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originally posted by: Pitou
It really saddens me to read and watch all this gender hate on ATS and in other places. It's not bringing you anything or anywhere.
By prejudging people based on their gender you deny yourself a part of your humanity imo and are not doing yourself any favour.
If anything, you spread more negativity and division in a world that's in dire need of some personal and emotional growth, love and the ability to see someone else for what he or she is, not what you project onto them.
I honestly think that this whole new gender bias movement is harming the individual that adheres to these 'philosophies'. Going your own way? Fine! Pleading for male (human) rights where they deserve it? Fine! But why does everything need to be drowned in a large swamp of misogyny and contempt? At that point it's no longer just about you and your own choices, thoughts and feelings but you create a new 'enemy', and these movements have bizarre ways of interacting with these self-created 'enemies'. It's a weird mixture of deep contempt, the idea that all of them are as dumb as a rock or somehow steal your sperm so that they can have kids after which the female conspiracy, who's always out there to get you, gets your money. Oh, and if you want to have sex, leave all normal, mature and human interaction aside and start with your strange manipulation, groping and bullying tricks to somehow hypnotise her into bed. But nothing more! 'Cause women are so manipulative!!
How can you be so blind! I have bad experiences with some men and saw bad things happen at the hands of men but same with women and I don't even like to speak of ''men'' or ''women'' in this context because it's obvious that there is no homogenous group of ''men'' who are all the same! The individuality and differences are so obvious that it's a total mystery to me how you can miss that. And when you grow blind to that, again, I think you're damaging yourself. Interaction with other people, regardless of their gender, is eventually a part of us and what we are. You're then denying yourself better opportunities and are cutting out a major part of yourself. I interact with men of course and if I'd start harbouring all these hateful ideas I'd be cutting out a part of myself that's been 'shaped' or gets shaped by the interaction with others, large part of them being men (or women, for that matter). And when you turn blind to individuality you are obscuring your own clear vision of the world, and no self-righteous ''but now I get it! Won't fall for those witches again!'' changes that. It implies an inherent conflict.
The world needs clarity. We don't need more division and distortion.
And it's not just men with bad experiences in marriage or something. Often these are young dudes who never even gave relationships or marriage an honest shot. I'm speaking of a lot of guys who're younger than 30-25-ish.
Expectations become unrealistic perhaps also when the individual upon which they are projected are unrealistic to expect from said individual. Looking at what many of these new misogyny dudes say and what they do even a remotely healthy relationship is unrealistic. Not exaggerating here. It's not addressing fear correctly. You fear something, but instead of recognising ''hey, I fear X or Y. This is something within me and not the fault of X or Y'' it's ''X or Y is dangerous and mean and I should shun and hate it''. Not recognising your own feelings and not recognising where they come from.
I don't like certain developments in society and this new misogyny is a part of it. Young people in my environment are docile, spoiled and never think beyond sushi, that person's really ugly dress or the latest development in that soap opera. (this is a rant, so bear with me! ) Both sides have unrealistic expectations about themselves, relationships and other things. One guy became an MGTOW not because the women in his life were horrible witches but because he literally ruined it himself by all the un-human expectations of a sugar-coated fairy world. Yes, that sets you up for failure and disappointment but at the same time he lacks the insight that it was he disappointing HIMSELF and not just the general evilness of the ladies.
People are obscuring their own vision! All this hate... Also, there're so many decent people out there and it's really not fair to project bad intentions on them. I've been in plenty occasions where exactly that happened, where they just assumed right away that I was some kind of evil/manipulative/otherwise undesirable person and they even twisted my words. It became a situation where you just couldn't win. Well, especially when I was a child and dependent upon others that was slightly hellish. Now that I'm a grown-up it still really sucks. But leave that aside: these people who did that obscured their own vision. They put on the projection and word-twist glasses and blinded themselves from reality. They also did so because they desired an outlet and wanted to make me feel like crap, but it was also that these fools deliberately blurred their own view.
I'm not going to pour mouthwash into my eyes either, so that I see less clearly! >_<
We need to improve as a society, as humanity, we need to work together and unite,build meaningful interactions be it marriage or otherwise, not hate or fight each other based on gender. We can do so much better!
Yet, I see all these movements growing....
I find it has a lot to do with the internet IMO, people on both sides can go on the web and find "info" and people to inflate their feelings that would other wise dissipate without the internet.
originally posted by: IShotMyLastMuse
a reply to: Pitou
like discussed in the other post, it has to do with men that have unrealistic expectations and approach relationships in a self centered, childish manner.