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Hello, I'm Matthias. Behold, my story.

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posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:40 PM
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originally posted by: Lux96
Well, the psychiatrist doesn't actually consider me schizophrenic...

Psychiatry is a scam...

Check the below links for more on this:


“Biological psychiatry is a total fraud.” — Fred Baughman,

“Psychiatry” has NO, and I mean ZERO medical basis whatsoever.

Psychiatry is a Total Fraud


Must watch short film for anyone that has been diagnosed with any kind of "Mental Illness".


The diagnosis of mental illness is always a weapon ~ Dr. Jeffrey Schaler




posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:40 PM
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originally posted by: threeeyesopen
I've done good and bad things, and will continue to do so because duality is the nature of the plane of existence we are on. Duality is very much a physical concept and it's adapted to the things we do, either to ourselves or others. You see the trick is knowing that duality exists to try and confine you..the key to transcendence is accepting that fact, and encompassing it within yourself to get to a higher state where all things are one and not duality. Duality is judgement, oneness is acceptance. You could also say that the lower based emotions (anger, fear, loathing etc..) exist primarily on the plane of existence where duality thrives whereas love being all encompassing is part of the oneness with everything.


What do you think of my duality experience?



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:43 PM
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originally posted by: Lux96

originally posted by: threeeyesopen




Furthermore I've had a number of years where some of the most unbelieveable things occurred. They are as I said "unbelievable" so no one believes it's true except those whom I've chosen to show certain things to...they believe.


Sounds interesting, maybe later if you get "to know me better" or trust me you could share some stuff.
I'm open to anything, I'm actually so open I get brainwashed very easely. Don't hurt me, I'm fragile.


What I find very interesting is that we both have a variant of the same name. I'm open to share certain experiences but I'm certainly not looking to brainwash anyone..mind you I could easily start my own cult if I really wanted too, it just doesn't interest me to have people blindly following me like lost sheep.

Fact is some of the knowledge that I have, I will not share with the profane as I mentioned earlier, it's simply a waste
edit on 21-11-2014 by threeeyesopen because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:48 PM
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originally posted by: threeeyesopen

originally posted by: Lux96

originally posted by: threeeyesopen




Furthermore I've had a number of years where some of the most unbelieveable things occurred. They are as I said "unbelievable" so no one believes it's true except those whom I've chosen to show certain things to...they believe.


Sounds interesting, maybe later if you get "to know me better" or trust me you could share some stuff.
I'm open to anything, I'm actually so open I get brainwashed very easely. Don't hurt me, I'm fragile.


What I find very interesting is that we both have a variant of the same name. I'm open to share certain experiences but I'm certainly not looking to brainwash anyone..mind you I could easily start my own cult if I really wanted too, it just doesn't interest me to have people blindly following me like lost sheep.

Fact is some of the knowledge that I have, I will not share with the profane as I mentioned earlier, it's simply a waste


Please do share what you deem me worthy. I am always eager to learn. I won't blindly follow you, I will however be very open to new ideas and probably manifest my own truth out of it.



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:50 PM
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originally posted by: Lux96

originally posted by: threeeyesopen
I've done good and bad things, and will continue to do so because duality is the nature of the plane of existence we are on. Duality is very much a physical concept and it's adapted to the things we do, either to ourselves or others. You see the trick is knowing that duality exists to try and confine you..the key to transcendence is accepting that fact, and encompassing it within yourself to get to a higher state where all things are one and not duality. Duality is judgement, oneness is acceptance. You could also say that the lower based emotions (anger, fear, loathing etc..) exist primarily on the plane of existence where duality thrives whereas love being all encompassing is part of the oneness with everything.


What do you think of my duality experience?


I think you are on a similar path I was once on and have gotten passed. There was a time when I was obsessed with the concept of duality but as time went on and I continued to explore, I found that duality can only be the exception for one type of existence, that is to say we are governed by duality but that is because we believe it is an absolute necessity. In truth all things are one and are not seperate from themselves, much like how when you throw a stone in water it has a ripple effect..everything you do affects the whole of things, wether it is "good" or "bad" if that makes any sense.



