes that. It implies an inherent conflict.

The world needs clarity. We don't need more division and distortion.

And it's not just men with bad experiences in marriage or something. Often these are young dudes who never even gave relationships or marriage an honest shot. I'm speaking of a lot of guys who're younger than 30-25-ish.

Expectations become unrealistic perhaps also when the individual upon which they are projected are unrealistic to expect from said individual. Looking at what many of these new misogyny dudes say and what they do even a remotely healthy relationship is unrealistic. Not exaggerating here. It's not addressing fear correctly. You fear something, but instead of recognising ''hey, I fear X or Y. This is something within me and not the fault of X or Y'' it's ''X or Y is dangerous and mean and I should shun and hate it''. Not recognising your own feelings and not recognising where they come from.

I don't like certain developments in society and this new misogyny is a part of it. Young people in my environment are docile, spoiled and never think beyond sushi, that person's really ugly dress or the latest development in that soap opera. (this is a rant, so bear with me!

) Both sides have unrealistic expectations about themselves, relationships and other things. One guy became an MGTOW not because the women in his life were horrible witches but because he literally ruined it himself by all the un-human expectations of a sugar-coated fairy world. Yes, that sets you up for failure and disappointment but at the same time he lacks the insight that it was he disappointing HIMSELF and not just the general evilness of the ladies.

People are obscuring their own vision! All this hate...

Also, there're so many decent people out there and it's really not fair to project bad intentions on them. I've been in plenty occasions where exactly that happened, where they just assumed right away that I was some kind of evil/manipulative/otherwise undesirable person and they even twisted my words. It became a situation where you just couldn't win. Well, especially when I was a child and dependent upon others that was slightly hellish. Now that I'm a grown-up it still really sucks. But leave that aside: these people who did that obscured their own vision. They put on the projection and word-twist glasses and blinded themselves from reality. They also did so because they desired an outlet and wanted to make me feel like crap, but it was also that these fools deliberately blurred their own view.

I'm not going to pour mouthwash into my eyes either, so that I see less clearly! >_<

We need to improve as a society, as humanity, we need to work together and unite,build meaningful interactions be it marriage or otherwise, not hate or fight each other based on gender. We can do so much better!

Yet, I see all these movements growing....

One of the reasons why I have tiddled off from here.... (This post snipped or 404ed for freedom of speech reasons or whatever... now that ATS site needs money... but saved somewhere else and will also be posted ...)

To the moderator who edits/Bans this post : BRAVO... And thank you for having an open mind...

Kindest respects and tons of seasons greetings...

Kindest respects

Rodinus

I cannot read the whole thing as I am at work but I get your jist and whole heartedly agree with you. This whole gender conflict thing is getting wayyyyy out of hand and is only getting worse. One of my close friends whom I haven't seen for a while is really become bitter towards women and it worries me. I can only tell him that you are only hurting yourself with those thoughts. I find it has a lot to do with the internet IMO, people on both sides can go on the web and find "info" and people to inflate their feelings that would other wise dissipate without the internet.

I have even removed friends on facebook who have posted things that only fuel the fire. I want no part of this.

a reply to: Pitou

In the other thread we have witnessed how men are feeling. The men that posted there are writing about how they feel. It isn't a pretty sight is it?

We must be open about this. It is pointless playing along to politically correct rhetoric if it is masking our true thoughts, feelings and experiences. In that thread I certainly got a good true picture about men's attitudes. Quite an eye opener, but not surprising.

New circumstances require adaptation and new strategies and attitudes I guess.

My answer to this is creative and individual relationships. No gender expectations, just two people creating their own relationship based on their own needs. We don't have to conform to stereotypes, we can be free of that. Men and women can make their own choices about the roles they play and it is all ok. It is a unique relationship, much more personalised to the needs of the couple and free of all the stupid red tape of ideology.

a reply to: Pitou

Yeah, well whatever to be honest. Personally, i'm moving on, women are all cray.

a reply to: Shepard64

I find it has a lot to do with the internet IMO, people on both sides can go on the web and find "info" and people to inflate their feelings that would other wise dissipate without the internet.

Imo, Its not the internet but the people "reared" nowadays with little feelings for anyone beyond their own selfish interests.

