MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Way

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: GoShredAK
Again though, it always depends on the individual person.
Asserting attributes to the female gender based on ones own male experiences in a relationship with a woman is frankly ridiculous. Your experience is not everyones. I personally perceive a very thin line between negative gender generalisations and racism.

Well, not completely ridiculous. My observations are hardly derived from an isolated expierience. IMO I have covered a very broad base here.

Women truly respond to behavior. If you get too wrapped up in dramas and emotions, or react to certain situations the wrong way......they may stray.....it sucks, it may not seem right, but we as men have work to do. We work hard to keep our true loves.

If all that fails then it was not meant to be.

I think the best thing a man can do is guard his emotions, and only display them at the right times. Someone once gave me some advice, they said "switch the care meter", the less you care the more they do.

Women have the emotions covered, they generally do not want to see that in us. We are best to be immovable by that stuff, (even though we get hit just as hard, if not worse) and only show our hearts when it is necessary and will have a positive effect on the woman.

And just so you all know, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, take everything I wrote with a grain because I obviously have much learning yet.

I speak with a sense of authority because I lost her for a year, and I let it happen, failed as the dominant male to put a stop to what would soon take place.

My worse nightmare came true, I know how it feels to be cheated on.

My heart, many times my biggest weakness, when it counts, my ultimate strength. With that I fought mentally, spiritually, and physically till I had that stubborn girl back in my arms, together again raising our little family.

I prayed to Jesus so Many times "lord, if I get her back it'll be like winning the lottery for me, just bring her back"

I reinvented myself, I changed my negative ways, and those prayers came true.

My points are; True love with a good woman is as a very precious thing to behold, though many posters are correct, once you love so much that a lack of that love will cause grief, you are in deep my friend. (then again, if you survive that grief and come out the other side positive, you'll be stronger and more confident than you could imagine)

Other point is to guard your emotions! Don't be a robot, but don't expose any of your insecurities. Find the balance. My friend was right, the less you seem to care, the more they will. Just don't be an idiot and a jerk.

I'm married, this works on a daily basis with my wife, if I start rambling about things that are making me insecure, I am just diggin myself in a hole.

Ahhh geez, I should stop rambling......I know this is not a marriage advice thread, but I've been through a lot in my short time and Think the best way for MTGTOW is to guard our emotions and not participate in the bs games that generations of girls are unfortunately being brainwashed into thinking are normal.

Let us just work together and remind them of what a real man is. We won't be bothered with any petty drama, we are just too busy getting things done.

a reply to: TheLaughingGod

I've heard that Sweden is absolutely terrible with their laws. Not long ago, I heard many of the feminists there were upset that men tend to spread their legs while sitting on trains. Just ridiculous.

www.vice.com...

originally posted by: Expat888
a reply to: SearchLightsInc

With luck it will keep some guy from going through the living hell I got put through by my ex-wives and they will avoid marriage like the plague..

Have you, even once, considered the possibility that you played a part in your "hellish" marriages and their aftermath? That you picked partners poorly? Or perhaps had unrealistic expectations on those partners?

a reply to: ghostrager

I forget where I read this quote but it rings true to this divorcee:

" Men fall in love, Woman make deals."

Sad to admit I now rent my love. I refuse to put up with the manipulative psychotic bull#### inherent in any relationship just for sex.

I guess you can say the ladies have shown me how to find the better deal

The venom on this thread is disgusting. It's not worth reading or replying too. There is a lot of hate being spewed on both sides. Talk about more productive things and move on.

a reply to: Losonczy

And have you also looked at some of the gentle responses that seem to have found a gleam of middle ground?

They exist too

a reply to: TM62

I was touched by your description of how your relationship and way of interacting has evolved in your marriage, because it seems a really honest portrayal of how we aid each other to mature and learn how to love.

I mean, the tendancy to try to get out of a relationship what we need, regardless of what the other needs, is common when people are young and a relationship is first developing.

Whether it is the woman trying to get security, or the man trying to get sex, bartering and demanding goes on from each side.
Relationships need attention, and ability to change, learn and grow! Where did the idea come from that once married, it is a "done" deal, and we'd have nothing more to work on? It seems to be that expectation that is a cause of bitterness.