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:53 PM
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If you send me a direct message I will answer your questions there. Just ask me a specific question & it's not so much a matter of worthiness, it's a matter of wether someone is going to waste my time by trying to ridicule me in some way or try to coerce me into their little "trap" so they can feel satisfied that ignorance is bliss and all is well in the world of make believe..ahem "reality"



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:55 PM
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originally posted by: threeeyesopen

originally posted by: Lux96

originally posted by: threeeyesopen
I've done good and bad things, and will continue to do so because duality is the nature of the plane of existence we are on. Duality is very much a physical concept and it's adapted to the things we do, either to ourselves or others. You see the trick is knowing that duality exists to try and confine you..the key to transcendence is accepting that fact, and encompassing it within yourself to get to a higher state where all things are one and not duality. Duality is judgement, oneness is acceptance. You could also say that the lower based emotions (anger, fear, loathing etc..) exist primarily on the plane of existence where duality thrives whereas love being all encompassing is part of the oneness with everything.


What do you think of my duality experience?


I think you are on a similar path I was once on and have gotten passed. There was a time when I was obsessed with the concept of duality but as time went on and I continued to explore, I found that duality can only be the exception for one type of existence, that is to say we are governed by duality but that is because we believe it is an absolute necessity. In truth all things are one and are not seperate from themselves, much like how when you throw a stone in water it has a ripple effect..everything you do affects the whole of things, wether it is "good" or "bad" if that makes any sense.


Yes, I understand. Therefore I am gratefull for darkness for it has in a way made me a better person...
Sometimes I wonder if that was the purpose the entire time...
Based on the experiences I had, they could have easely put me down like a stray dog. But now, they destroyed my ego completely, leaving "pure", I was like a little baby, except I could think and act, but the world was now magic and everything was love, I would do everything for everyone, it made no difference who you were, nobody was judged, I would happily obey any law, how small it might be, just to do good and behave.

Now, that was a glimpse of a feel good world, magic, unconditional love. I don't think it is as it should be but it showed me what CAN if your ego will let you, I'm not saying ego is a bad thing, like you say good and bad they cross paths many times...

But in a way the experience cured me of being an asshole, thats what happened basically, for wich I'm forever grateful.
edit on 21-11-2014 by Lux96 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:56 PM
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Thanks for the contribution Murgatroid.



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:57 PM
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a reply to: Lux96

Welcome to ATS Matt




posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:58 PM
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originally posted by: douglas5
a reply to: Lux96

Welcome to ATS Matt



Thanks Doogle.



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:05 PM
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Can anybody answer me how to customize my avatar and stuff?

This site is too complex for me, lol



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:11 PM
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a reply to: Lux96
Seeing as you are greatful for your experiences, surely you learned a good bit from them.take what you learned and make sense of it..where do those lessons apply in your life right now ? and more so how has the past not only affected you but also the decisions you made/make. No one has the right to criticize you for doing things to help yourself. Think about this..for the most part people don't like those who are more fortunate than they are, however seldom do we stop and ask how that person got to where they are..and how did it affect the people around them possibly for the better.



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:12 PM
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Did my message arive threeeyesopen, I'm not sure if I have actually send it, could be I have sent it twice.. hmm.



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:17 PM
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originally posted by: threeeyesopen
a reply to: Lux96
Seeing as you are greatful for your experiences, surely you learned a good bit from them.take what you learned and make sense of it..where do those lessons apply in your life right now ? and more so how has the past not only affected you but also the decisions you made/make. No one has the right to criticize you for doing things to help yourself. Think about this..for the most part people don't like those who are more fortunate than they are, however seldom do we stop and ask how that person got to where they are..and how did it affect the people around them possibly for the better.


I'm not exactly sure, but I have an apointment with a good doctor on monday, it's a spiritual kind of doctor, he has studied both homeopathy and classic medicine, but it's not about that, it's to talk about life and he said he had much to tell me.

Like I said, he has always been there for me.
However I must learn to make some decisions myself and guide myself, but at the moment some things in my life are not right and I need to set things straight.

I can use my personality for humanitarian purposes, wich I intend to, not to talk about crazy stuff, but to aid and assist other people.
I have worked in a resthome and in a hospital, well the hospital where I was hospitalized I guided the elderly and went to the market with them and stuff.