They 'love' to hurt and hate, if they can. Not just across gender boundaries either; race, politics, war, whatever. There is a steady infiltration of decency, reason and logic that belies the true intentions of some posters. They are snickering when they upset you, they could care less except that they have exceeded your expectations of illogic.

We must be careful not to hate the haters.

a reply to: Pitou
like discussed in the other post, it has to do with men that have unrealistic expectations and approach relationships in a self centered, childish manner.
this is not to say women are all saints, some of them are idiots that don't deserve anything. but generalizing is ignorant, and ultimately works against you.
We all have had bad experiences. One of my exes tried to stab me, for example. You will have women that take all your money, that cheat, but to say that the what, 2 or 10 experiences you had are a representation of ALL women out there is absurd to say the least.
Maybe at some point these dudes have to realize THEY are the problem. They are probably not mature enough to be in a relationship but instead of owning it, they just point their fingers, and say all the millions of women living in america alone have some sort of hive-mind and are all in on the same plot.
bigotry much?

originally posted by: IShotMyLastMuse
a reply to: Pitou
like discussed in the other post, it has to do with men that have unrealistic expectations and approach relationships in a self centered, childish manner.

Yeah, maybe its that. Maybe!

Or maybe it has nothing to do with some inherent problem with men or women. Maybe its just the materialistic no sense of loyalty society that we've become.

Either way it'd be unfair to interpret it as hate or some kind of misogyny when some chick with pretty blue eyes smiles my way and I just snob her off and look the other way like she means nothing to me. It's a closed heart and self defense mechanism. Just a road I won't be going down again, that's all.

I have no intention to get caught up in that game. Just to have to have my head done in competing with the next dude who turns up with a nice car or fat wallet. But just to be clear, I don't "hate" anyone!

But I've probably said to much already.

a reply to: butcherguy

Of course not.

Edit: Right now I don't think I personally have any hatred going on (in these matters I also like to keep it relatively gender-neutral as I'm against needless division and hostility) but it's always a good reminder. We should remain reflective on ourselves and re-assess assumptions and already accepted ideas.

a reply to: IShotMyLastMuse

I completely agree with you and what happened to you was very undeserved. It seems indeed a bit like a false argument to say about this matter that not all women are saints and all men mean bullies...

because thus far, as far as I can observe, nobody actually said that. And nobody in his or her right mind condones horrible and abusive actions and spousal abuse, no matter who's the culprit.

I could easily be considered a "MGTOW," but I have no hate in my heart, nor fear.

The trick is that with any group in our society, the negative, loud proponents inevitably come to define the group as a whole.

Rather than focusing on that, and which groups should/shouldn't exist or which groups are right/wrong, we can reject the false narrative and start writing a new one. One that focuses on areas of commonality that we can work on together, rather than spend all of our time pointing out errors based solely on division.

I believe it is possible, so I work towards it. Being a male that has no interest in a typical intimate relationship has no bearing on its success. The only time it would even come up is if a woman attempts to pursue me. That doesn't happen anymore, now that my back is broken.

It allows for more time and energy to be invested into my own work, which focuses on facilitating a better world for future generations of humanity (regardless of gender, skin color, financial status, etc.).

a reply to: lonesomerimbaud

Many people are of the view that if there's an issue it's your own fault or you should just keep it to yourself.

I get you don't like hearing how men some men feel OP. But this post isn't going to stop any of it from getting out there.

I spoke at length about how I feel in the MGTOW thread...I just find it sickening that guys feel and say these things just real matter-of-fact like as if women are the problem

Despite the fact that I am pissed off at this society which has been male-dominated since forever, I think whole of society has a serious sickness with all this division. The problem always comes back to discenrment...or the extreme lack thereof

I dated a woman once who freaked me out...pulled the whole "I am gonna kill myself if you leave" thing

That was frighetning...and sad. But all you have to do is put a little discernment and thought into the event

That PERSON ((not that WOMAN)) was ill...she needed help...NOT because she is a woman...but because she was a person who was ill

But then...what may have happened to her in early life to cause such a problem?

And even if nothing comes up and she just loves to play games, once again...THINK...this one or even multiple incidents do NOT make all of womanhood crazy and pathetic

Just the same, it does not give women the right to use feminism as a tool to destroy even the mos tinnocent and kind men

There is no discernment...not because we lack the capability...but because we lack the want...we prefer to live in our comfortable extremes

society is sick

S&F OP