The relationship is a source of learning and growth, and this continues for a long time. We've been together more than 20 years, and we each matured in many ways because of it. If we had expected not to have our views and behaviors challenged, we would have given up long ago. In our case, we started out recognizing that there would be challenges, because we were from different cultures, and we decided we were ready to face those. (I still have a love letter my husband wrote to me back in our early days of dating, in which he pointed out the many challenges we had before us, and his conviction that we could overcome these and create our life together anyway- it was what got me on board. The man was realistic, brave and determined, which was really hard to find in a guy, I felt).

Apparently even people without that particular obstacle still struggle with the same sorts of feelings we did.

We evolved to a different sort of view and personality through those struggles. I am not possessive or jealous at all now - but I was once.

We talked yesterday about what we see in a few couples close to us who are either breaking up right now, or we perceive them as heading that way... in those cases, it seems to come down to the same thing- they aren't or weren't putting their attention into the relationship. They got comfortable and started taking the other for granted. One gets bored and their heart begins to stray.

We've found that we need to seduce each other again and again. Surprise each other, reinvent ourself. My husband will suddenly bring me flowers for no reason, or surprise me by whisking me off to a fancy hotel for the weekend (as we did this weekend!). It doesn't have to cost money though- in our earlier years it was a surprise picnic out on the top of our mountain, and making love in the grass.

I am still attentive to my body, staying in shape with the thought in mind of seducing him, and buying myself lingerie that I know is in his taste, or making an elaborate dinner to surprise him with, or having candles and oil ready to give him a backrub.

I will claim I don't need the flowers and surprises, he will claim he doesn't need me to stay in shape or to make these efforts for him- but the fact is, we each like doing these things, and the other almost becomes an excuse, or at least a inspiration for acts which we'd like to do.

What I hear from the people (both women and men) who say they are done with relationships is that they resent having to make effort and put energy into relationships. They want it to be easy, to be unchallenging. Like how easy it is to look up anything you want to know on the computer, or have whatever movie you want within minutes, or able to grab whatever food you have a hankering for, within minutes.

The appreciation of the process and trip of getting to your destination or goal, seems to have disappeared. Perhaps replaced by the dragons, demons, and battles involved in the journeys of video games?

originally posted by: undo
a reply to: ghostrager

it's a result of socialism. see, the gov thinks they are god on earth in socialist govs, so your rights don't matter. women's rights don't matter either, but they are currently being used to bring about a paradigm shift where men won't care if women are abused, enslaved by the state and so on. it's a divide and conquer strategy

I don't know. I live in a country which, though it has a capitalist economy, it has a very socialist culture, and yet this is not at all what I observe!

The government is seen as an employee and servant of the people, and expected to reflect the values and concerns of the majority.
The majority do not like abuse of women, nor of men, so the laws do not uphold that. The laws seem more fair to men and women in many ways- but that is a reflection of their cultural values.

a reply to: Bluesma

Thank you, your words are beautiful and I can relate to all that! l er We have definitely gone through all those changes and challenges, it's awesome to know there are others out there with similar hearts, I have read a couple on this thread, which is hopeful. We too are from differing cultures and opposite coastlines so yea very challenging indeed! But what a boring journey life would be without all of it, I have definitely come to love it all the good and the bad of it, sometimes I feel we are both like that, sometimes we are out in left field, but what the heck alone time is good too, LOL. Giving to someone you love and accept as a partner is just rewarding in itself, at times I don't want to and that's okay, I try not to take anything the other does personally or find fault cause he may not be living up to my ideals, but that's okay his life is not mine to direct. I so appreciate him! Happy is key IMO, that comes from within not from without.

a reply to: ghostrager

Like I said in the another thread, if I were to end up divorcing my wife, I would not marry again.

If I never married, I would not get married.

originally posted by: macman
a reply to: ghostrager

Like I said in the another thread, if I were to end up divorcing my wife, I would not marry again.

If I never married, I would not get married.

I totally agree, I don't think I would ever do it again. Now I know the paper isn't necessary.

originally posted by: corvuscorrax

The irony of this post is that the toxic, undesirable women will STILL most likely pass on their genes while draining the life of any man with their vitriolic, materialistic behavior and sense of superiority. Then take the kids after shes done and mold them in her own terrible image to procreate through the ages.

If a man is stupid enough to marry a toxic, undesirable woman and have kids with her, he's just as much to blame for it than she is. They make a good pair.

I don't get why people marry in the first place. What advantages do you derive from marriage that you can't have from simply being a couple?

I have no plans to marry. My parents were never married and despite the tense times they went through, they never worried about the potential divorce and its consequences. In my family one couple was married and they broke up, one of their kids suffered of the psychological consequences well into his thirties. The other couple, my parents, is still going strong after over 30 years.