Rewarding work.


edit on 21-11-2014 by Lux96 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:30 PM
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Seems I should have come here much earlier. :/

Oh well, I'm only 26, hopefully much time to meet people here.



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:46 PM
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originally posted by: Murgatroid

originally posted by: Lux96
Well, the psychiatrist doesn't actually consider me schizophrenic...

Psychiatry is a scam...


Well, now you show me the thread of the implants, I actually thought I had a transmitter in my tooth, connected to the bomb, so they could hear what I say and a receiver in my ear wich was also connected to the bomb.

Weird #, I'll tell you that.



posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 11:34 PM
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originally posted by: Shana91aus
a reply to: Lux96
Can I ask what its like hearing voices? like is it like someone's in the room talking to you or is it like over powering in your head?



I'm sorry, I forgot to answer your question, for me, luckily, they are like thoughts, like imagine saying a word for example car. Imagine saying car. You imagine your voice saying car, so inside your head you "kinda" feel like you say car, you can sorta "hear" it, it's more like visualising the sound. I think you understand what I mean, just like when you read something someone else says it's possible you read it in their voice if you know their voice well.

Everybody knows the morgan freeman thing I think, where they ask you, like if you read this in Morgan Freemans voice.

Anyways, so it's like thoughts, silent whispers but still kinda hearable, I don't hear them like outside sounds like in the room or something, they are not loud, but I have heard from other peoples experiences they actually do hear them loud and clear from outside like if they were in the room.

I only experienced such a thing once and that was right before I fell a sleep, I heard someone yelling my name as if the person was near me. But that wasn't related to psychosis it was more of a dream-state.

I hope that explains.



posted on Nov, 22 2014 @ 12:31 AM
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a reply to: Lux96

It is still important though im glad you got the help too prevent wanting too commit suicide again.

a reply to: Lux96

Thats really interesting too me thankyou for answering! It totally makes sense too me what your saying, i had always thought it would be like actual voices because of how so many people think that they are so real when suffering from them, but i guess if its in your head it is still real too you, and it would also depend on the individual and severity of their psychosis too ofcourse.


edit on 22-11-2014 by Shana91aus because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 22 2014 @ 03:03 AM
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originally posted by: Shana91aus
a reply to: Lux96

It is still important though im glad you got the help too prevent wanting too commit suicide again.



I doubt it will ever get that extreme again, also I'm in good hands, I get alot of support from my family and other people.
I have great share of luck in my life, others are less fortunate, so even though my life was "hard" I am grateful for what I have, the only real problem I have is "normal life", going to work and stuff. I can't seem to keep doing a job. Somehow suddenly my mind begins to refuse and then I begin feeling "ill" and stuff. It's really annoying. I must really find something right up my alley. The rest-home and hospital experience was quite nice, something like that.

I have alot of work ahead. This thread is just one of the last outbreaks of my madness, I need to clean up my mess and become an adult. I want to be someone who is respected and on who you can depend. I want to be someone people turn to for advice. Clearly in the shape I am now this is totally not possible. But I will grow, no worries.

For your sister, I would advise, if she's feeling like zombie, to play around with dosage or other medication/combos.
Finding the right balance is very important, you CAN take medication and still feel good, unless the illness has got her so bad. But I think she can atleast feel better than she does now, I don't know how she actually feel I'm just trying to guess at what you say...

I took me a few years before I got the medication right. Had alot of ups and downs too. It sucks.. Good luck.



posted on Nov, 22 2014 @ 08:46 AM
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a reply to: Lux96

That's great and it really does make a whole difference when you have a support network!

Maybe you just need to find something that you really like and stick with that, you draw with music right so maybe you have an artistic flare look at following that passion, its great for our mental health aswell and you can express yourself through it. Its all trial and error you just need too find something that you love and stick too it, there Is no rush either you don't want to take on too much at once.
You definitely don't lack the motivation and if you look back and see what you have obviously already overcome well you can do almost anything, because all that only makes you stronger.

Im not actually in contact with my SIL right now for various reasons that I wont discuss here but she is in a psych ward and will more than likely remain there, I can't see her ever getting better at this rate, every option has been exhausted every medication and dosage and trial has been done. This has been going on since she was 16 she is now 34. Thanks for the info though I like too learn everything I can about mental illness.




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