5 days till Christmas, so thought I would share my 1st Christmas story. I welcome all to share their uplifting stories too.
I was born into a devoted family of Jehovah's Witnesses in the late 1950's. So, I wasnt exposed to decorating, traditions, family dinners, Santa or
presents. I learned the history of Christmas, its true origins of Saturn Worship, and paganism, and how more suicides occur during Christmas, blah
blah blah, and was told that true Christians didnt celebrate Christmas. I was told over and over, Jehovah's Witnesses have the Truth". "We have the
Truth" became a mantra or slogan among the faithful. "We have the truth" and only "the truth" will set you free"!
So, I asked my mom, "What does it mean that the "truth" would set you free?" Her reply was that "it sets you free from having to do things like
celebrate the holidays". So, In my young mind, I was thinking, what if "I don't want to be set free from getting toys?" But, I continued in the faith
without questioning the "Truth". How can you question "The Truth"? I was a pharisee of pharisee's. Spent my time going door to door preaching the good
news of the Kingdom! You can be set free from celebrating Christmas!
At that time, the JWs were so sure that the end would come in 1975 that the young girls in the church, were married off at an alarming rate. I married
at 16, and I was much older than most. Getting educated was considered too worldly, teens were encouraged to quit school and go into full time
ministry going door to door to save the people. I was a 16 yr old virgin, and I had married a 24-year-old monster. 6 years and 3 kids later, I told
what was happening to me, to a couple of my big sisters and they promptly moved me out of the situation. I immediately began to seriously reevaluate
"The Truth according to the JWs". I started reading the bible and it didn't take me long to realize, these people are full of something besides God
So, I left my husband, and I left my church. Now you can't just walk away from being a JW. When you leave, you leave all your family, and friends. I
was an uneducated 22-year-old, with 3 children under 3 years old. No family, no friends, no support system of any kind. Living in constant fear that
the end of the world was already overdue. If I ran into a friend, they would turn their back and not speak to me. To this day over 30 years later, I
still have 3 sisters who will not speak to me. My mom starting talking to me about 5 years ago, when she got Alzheimer's and forgot she wasnt allowed
to. But, 30 years ago, I was very confused. I didn't know a god of love, only a god to be afraid of, He just waited for you to screw up so He could
punish you. Even though I had left the church, I was still under the spell of a cult religion. Waiting for Armageddon to kill us off for "Leaving
Jehovah" I had truly been brain washed into believing the deadly JW lie. It was a seriously scary time for me.
I moved way out in the country. Bought chickens, and planted a garden, It was like 45 minutes from the nearest small town. I was constantly haunted by
the fear that my children would die at Armageddon. It completely overwhelmed me. I looked at a lot of non christian religious teachings, searching
for "truth" but none felt right. I even explored the occult, I had bought a tarot deck and on the way home the devil card kept falling out of the
deck and onto my lap, it scared the crap out of me, so I threw them out the window. Lol I did get another deck, but thats another story. Anyway, I
would look at my beautiful children and I knew I had no answers. And getting answers was the only way to deprogram the brainwashing. I would weep and
pour my heart out hoping and praying that there really was a God. I couldn't see any possible way to support and care for my children and save them
On one of those nights, of weeping and praying, I had an encounter that forever changed my life. I was in my living room stoking the fire. The kids
and I had taken the wagon down to the creek and fished out some of the least soggy pieces of drift wood to burn. It was a cold clear winter night, and
they were sound asleep in their room. The moon was full, and a million stars filled the sky.
I felt so small and alone, and I looked into the night sky and said "If there is a God, and your big enough to make the stars and the moon, why arent
you big enough to tell me who you are? Are you Buddha? Are you Hindu? Are you Jehovah? Are you Jesus?"
It happened as I said the name of Jesus, something came over me. I thought I was a really pious good person, having been a devoted JW and all I had
given up to pursue spiritual truth, but in that moment, every sin I had ever sinned crossed in front of my eyes. Like a death scene but only it was
sin. I saw the candy bar I had stolen when I was about 5 or 6. Stupid #, self-righteous, things you would never tell anyone, ever. I fell on my face
in utter disgust. I felt like a puddle of mud. I wanted to vomit from the ugly truth that was revealed inside my very own soul.
In the distance, I could sense and hear myself speaking, singing and pleading without my understanding or control, strange utterances from an unknown
origin was pouring uncontrollably from my lips. I had no will to stop the flow, because as the out pouring continued, I felt wave after wave of peace
and forgiveness and pure love poured in, out and through me. My living room was filled with a golden glow, and it wasn't the old wood stove.
I had no idea what had happened, I just knew it was connected to the name of Jesus and he was connected to the bible, so I began to reread it. The
only one I had was the JW bible. A few days later, I woke up to find that a curtain had gotten into the fish tank that was sitting on my bookshelf and
sucked all the water out of the tank and drowned every book I owned, which meant, my only bible, the JW bible was no longer readable.
A few days after that my kids and I were walking down the road and a women in a bright red Cadillac drove up and said,"Gods telling me to give you a
bible". I didn't realize until much later that it was her personal bible that she had given me. The bible was a King James, which is the only version
the JWs recognize besides their own.The columns on every page had handwritten scriptures and footnotes, It sort of led me into so many truths.
I tore into it, trying to understand What had happened to me. I had questions that I simply couldn't answer. I analyzed and continued to pester God
about it. So, early one morning, I awoke to a stranger knocking at my door. He held a piece of paper in his hands and said, "I was awakened in the
middle of the night by an angel and he told me to write down these scriptures, and on my way to work this morning, I was told to stop by your house
and give them to you." He turned around got into his truck and drove away. I learned later that he owned the local feed store, and had never done such
a thing. I was very glad he did because the scriptures he wrote down were the ones that held the key to answering my questions of what happened to me
on that frosty night.
edit on 19-12-2014 by misskat1 because: misspell