I'm sure many couples would last longer if they didn't have the pressure of the marriage over their heads.

originally posted by: Dabrazzo
a reply to: ghostrager

Personaly ive noticed more and more women especialy younger generations NOT THAT I PREY ON YOUNG NAIVE WOMEN LOL are becoming brainwashed in far greater numbers than before. And its not just material stuff like cars, jewelery etc its also this celebrity driven bull# ive noticed invading their minds at a younger age. They honestly just seem totaly delusional, its like they are actualy trying to live the lives of their idols they see on TV and in magazines, kinda scary to be honest and I just cant be F***d with any of that nonsense.

I call it princess syndrome.

it seems to me the merchants and the media have stuffed women so full of mindcrud BS that women are choosing the men who best help line the pockets of the merchant and media.
Many men will go overboard to please a women, and 'they' know this, it sells cars, jewelry, houses, clothes, dinners, etc.
Us men have to compete against that, even if we can't afford it.

Women are wallet grease.

Sucks to be a man, because unless you 'give in' you may just be without a mate.
No wonder men are killing themselves.

Not all women are like this and so brainwashed, but us guys need a break from all this unfair competition between us guys to attract these women.

a reply to: ghostrager

Haha, yeah, well.. These types of things happen all the time, I can't believe people put up with it but they do, I can't believe people don't find it abnormal and totalitarian but they don't.

A sign of the efficacy of brainwashing eh?

great thread , i think it is all about our evolutionary "greed" gene.

for example women will go off with a more "successful"(richer,stronger male because it's in her interest to do so and the male with a more " successful"(prettier/richer) female in a sense loyalty is bogus ,guilt is something different all together.

i'm not sure why there's a legal contract such as marriage, since humans are mostly selfish and generally fearful hence State security creep

Are there any demographics regarding the men that subscribe to these beliefs? Where, How old, Economic situation and education for example.

a reply to: Leonidas
Nope there is no such thing. I think for the most part you can blame the economy, because lets face it that has more to do with love and relationships then most things do, after all its still the number one reasons couples go there separate way.

In all I think there making # up, with this MGTOW thing. Sure there are some dudes who are done, but I think there somewhere around 0.01%. And most of them just smartened up to the whole scam and waste of time of it all, and just decided to go along with it at some other date when there older and more set to deal with the craziness.

The most part seems to be those who got and irk or the whole feminist vs mannist thing. I mean have you read about the guy who had 11 wife's. Thats some crazy #, its a miracle the guy is stable enough to type on this website or that he has enough cash for a computer left, he must be contemplating the reasons why our prestigious ancestors had concubines right about now, but I suppose that is the curse of being more social upward mobile, it makes you a target for all of them. But dam! He is likely the least of it, plenty of hidden barbs in this whole thing. Oh ya! Its not going to go away anytime soon, way to much bad blood for sure and hidden spites, that to for sure.

So its probably that, and its bound to happen. And you know what goes around comes around, and you got plenty of people out there who had more then a few bad blood in there relationships. There likely the ones who carry this thing more so then the MGMTOWM or whatever dudes. And I for one cant blame them, be they male of female.

And if there is something more going on. Well it has been proven time and time again, that the last people who will find out is you people. So, I think if there is some force doing all this, then there is no way in hell even a chance that you can change it, or likely even begin to guess about it. And as such there is no point to think about it further. Either way its a done deal most likely and it will achieve whatever its objectives are if it that has not happened already.

So ya...Nothing real to see here...Just mossy on along there people. Cant we just get along...Or at the very least pretend that we do...Or how about this, why dont we all just fake it. After all it seems ignoring things is the thing to do now a day... Right?

Oh look. There is even a song about it. How predictably quaint that, seems Hollywood is already 5 steps ahead.

a reply to: galadofwarthethird

there's just one problem with the video's message:

if a woman is unattractive, she is expected (and even expects this of herself) to at least try to be presentable, and if possible, apply a bit of artistic know how to accentuate her better features, while playing down her less attractive ones. for example, if a woman has very wide hips, she knows she can draw attention away from that feature, to, perhaps, a thinner waistline. this is so when she goes out in public, or looks in the mirror, she doesn't become an eyesore to the otherwise glorious-ness of nature around her. so women don't just dress/accentuate/doll up/etc, their appearance for the potentiality of attracting attention or mates or accolades from others, but also for her own peace of mind. (generally speaking)